Thunder and Lighting.

At the fair with our grandsons.

It rained last night, got a couple claps of thunder. It wasn't so loud that it didn't scare Sweetie. She used to love watching the lighting and rain coming down. Now it is something that I don't think she can comprehend. As we stood at the backdoor and watched for a couple of minutes, there was a flash of lighting that etched its way across the sky, she barely noticed it. Its monsoon season here in the southwest. With it comes sudden thunderstorms, this year, with us being on the golf course, it might be challenging. 

Because of her dementia, the old saying that "all things become new" is in play. There will be new fear, new joys, and different ways of responding to them. 

Yesterday, we had an early appearance of sundowners. We were back from our morning walk, I was mowing the lawn, when it showed up. Was able to finish mowing the lawn, when the "boys" came a calling. She just had to get out of the house, to get free to help them. I used to panic, now, I head for the CBD and Stress lotion, talking softly, and with great care, I'm able to get her to comply with my request and take the Hemp oil and rub some lotion on her. Then it is batten down the hatches and ride out the storm. Within about 15 minutes she shows signs of back to her "normal" self. It seems that after each sundowners attack, there is a sight change in her. Now, she will crawl into the bed we have down stairs, cuddle up with her Dumbo stuff animal. 

My Driver told me not to worry about the rain, He has some kind of polish that keeps the water from sticking on the car. He says that no matter what, He will keep her shiny. I just wish sometimes that I had the ability of keep such a positive outlook on life. I can fantasize what life will be like, but it is only a dream. He knows what is going to happen, and He just encourages me to keep going. One sundowners at a time, one day at a time, sometimes one step at a time. Like last night, the storm came and went, and that is my hope and strength, for this too will pass. He lets me know that He is there for me, as we motor down the Road to Dementia Town, watching out for pot holes, as we Keep our Shiny Side Up. Hope you have good driving weather as you travel down your Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, God Bless.     

You don't know what you have until it is gone.

My Sweetie

That old saying "You don't know what you have until it is gone." is a living fact, when your life is tied up with your loved one as you care for them as you travel with them to Dementia Town. The daily life of not knowing who will come down the stairs in the morning and who I tuck into bed at night will be the same person. They are in the aspect of the body they are occupying, and that too is failing. 

We are in good health, and I know the more I encourage her to be outside and walking with me, less couch time, she will stay fairly healthy. I know I'm only slowing down the physical reality's of what this disease does to its victims. Her mobility is important to me, for we are not locked into a prison of non-movement.

Monday, daycare is opening, and I've made the decision not to start back up, because of the restriction that are, in my humble opinion, stupid. The first and important one is mask. Sweetie cannot wear a mask more than a minute, can you imagine what it would be like if they tired to make her wear one all day long? Then the consequences I'd have to pay when I picked her up. There wouldn't be any benefits to me taking her there.

I know things are heading into a new direction with Sweetie, for one, she is getting up earlier each day, and I don't know where that will lead. She is fighting eating. I have to help her more each day. She wants to quit eating, eating less and that scares me. Less food, means faster physical decay. 

These are the things that I talk about when I'm with my Driver. Who is waiting for me now. We are going to start out heading to the filling station first this morning. He says I need to get my tank filled up with pure Love fuel, for it might be a bumpy road ahead. I trust Him to know the road ahead, for He is my Driver. So, off we go, heading down the Road to Dementia Town, Shiny Side Up as we go. If you need a refill of your Love fuel, just follow us, we're heading there now, just make sure your Keeping Your Shiny Side Up, too. Love Ya, Take Care and God Bless.       

Baseball, golf, and a nap.

Sweetie and the Angels

Under normal circumstance, there would be plans to see where the Angels were playing and make plans on going there. I promised myself that when I retired, I would see at least one game a year, and that would be on my birthday. This will be the first year I'll miss that game. Sweetie would come with me and we'd make a week long "vacation" out of it. We've been to Cali for the first one, and I've been to Boston and Cali for the past two. I use my birthday trip as my respite away from Sweetie. 

Heard back from the daycare and they said that masks are recommended, not required. I still think we are going to hold off for awhile.

As of now, Sweetie and me have a good thing going. She can handle the cart bumping as we drive, and she seems to enjoy being outside. Yesterday, she was pointing out clouds and contrails. Oh how she loves seeing things in the sky. My biggest concern is that she wants to talk when I'm getting ready to hit the ball and she has walked towards me while I'm swinging the club. We work on that, so as long as we can cart it, for now there isn't any reason to put her back in daycare. I'm enjoying this for now. 

Yesterday, after lunch, we go for our afternoon walk around. When we get home, we sit in the backyard and rest and cool off. For the first time, she wanted to lay down an rest. I had her put her head on my lap and she went to sleep. It was so nice, her asleep, and me watching her and the birds and taking my own catnap. 

Sweetie's Dementia is starting to become a bouncing ball. There are times when she will remember stuff, and then another part of her is gone. I can't put my finger on just what, because it is so mixed up. She is allowing me to feed her more and that is good and bad at the same time. 

Last night we had Mac and Cheese with hot dogs cut up in it. She ate what I gave her, and then I continued to feed her from my bowl. I'm happy she is eating more, and worried on how long I have before I am feeding her all the time. 

These are worries and concerns that I share each day with my Driver. Who is here now. He's ready and able to multitask duties. Not only is He an excellent driver, but a great listener too. I'm always amazed on how He can, with just a nudge re-direct my thinking, and make things better, all the while, keeping His eyes on the the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. I hope you have a Driver that will help you nudge your thinking from problems to solutions, as you travel down Your Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side up. Love Ya and God Bless. 

Life is joy found.

I do love my Sweetie.

Why do I do the things I do? Seems like a simple question, but it isn't. If my life with Sweetie was going to be the simple life of two people growing old together, spending time enjoying what life has to offer, with the grand children, going on trips, walking hand in hand on the beach, doing all those things we had talked about in our younger years. That would be the simple life. 

Life has thrown us a curve and simple now isn't the simple we had dreamed about. Simple now is making it from sunrise to sunset without a confrontation of wills. I struggle everyday knowing that sundowners might just be around the corner of each and every evening. Conforming my life to what her needs are, and being able to combine my simple joys with her abilities to be with me. 

