Sometimes, I just don't know.

Sweetie and son. 

Sometimes, I just don't know. It has been over a year that I started this blog, and it confuses me. Not that I'm still writing, for I will probably continue for until that day when Jesus comes calling. And then maybe for a little while during the process of moving from caregiver to widow, to embracing life as a single man. 

It isn't anything that I can do to improve my outlook, its that the thrill is gone from posting. I feel like it is getting boring to you, my readers. I would get excited by the numbers of who would stop in and read my silly ass post, and now the numbers are decreasing. After a year, it seems that it is, as one of my pastors used to say, the "Chosen Frozen." that hang around and read. Then there are the times when my post on Facebook isn't accepted by those who allow the post to post for hours after I've posted. You see, I get energy from hits and comments, it is as if I have a purpose to what I'm doing. 

Sunday was kinda of strange day. Sweetie didn't want to get up, so I let her stay in bed. Of course that meant wet sheets, and with enough dirty clothes in the washer, to do a load, so it was good. When I tried to get her to go with me to the mall, she didn't want to go, but then later on, we went. Such is life with Sweetie. If she doesn't want to do what I want her to do, just wait five minutes, and she will change her mind. 

Some good news, last time we showered, I was able to get her on a scale, and she gain 6lbs. 

I'm worrying about her energy levels, the are slowly going down. Her not wanting to move, and when I get her up, she is having a rough time of it. Her balance seems to be off just slightly, I hold both of her hands and guide her to the bathroom when I get her out of bed. Once bathroom duties are done, she seems to be better. She just likes to stay in still, and when she is up, she gets going. 

I am trying something new. I gave her her Milk of Magnesium last night at dinner time. My hope is that while she is sleeping, it is doing what it does best. So we can get that part over with first thing in the morning, instead of waiting all day with wet farts. 

Driver knows how this trip is draining my energy. He's there everyday, watching and giving me comfort. "Just get through today, for today is all we have." is His encouragement. As we get another tank of fuel for the day on the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.