Maybe this is the best for both of us for right now. I have my quiet time to reflect and write. I have to figure out what to do each day, and so far, I think I'm doing a good job. Preparing meals, dressing her, brushing her teeth, keeping her as healthy as I can. Making sure she doesn't hurt anyone or herself are my two biggest concerns. 

I just wish we were more of a couple. I can take her places, out to eat, to the golf course, walks around the neighborhood, but we are not a couple. It is me and my ward. We can't share those moments together, mentally. There isn't the back and forth as to what the food was like, did you like this or that, for I'm talking to a babbling brook. She responds and what comes out isn't anything that makes sense. I feel so alone sometimes. 

The best thing about taking care of Sweetie is that she gives me a purpose to my life. I don't know what it would be like if she wasn't with me. If is wasn't for the hugs in the morning, the kisses through out the day, the looks that tell me she is still in there, that is what fill my day. She makes me full of joy. 

The need to find happiness, joy, and companionship is very present. If I concentrate on what I don't have, I will be forever bitter so I need to celebrate what I do have. For as each day passes, that light grows a little more dim, and so while there is still light, I will celebrate what we have. 

My Driver has told me the same thing, and as often as it is, it isn't until I tell you, that is when I get it. And He's smiling. At last! You got it Old Man! He knows I'm dense, so He keeps at it. Life is joy found, and finding the joy is part of that which I find joy in. He's smiling again, for I've just unlock another secret. You know it is going to be a great ride today as we head down the Road to Dementia Town, me in the passenger seat, wearing my cool sunglasses, and my Driver sitting tall, with His great smile, as we Keep our Shiny Side Up. Keep on smiling as you drive, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya and God Bless. 

The most stupidest thing I've heard.

I love you.

Please excuse me for this portion of my posting. Last night I heard from our daycare people and the governor has made the decision to open senior centers again, that was the good news. That is to a limited amount of people, and that they wear mask. Of all the stupid things I've heard over the pandemic, this is one of those that rate right up there in the top 10. To have seniors who don't know where they are, half the time, to explain to them that they have to wear a mask is just stupid.  I've attempted to get Sweetie to wear a mask, and it last about 5 minutes. She doesn't understand, she doesn't like it and she says she can't breath with it on. So, I told our person that we will be sitting out our participation until all restrictions have been removed. The good thing about this is we've been able to work through the restrictions and so far things are working well. 

With developing the new routine, when I hear Sweetie getting up and going to her, I think I'll be able to help her more and she won't be so confused when she comes down stairs. I think that it will relieve her of where she is and what to do. That she won't be alone, and that is frightening to her. She is so attached to me that leaving her at anytime upsets her. 

We're still out walking and I've got most of the walk paths for us to equal about 2 miles a day. I know that it is best for her, and she will be healthier for it. We're now using a golf cart when we head for the course. She is getting used to the bumpy ride and we have dry pants when we go home. To me that is worth it. 

Had a very good day, and I'm looking forward to another one. We're pretty much got ourselves is a good schedule. The lunch in the backyard, sitting on the couch, watching nothing special is becoming my favorite time with her. I can cat nap and then watch her for awhile. She seems so at ease with everything. Special time is when she starts her boys story. I pray that there isn't a time when I get bored with it. 

One of the things I've put into play is a walk after lunch. Like I said, about 2 miles and it takes us about 45 minutes. It helps work off the lunch and when we get back, we go back to the couch in the backyard with a glass of ice water to sit and cool off. This way we are not sitting in front of the TV all day long, and she doesn't get bored with the TV. I don't think she can continually process what she sees if it doesn't tickle her interest. 

There He is, "it's about time You showed up." but then again, His timing is always perfect. It is time for me to get on my way, to start my day, spending that special time with my Driver. Looking to the day, driving down the Road to Dementia Town, sharing my cares and joys with Him, as He drives us, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Care to follow us? We can stop and sit on the side of the Road to Dementia Town, in the shade of some trees and just enjoy. Have a Great Day, Love Ya, and God Bless.    

Sundowners came for a visit.

Sweetie and the Navy.
One in the same.

A good day is a day without blocking the front door. This is the second full summer of sundowners. Last year I was using sleeping aids in my attempts to soften sundowners, to slow the rolling thunder that came with it. No matter how much I read, watched, and talked with my support team, I still didn't know what I was, or could, should do. 

We had been having a good day. Memorial day, and having planned a lunch with the son and his family. I had pre-ordered lunch from the County Line BBQ Restaurant. We drove up, picked it up, and headed for the son's house. It was enjoyed by all. 

Good food, good conversation, talked about the boys, other family members, the non communication from the sisters, current events, and the excitement of their move. Sweetie kept her hand on my hand as we spent the time. 

There are little subtle changes with Sweetie that I've become aware of, and I knew our time was coming to an end. As we were saying our good byes, and heading out the door, she was asking which car was our car. This is another slip in her memory. She doesn't remember the car. Maybe it is something that is so much apart of her Dementia, that it will dawn on me, that part is gone. 

As the evening progressed, her friend Sundowners came for a visit. Knowing that her only way out into the neighborhood is through the front door, and I can block it so she doesn't get out. She yells at me about why she can't get out and I'm not helping her. 

She went to the back bedroom and came back with her Dumbo stuff animal and was clinging to it. I was so overjoyed that she had a comfort animal. I was able to apply some Stress lotion, and a dose of Hemp Oil, and we had a non eruptive evening after that. 

There is a tap on my shoulder, and its Driver. I don't know how He does it. Sometimes I can hear Him coming, and then there are the times when He just shows up. Enough for now, we have a new day ahead of us. Time for some alone time, on the Road to Dementia time. It is on these travels He calms me, instructs me, and encourages me for the day ahead. Off we go, I grabbing my cool sunglasses, while He opens the passenger door. In, buckled, and off we go, down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. You too, relax, enjoy your ride, as you head down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Take care, Love Ya and God Bless.  

Like a good wine, aged Kisses better with time

Kiss.

Not the youthful kiss of passion, it is now a kiss of love over the years. Now it is the eyes, that look at me with a knowledge that we are together. I feel that the love and passion that we had has morphed into that senior love of the ages. It is when she doesn't know who she is or where she is that the love language of fear comes out. It is the language of the heart, eyes, and words. It is then I get her "I love you." I know she means it, and I cherish those words when ever I hear them. 

Sweetie was up earlier then normal and when I heard her, I went up and greeted her. It was different for me to be there and to help her. She is still pretty good at getting up and finding me. There are mornings that she can dress herself fairly well. There are still the mornings that she wants to wear two pairs of jeans, only the jeans that bother me. If she puts two shirts on, that's OK, because she gets cold easily. Strange how it can be 85 or 90 degrees outside, and she is cold walking around in the heat. I keep her lite coat handy for those times. 

Today is Memorial Day, Day of Remembrance, of those who fought and as the saying goes, to those who served, "All gave some, and some gave their all." I come from a long line of men who served proudly. From the memory of the Grandfather, Uncle, Father, and my brother, who was awarded the Bronze Star for saving a fellow soldier under fire. Sweetie's father was a Master Chief during WWII, two of her brothers served, one a marine in county in Viet Nam, the other, like myself, a Navy Vet. Our grandson, who is currently serving in the Navy, I'd like to take time to honor all our vets. No matter where our loved ones served, to take up arms and be willing to stand in harms way, thank you.

We have a special day planned and we are going to spend most of it with the "Boys." Son, wife, and 3 grandsons. Getting BBQ from a local restaurant, curbside pickup, and just enjoy as much of the day as we can. Sweetie can't join in, so she will do her thing, and I'll spend as much time needed to help her. She is the measurement of when it is time to leave. 

Last night, after she had finished her dinner, and I went back for seconds, she wanted more. As she was eating, I have to coach her on taking the food on her fork and putting it into her mouth. Otherwise, she will keep trying to put more food on the fork and some will fall off, and she starts all over again. I also started to feed her, and she was very willing to let me do this. So, it appears that I'll soon be feeding her as that ability to feed herself is slipping away. 

I don't know how much traffic will be on the road today, I'm sure Driver has planned a route that has little traffic on it. I just hate traffic jams and so does my Driver. It is time to head out the door, as see just where we go as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town. It seems that we'll be heading for some new and unknown countryside today. I'm not worried because I know my Driver knows where we are going and how to get there. We are the one with the passenger with the cool sunglasses on and our Shiny Side Up. May your day be full of Easter Eggs as you to travel your route on your way to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Take Care, Love Ya, and God Bless.   

Bad Idea.

At the dentist.

As I sit here, going through my pictures of Sweetie, thinking of which one would be best for today. It hits me, it doesn't matter which one I pick, because it is for me. The memories that each one has, a push pin on a memory map. The pictures not only cress cross the years gone by, they stir up thoughts of what were, and I can hold them close to me. 

Yesterday, I heard Sweetie up, and I know she will soon come down and we will get our day going. Well, I'm going to have to change waiting on her, and I'm going to have to go up and see what she is doing.

When we went up to get ready, I found that she had taken her pullups out the drawer, and unfolded them, put them in a pile along with socks, a spare bra, and jeans. I didn't find her wet pullups that she had changed out of, and so far, still haven't. 

Yesterday was a shower day, and it was needed. Her bowls are soft and mushy, so it gets all over the place. I'm finding by using a bar of soap to softly wash her, she is more accepting then just my hand. I know that there is something going on in her mind about the shower and me washing her. I am continually telling her what I'm doing and that it is OK. Especially when I'm washing her privates. Telling her that I'm her husband and it is OK for me to touch her there. 

I'm still able to get her to get her hair wet and shampoo it. I've given up shaving her armpits and legs. So glad she has light hair, both color and quantity. As her husband, I do get some personal enjoyment in the shower with her. There is still a need to see her and remember. 

I tried to wean her off CBD and that wasn't a good idea. I didn't see it coming, just like a flash of lighting, she was there. Up and off the couch, needing to get outside to help her boys. Quickly gave her a dose of Hemp Oil, then the Stress Relief lotion, and she calmed down. 

When she had relaxed, we took a car ride out to a little bit of country. I'm thinking of a short couple of hours drive to the mountains, but am worried about her potty schedule. I get so frustrated with myself for I'm either getting her to the potty too late, or if we go, and nothing happens, sure as anything, 10, 15 minutes later, she is acting like something is wrong, and there it is, and here we are in the shower again. I look at it this way, she has the cleanest bottom in town. 

Sure, there are responsibilities I have to take care of, that is in anyone's life. I just have to choose if it is a problem or a chance to do good. I chose the later. Life with Sweetie is a challenge because she slips away a little at a time each day. So far this month, she has forgotten to use a dish towel to dry and put away the dishes. I just smile and guide.  

"Town, which town? Hey Driver, where are we going today?" A preview of the mountain pass? Or just on the Highway to Dementia Town? It doesn't matter to me, because I'm just a passenger on this trip. The more I listen to my Driver as I sleepily sit and have visions of what He is telling me, I get refreshed with some of an insight for the day. Life is lived one day at a time, and with me and my Driver, each day has Easter Eggs in them, and I find it is best to look for the Eggs then the poop in the pullups. Off we go, down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Care to make a caravan today? Just imagine our cars, driving down the Road, with all our Shiny Sides Up. Later, Love Ya and God Bless.  

Boredom is Good.

Having fun at Knott's.

Sometimes it is so frustrating. Then again, it is so comfortable that I forget to do the basics. Then again, I realize that boring is good. 

I like to watch documentaries about war and the victors that come out of it. Solders, pilots, sailors that survived the combat. One of the things that sounded the same, but in different words was this. War is boring, except for the battle, and then it is hell, confusing, and just trying to survive. Pilots that escorted bombers, solders waiting for the battle to begin, waiting for the enemy to attack, as with the sailors. War is just as much a waiting game as it is a shooting war. 

When it comes to caring for Sweetie, I should appreciate the waiting, the boring part of caring for her, for those are the good times later in my memory basket, where I store all my Easter Eggs. I have to have a transition, a pyridine shift in my attitude. Instead of waiting for the sun to go down, or the tale tale signs of her wanting to end her day, I should be grateful that we have been bless with a day of boredom. The days that sundowners doesn't show up, the days of just sitting on the couch outside, the walks to the same places day after day. The boredom that is life without all the crazies in it.

It is said to new parents about their first baby that the new child will teach them new things about themselves. I can say the same as I care of Sweetie. She is teaching me things that I never knew I could do. Things that as a young man and a young couple that would repulse me, or thing, I'd never do. Yet, as caregivers, we do those things, we bath, feed, and wipe bottoms without a second thought. Where before Dementia, the idea of sitting with your Sweetie while they go potty was unheard of. So, yes, I'm still learning, and one of the lessons I've just realized is "Boring is Good." 

One thing is a surety, life with my Driver if anything is not boring. For He shows me things that make my ability to accept the boring. It is in the boring that the flowers bloom, the humming birds come to the feeder, the lizards climb the wall, and Sweetie and I just sit. He is the grand Teacher of how exciting boring is. He is here and I am ready to move out. Let me see, just where did I put my cool sunglasses. There they are, gotta go, see you on the Road to Dementia Town. You know us, we're the one going not to fast or to slow, our own pace, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. You know, even on a great adventure, there is boring, like driving down the Road to Dementia Town, the most important thing is, you gotta Keep your Shiny Side Up. Take care, Love Ya, and God Bless.   

Reasonably Happy.

Knott's Berry Farm.

In my morning meditation and prayer time, there is a line in one of my prayers that always drags me back to a position of gratitude. It is simply this. "That I maybe reasonably happy in this life." One word that will set or reset my heart for the day. 

As a husband taking care of his wife as we travel the Road to Dementia Town, it would be easy to feel sorry for myself, to get bogged down in the daily "stuff" that is part of my life as I care of her. My whole life and attitudes have been turned on their heads. 

Is it because of my attitude that makes Sweetie easy to be with? Or is my attitude making me aware that what I am doing, I am also fulfilling the laws of love? 

I'm alone now in these early morning hours, pondering what will I do later today, on how we are going to get through the next waking day. Earlier in her disease, we could plan trips, drive to places and enjoy the sights of where we were. Over the years those simple pleasures are vanishing. 

I told my daughter, that when this lock down is done, I'm coming out and buying steaks for all and her husband can b-b-que them. I so miss having a complete adult meal. Everything I cook is either soft, or in bit size portions. Does that make sense? It does to me. 

Yesterday, another day of easy living. Our routine is pretty much set, Sweetie is up, breakfast, out to the golf course, play a round, home for lunch, a little TV, then around 3 out for a walk, home, dinner, TV, and to bed. For today, we will repeat from the day before. Mundane as it sounds, it gets the day done, and we are reasonably happy this way. Reasonably happy is the key for me to maintain sanity for me. What most do not see, and I'm one of them, is the surprises that await us in this boring life style.

He is here, and I am ready. My Driver just pulled into the driveway and I need to see what He has planned for the day. Even though we ride together everyday, it is never boring, or lacking in anyway. Life is a mystery, just look at me, never would I have thought of sharing all with you, as we Drive the Road to Dementia Town together, either side by side or as a caravan. Easter Eggs to be found as we go, Keeping our Shiny Sides Up. As always, you too, Keep your Shiny Side Up and we will finish this trip together. Love Ya and God Bless.  

Dementia's never ending story.

Who's that? My love, who else.

Yesterday was a day of joy. I don't know why, it was like many of the days we've had in the past, yet for some reason, it was just "nice". 

I didn't have to look hard to find the Easter Eggs that were out there. Things like, deciding to get Sweetie up, and as I headed up the stairs, guess who was coming down? Breakfast outside, watching the sun go up, and the birds flittering around the feeders. Then back inside for our morning hygiene routine, where Sweetie was very cooperative. I shave her chin every morning and if I don't her whiskers get just that much longer that she will complain when I shave her. Take vitamins, cranberry extract, and watch her take them. I have a feeling that there may arrive a time when she won't be able to swallow her pills. So, I keep a close eye on her as she takes them. 

One of the biggest sweet time we had was after our walk. We went out and sat on the couch with a glass of ice water, and Sweetie began her never ending story about the boys, God, and her leading the boys to God. We sat together as she talked and talked, like I said the never ending story, for about 45 minutes. I held her hand, and she spoke softly to me, as I catnapped, and her invisible audience about her adventure. I only broke in to show her a humming bird had stopped at a feeder. I was so nice. Special Easter Egg. 

Driver knows what I'm talking about. I feel that He arranges days like this for my heart health. My Driver isn't just a driver, He is also my emotional Heart physician. He knows that I can't give away what I don't have. So, He makes sure that my love for Sweetie is being renewed on a daily basses. For if it wasn't, it would run dry and I couldn't find those Love Easter Eggs, which are the currency for refilling my Love tank. Speaking of my Driver, He's at the door, peeking in and seeing if I'm ready. "Yes Sir, I'm ready". Off we go, me, I'm wearing one of my Hawaii shirts, which only accent my cool sunglasses as we motor down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Wacha you wearing today? Something that shouts "I'm happy"? Something that lifts your spirits as you travel with me down the Road to Dementia Town, as you keep your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, Take care and God Bless.         

The explosion of sundowners.

Sweetie and Tweetie.

With the explosion of sundowners the night before, last night was a nice as it could be. The more I live through the nights when Mr. Sundowners shows and then for the next few nights there is a calmness just seems to confirm the assessment that sundowners cannot completely be arrested. Like a caged monster, it has to get out no matter what. 

When sundowners takes over and I don't let her out of the house, she is like a pacing Tiger, going from door to door, looking for an escape, not understanding why I won't let her out, the hallucinations of people that she needs to help is so strong that if not let out, it drives her to lash out at me. With the help of TCB and Stress Relief lotion, won't stop it, but it will shorten the outburst. I know the tale tale signs of sundowners burn out, and just wait. Soon that little girl will show up, and be sorry for what has happened, even though she has not idea of what we just went through.     

I've bumped up against a new situation. The last couple of times out on the course, Sweetie has wet herself. I've attempted to have her sit on the potty before we leave the house, to no avail. She won't go. There is only one porta potty on the course, that is difficult to use. I am going to bring fresh pull ups and maybe a change of pants. I also chosen to take a golf cart instead of walking. She seems to be over much of the jitters she had last year riding in the cart. I also talk to her and drive slow to avoid the bumps that are naturally on the course. Yesterday, one of the grounds keepers was talking to her about being in a cart. People know her, which makes it nice for her. 

Yesterday was windy, so we didn't do much walking, just stayed in the backyard which seem to keep her happy. How she just sits and watches, and her world is at peace within her. When she is at peace with her world, it make for a Easter Egg. I can cat nap with the calm that she isn't going anywhere. 

Now where is He? My Driver is usually here early to urge me to finish and get the day started. Ok, there He is, pulling into the driveway now. Just to be sure, there were Easter Eggs galore yesterday, which means I'm getting better at finding them. Wonder where they will be today. I have no fear, my Driver will direct my heart and eyes to find them. Let see if I can race Driver to the car? Set, Go! The race is one. Out the door, cool sun glasses on, and into the car, and who is waiting for me, yep, Driver. Smiling as we head out, down the Road to Dementia Town, listening to the radio, singing along with the tunes, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Its easy, if you like you can follow us, as you Keep your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, and God Bless. 

Dementia, making a smaller world for us.

This is the Lady of my Heart.

There are mornings that seem like, I'm stuck, what should I say, how to begin. One of the things I've learned is to just start. I've been looking at the picture I've attached to this days entry. It was are first and only time to California Country next to Disneyland. Sweetie was still able to carry on a simple conversation at that time, and we enjoyed ourselves. Sweetie was never much a rider of thrilling rides, ie rollercoasters, so much of our time was walking and looking. We would take the gentler slower rides and that was enough for her. I didn't know that I was capturing memories back then. Or finding Easter Eggs for the future. 

Our world has grown small since that day in California. The fact that she is now so dependent on me is a place that seemed to arrive slowly, yet suddenly. For as Dementia progresses, and takes away something, I just by the nature of caregiving, replace it with something of mine. Our meals have changed from food on plates, to bowels, from forks and knives, to spoons. I know there will be the coming of me feeding her. 

We played golf yesterday, and even with me getting her to drink water and Gatorade, she still had a fainting episode. I'm going to try a cart today, I hope it works. Daycare is still shut down for another month, they say two weeks. We're in a blue state, and the governors of blue states are doing everything they can not to open. I'm betting June at the earliest, if that.

To top the day off, sundowners had a sneak attack last night. I really think that I can only hold off sundowners for a short while. Then it builds up and boils over. As long as I can keep Sweetie in the house or backyard so she cannot get out and terrorize the neighborhood, we're doing fine. I can take the yelling, and tears inside, but to let her walk, that is a different story. 

What my Driver has taught me, is this, don't let one event in the day ruin my Easter Egg hunt. If I let the horrors of sundowners denominate my reflection on the day, I'll never find the Easter Eggs that were there for me during the day. 

Driver is right, and He knows that, and here He is now. Looks like I'm going to have a treat today. He's got a bottle of water and a small cake for me to refresh myself with as we go down the Road to Dementia Town. Driver and me, two cool cats, Him with His huge smile, and me with my cool sunglasses on, down the road we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Don't let one event, like a flat tire, ruin your drive, as you travel the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Well, TTFN, Love Ya and God Bless. 

Take memories as they come.

Hawaii, July 2017.

I had retired on June 30, 2017 and we were on a plane to Hawaii July 1, 2017. I wanted to be there for the 4th of July, to watch the fireworks over the ocean, to make this a special time for Sweetie and myself, to make memories because I knew the time was slipping by, that soon she wouldn't have the ability to even remember me, let alone her lost trip to Hawaii. 

That time is here, now. She doesn't know who I am, that we've been married for 34 years, and it is only her fears of not knowing what she thinks she should know that allow those precious word to come forth. I'm sure she doesn't know what "I love you." means anymore, it is just comforting for her to say it and I rejoice in hearing them. 

We were busy yesterday, spent quite a bit of time outside, sitting on the couch again and in silence watching nature play out for us. There are times when I think I should be doing something in the yard. Raking, pulling weeds, something. And then again, just the simple pleasure of Sweetie sitting next to me, holding my hand is enough for me. The yards will always be there, Sweetie, I don't know, so I'll take the memories as they come. 

Memories, and as I mention memories, guess who shows up? It's Driver. And as always, He has a smile on His face, that tells me, He is ready and waiting for me. The morning is upon us and it is time, time to go, time to hit the Road to Dementia Town, time to gather Easter Eggs and reflect on where they were. Sometimes they need a time to show up, and that is where my Driver comes in. He knows where to look, to direct my attention to see them. Off we go, out the door, with my Hawaii shirt on, my cool sunglasses, and into the passenger seat. Love the time with Him, as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. I just hope you are finding your way, as you to Drive with Your Shiny Side Up. Have a wonderful day, Love Ya and God Bless.  

On the edge of hydration and dehydration

Queen of my Heart.

We sit quietly, just watching, there isn't anything special to look at, just watching. To see a movement to draw our eyes, we watch. It could be a bird, a lizard climbing up the wall, so we watch it. There is movement in the tree to our left, we look to see a sparrow, or a finch, a dove, flittering to a branch. We watch in silence, at the same time knowing we are together. Suddenly there is a blur, and a humming bird streaks to "his" feeder to fend off another hummer from the feeder and off they go. 

Here to, I find myself taking cat naps. When I wake up, I look over and see that Sweetie is watching me, or she doesn't even know I was asleep. What I fear is she will be gone when I wake up. So far she seems just content to sit here and watch. She gets excited when she see jet contrails. She has no concept of what they are except they are moving across the sky and she likes them. Because of her joy of watching them, I too, am on the lookout for them. She also gets excited when a jet passes overhead, either in take off or landing at the airport. It seems anything in the air grabs her attention. 

I'm starting to take her right to the potty when she gets up. I don't know which is worse, a full pullup, or not peeing at all. I'm more aware of her bladder emptying more so since her fainting on the golf course. Milk and soda just don't do the same as water. Thank you for your suggestions, and yes, I try them. I think she is living on the edge of hydration and dehydration. I've watch her on our walks on how just making her drink two large gulps of water while we're out, and as if a flower was put into a vase of water, she will be lifted up and start acting refreshed. Of course it doesn't last long, because she isn't fully hydrated, and quickly becomes fatigue. 

One of the things on my wish list is that the malls will be open soon. Not that I don't enjoy the walking outside, in the summer, it is all good. It is when the weather turns cold. If there isn't anyplace to go and walk, I just won't know what to do. Bundle up, will be the order of the day. 

Did my famous scrambled hamburger and Mac and Cheese for dinner last night. Sweetie was doing her "I don't know how to do it." routine when I looked over and her portion was gone. I was surprised as hell to see how quickly she ate it. I love the dish. Easter Egg. 

Tap, tap, tap, what's that, oh, its you. Driver is at the door way, looking with a look that is asking the question, "are you done yet?". He is a gentleman, and at the same time a pushy gentleman. I know He is eager to get on the road, to share with me, ask about my Easter Egg hunt and how it went. He always has His ears attentive to what I have to say. That smile when we share joy, and that comforting hand when I'm scared and worried about Sweetie. My Driver does it all, and He does it as He is driving the car down the Road to Dementia Town and Keeping our Shiny Side Up. I just hope your driver encourages you too. As you drive down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, have a great day and God Bless.  

Yesterday, Why she had to go, she would not say.

A day with flowers.

The Beatle's song "Yesterday" "Why she had to go, she would not say." Melancholy is a word that might be used today. Strange how a word or thought suddenly pops up, and has a totally different meaning. As I was writing, I stopped and looked at a video of Paul singing Yesterday. Simple words yet, so strong in how I feel. "There's a shadow hanging over me." Just what is that shadow? You and I know what it is, it is the certainty that we are loosing that which we loved so much and like life, there isn't anything we can do. 

This morning I was thinking about just what I can control. The thought of a plant, a growing and flowering plant. I can plant it, and after that I can only water, prune, and watch. I can't force the roots to grow, or the leaves to spread, or even keep the bugs off it, I just do not have any ability to do any of that. 

So, I sit and watch, I walk, I feed, I wipe, and I sleep with that which I cannot do anything about. I can't stop it, I cannot put back that which is gone, all I can do is be kind and see that kindness reflected back to me. 

We had such a Easter Egg day yesterday. Some of the Eggs were, breakfast, walking the golf course, just sitting in the backyard watching the humming birds and sparrows. Seeing Sweetie getting excited while watching jets stream across the sky. Or, seeing her sit quietly just looking as the wonder of nature opening up to her. 

Of course, Driver knows all about that. He's the one that makes it all possible. He's the one who puts the puzzle together. I love it when He will shuffle His foot to draw my attention to an Easter Egg's hiding place. I know I couldn't make this trip without Him. He's the only Driver that knows the way to Dementia Town, He's the one with the map and knows the best route to take. It may not be the easiest, but it is the best. He's here now and with that it's time for me to grab my cool sunglasses, and head for the car. He's got the door open and in I go, buckling up, and being breathless, off we go. Me in the passenger seat, Driver behind the wheel, down the Road to Dementia Town we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Someone is pulling up next to us, is that you? Looking good with your Shiny Side Up. Later, Love Ya, and God Bless.   

The Future is now planned.

On the Carousel at Knott's Berry Farm.

Yesterday was Pizza day with the kids and grandkids. I tell you it is a joy when we go and visit. For the cost of two pizzas, the company is will worth the price of admission. This time up, I had some things that I wanted to sort out with the son and his wife. 

With the knowledge that there is a chance that Sweetie may survive me, I wanted to make sure plans were in place to take care of her if that was to happen. We spent some time discussing what my desires were, how to finance her stay, and I was so pleased that they understood and were more than willing to step up and take care of her. 

We are a blended family and there is distance, both physically and emotionally between all the members of our families. My daughters are 1300 miles away, but close to me and Sweetie. Her daughters are 20 miles from us, and we don't see them at all. The only son is the one that has over the years has been the closest. It just seemed so natural to ask and their response came without any hesitation.

When we moved from California to New Mexico, and her kids came like later. I told Sweetie that the move for the boy was the best thing he ever did. Forgive me, but I'm going to brag on our son. From a boy that barely graduated from high school to having a masters in business, I'd say that was a good move. In a couple of days, they will be celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary, and that is something good again. 

I blew it last night, but I'll say it wasn't my fault. After we arrived home from our outing, we took a walk, and settled in for the evening. I was watching the clock on the wall, and at the same time putting on shows that Sweetie can get joy from. When she was acting like her sundowners was coming on, I thought another walk was being called for. But when I went in the kitchen and noticed the clock on the stove, it was her bed time. The clock on the wall had stopped and I didn't notice it. Up, put in a new battery, then off to bed. It was a good day, from up to down, a good day. 

Sometimes those fears of the future can wear you down, and my Driver knows that. He is here every morning, making Himself known to me, and waiting for me to give Him my utmost attention so I can learn and refresh myself on our trips to Dementia Town. Riding with Him can be like a rollercoaster or a slow, smooth ride in the country. He knows that way, and I trust Him to get me there safely. Speaking of my Driver, He's here, and I'm off for another day of Easter Egg hunt as we drive down to Road to Dementia Town. Me with my cool sunglasses on, Driver at the wheel, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. May you have a good day as you travel down your Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. TTFN (Ta Ta For Now) Love Ya and God Bless.     

Lunch, point and eat.

So many pictures of us on the beach.

As Dementia takes over Sweetie and all her abilities that came with her personality, I just assumed many duties. One of which was the photographer. I always love to take pictures to the point that I tried my hand at taking wedding pictures. Just to stressful. When selfies became popular and smart phones became cameras, it became easy. I'm so glad that I have as many pictures of Sweetie and me to choose from. 

After the near disaster on the golf course the other day, we returned to the scene of the crime. This time to meet with a friend and hit a bucket of balls. When we do this, I bring a chair for Sweetie to sit in. She likes doing this because of all the right reasons. Number one, she is with me, and she just has to seat. She is the pro and gives me a smile when she thinks I hit a good shot. 

Lunch is turning into a point and eat routine. I'll make sandwiches for us and when we are eating, she will tell me she doesn't know how to do it. So, I found out, if I point out a beginning place to eat the sandwich and she takes a bite, from there I'll point out the next bite and then the next, until the sandwich is gone. It is a fun game for both of us. Since I found out she likes the little cups of apple sauce, they are now a main stay with our lunch. She used to be able to open it by herself, now I have to do it for her. You know they have the containers that are squeezable apple sauce, that maybe next. 

For you gummy fans, it isn't working for Sweetie. I've been giving her Cranberry supplements to help keep UTI away. When I went to buy a replacement, all that was left were gummies, and she doesn't understand about chewing them. Back to the drawing board. 

When we went for our afternoon walk, it was a longer walk then I had planned. Took a water bottle with us, Gatorade and water. As we were walking, I could tell she wasn't doing as well as I know she could, and just like that, a friend we know was just coming out of his home heading to pick up his mail. Asked if we could come in and get a glass of water and to let Sweetie rest. Of course we could, and we did. 

Refreshed, we headed back out made a bee line home. Sweetie was fading fast. When we got home, she went straight to bed. Crashed and burned right there. She came back in about an hour and we finished our day without anything worthy to report. 

Today is Pizza Day with the kids and their kids. I want to talk to them about caring for their mom. Her son is the only one that is taking any interest in her health, and I've begun to worry about if I get sick, or have an accident or die while she is still with me. This is very heavy on my heart, so, I need to address it with him. 

Some mornings are exhausting, and I can't wait for my Driver to show up and stick His head in the door way, enticing me to join Him. Relax He says, for He will be with me all day long. Life's highway is a journey that should be enjoyed, and that is way we spend the day together. He is more than willing to point out the panoramic view, pull off to the side of the road to rest, knowing that we are on the Road to Dementia Town, pacing ourselves as we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. If you need rest, you too can pull off the road, find a shady spot, lean back and take a nap. The Road to Dementia Town will be waiting for you to return. So enjoy the ride as long as you can. Seeking out Easter Eggs where they are hidden. Wave as you go bye, I'll know you because you will have your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, God Bless.   

    

Experience: that most brutal of teachers.

Nose to nose with a rose. 

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But

 you learn, my God do you learn.” C. S. Lewis. 

The demon Dementia has a secondary spirit and is more frightening then its master. The demon of De-hydration. How insidious it can be. It will strike at the most unpredictable times. Dementia will fight the intake of liquids at almost anytime. The most devastation part is the timing of when it shows its ability to disorientate and disable their host. 

We had a bout with De-hydration yesterday while out playing gold. I always keep an eye on Sweetie where ever we go. I sometimes feel like a walking monitor, watching for any sigh of something that may not be right showing up and it did yesterday on the last hole of the course. I had noticed that something just wasn't right, she was breathing heavier then normal, so I got out my bottle of Gatorade and tried to get her to drink. De-hydration was working hard to have a grandstanding performance and wouldn't let Sweetie drink. What little she did drink only postponed the inevitable. We had gotten to the last tee, and as I was talking with the other players, down she went. This wasn't my first experience with De-hydration, so I didn't panic. 

We had a cart come out and get us and take us to our car. I got her home and in bed, when she woke up, all was better. Damn, De-hydration is so sneaky. I thought I'd been giving Sweetie plenty of liquids, I was wrong. Going to have to hydrate her today. 

Easter Eggs, I got her into some new sweat pants and she likes them. Woo Hoo! And on that same day, the new shoes I'd ordered showed up. She put them on, and she likes those also. A double Woo Hoo. 

This morning, while me and my Driver were talking, He showed me something old but new. Mathew 25, it was this. Asking when did we do these things? He answered, to the lest of these, you did it unto me. I saw Sweetie all over that answer, the sick, the lonely, the one in prison, the hungry. That hit my heart, and I know she is all of those, and this is my yoke and I take it on willingly. A big Easter Egg. Well, it seems that I almost have a full basket, but there  is room for more. On the road we go. While my Driver is skillfully navigating the highways and byways, I've got my head out the window, eagerly looking for more Easter Eggs that I know are there, as we drive the Road to Dementia Town, me with my cool sunglasses on, depending on my Driver to get us where we are suppose to be, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. If your Solo on this road, be careful that you don't lose your way as you Drive with Your Shiny Side Up. God Bless, Love Ya.      

Dementia doesn't like the rain.

At the Beach again.

Yesterday was a different day because of showers, and Dementia doesn't like the rain. When it comes to the weather, there is a very small amount of variation that Dementia will allow. If the wind is blowing, not good, if it is too cold, again, not good. I'm waiting for a good thunder and lighting storm to hit. I'm sure that will have Dementia climbing the walls. 

Because I have some TV shows that I like to watch and I know Sweetie cannot watch, I made the decision to try and watch them, until Sweetie wakes us. That is how we started the day. It seemed to go well, until she woke up and came down stairs. Nothing violent was going on, and a scene about some girls being released just triggered her. Just never know what will allow Dementia to turn the key of response. She ended up going back to bed for some about an hour. 

We went to the golf course so I could play and she could walk. That didn't end well, it started raining, and that put an end to that. 

After changing clothes, which was another fun event. Trying to get Dementia to change into dry clothes seem like not a good idea to her. But we got dry clothes on. 

Tried to do a walk around the block, and sprinkles started, headed back home again. 

All is not lost, for we did have a good evening and dinner. I'm making meals as simple as I can. The idea to make mash potatoes and mix the meat and vegetables in with the potatoes has been a great success. She doesn't have to look at different food groups in her bowel, just the mound of mash potatoes, with a spoon and just a few questions on how to eat, the are soon gone from the bowel. Yea!!

Yesterday was a day of choices. My biggest choice was how to make Sweetie comfortable during the day. What happened was a day with an Easter Egg waiting for me at the end. When we went to bed, and she curled up and slept, peacefully. That, my friends, was an Easter Egg well worth waiting for. 

Its time, and I can hear my Driver coming in the front door. Its OK, I gave Him the Keys to my house along time ago, He's welcome anytime. You know what that means? Time to hit the Road to Dementia Town. We are going to talk about yesterday, and what I learned. He never gives test, just watches and sees if I can apply the lessons I've learned. Got my cool sunglasses in one hand, and hat in the other as I slide into the passenger's seat, buckled up and off we go. Driver and me, down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. That goes for you too, keep yourself buckled up and you drive, or do you have a Driver who can do the driving for you, as you head out, down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up.     

A day of Easter Eggs.

At the Grand Canyon for our Anniversary. 

Thank you for the Anniversary messages, they are precious to me. 

I'm happy, yet again, I'm sad because we didn't do this sooner. When we went to the Grand Canyon for our 30th Anniversary, Sweetie's Dementia was just starting to affect our daily lives. There were so many sites that I want to show her and could not. She was starting to build that wall between normal and Dementia crazies. We have pictures, we have mementoes, and she can't remember any of it. 

Yesterday, Sweetie, for what ever reason, was up 2 hours earlier than normal. We got our day off by going for a long walk after breakfast. Spent time watching birds come to the feeders, watching the clouds, and now that some restrictions have been lifted, jet contrails. She like them because, I think, she can see the movement of the jet across the sky. I tell her that they are sky writers, and she likes that.

I thought it would be a good day to get Tweetie out and go for a drive. Put the top down and took off. I soon realized that the weather was too cool for her, so we put the top back up. I know a road that is about 35 miles of country, so we headed for it. Down a around the country side we went. Honking at a train, which honked back. We were gone for about an hours. There were times that I wanted to put my foot into it, but if I did, it would scare her and ruin our outing. Lets face it, I'm making memories for later and I don't want a memory ruined by my childness of bad driving. 

Because she was up earlier than normal, she wanted to go back to bed sooner than normal. I had to gentle nudge her into staying up. As a reward, I made a cholate banana ice cream sundae for us. She, as she devoured it, kept telling me she didn't know what how to do it. I was so happy with the way it disappeared.

Driver had prepared me for yesterday, and I was glad He did. Putting the good report of Easter Eggs ahead was a double joy. Easter Eggs, the whole day, the drive, the walking, the ice cream, and just a hint of sundowners. What is on the roster for today, I have no idea, this I do know, I will spend the time with my Driver as we travel the Road to Dementia Town. Each day with some replays from the past, and new adventures ahead. And, as always, Keeping our Shiny Side Up as we go. Hey, that goes for you, may your day be sprinkled with Easter Egg dust from the past, and new and exciting adventures for today, as we both travel the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, and God Bless. 

Sundowners short-circuited.

Today is our 34th wedding anniversary.

34 years ago, Sweetie and I started to share the same lei together. I remember the fun we had on our wedding day. It was in the backyard of one of Sweetie's friends home. We had a Hawaiian them. Gary, my best man, and I wore causal Hawaiian shirts, Sweetie and your Maid of Honor wore Hawaiian dresses, and the guest were encouraged to add to the event by wearing something that was Hawaiian. Such memories that I haven't thought of until now. 

I really need to hang onto those memories, for they are now mine to remember and to share. Sweetie just cannot remember them, 34 years ago, let alone which is our home when we return from our walks. I am always pleasantly pleased when we return and she, for whatever reason, knows it is the place we need to be at. 

Something that is subtle and if you did not notice it, it wouldn't make a hill of beans difference. Simple things like holding the door open so she can go into the house first. She has forgotten that little social grace. I now have to tell her to go ahead of me or she then waits and follows. 

Yesterday, we did our morning walk, over 2 miles, and sat in the back yard watching the birds, something that she can do and enjoy. Even if there aren't that many birds, she is just happy to sit outside. Overall, I found many Easter Eggs during the day. Who would of thought that sitting outside would be a place to find Easter Eggs. On the couch, holding hands, waiting for nature to happen, and we are never disappointed. 

Later in the day, sundowners tried to make an appearance and I was able to short-circuit it as it was grabbing Sweetie's mind. A dose of Hemp Oil, and out the door for a walk. I knew we might be in trouble because she didn't want to hold my hand. 

Handholding is a big indicator as to how her sundowners is taking over her personality. The next level is when she isn't holding my hands, she starts eyeing doors. Thankfully she didn't find any. There were some people in their driveways and we stopped and chatted with them. Met a young lady who used to work at a memory facility, and after giving her one of my cards, she brightened up to Sweetie, and just chatted with her. It was wonderful how my Driver puts these people in our travels. 

He's here and has the map out. He's been looking for different routes to Dementia Town, so we don't get bored with seeing the same old scenery. Because it is our wedding anniversary, He's looking for a scenic route. I'm excited, because everyday with Him at the wheel, I can always relax knowing I've got the best Driver Ever. He just knows how to drive, avoiding things that I never see, and as always, He keeps the Shiny Side Up, no matter what route we take to Dementia Town. May you too have new scenery on your Drive to Dementia Town, as you keep your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, God Bless.     

Sundowners sneak attack.

Strawberry Funnel Cake At
Knott's Berry Farm.

I love her smile, it was one of the things that drew me to her. When she would smile, no matter what is going on, I feel good, like some burden was taken away. Even now, when we are out walking, or sitting on the couch outside, or just anywhere, when she gives me one of her heart filled smile, it goes to where I need it the most.  

Yesterday wasn't as good as it could have been. The winds were up, so we didn't get in the walking that we should of done. There is a direct correlation with walking, CBD and sundowners. I thought we had balanced her activities and Hemp Oil to keep sundowners away. We did not. 

I was surprised when she quickly took a look down the hall and said she had to go and do whatever the crazies were telling her to do. She seemed like a pacing tiger when I was hoping a walk would help. She eyed one house then another and I had to stop her at a door, thankfully it was locked. One lady talked with her for awhile, and she seemed like she was on the downside of her sundowners. 

Once I had her back home, it started back up again. This time I wouldn't let her out of the house. She wailed, and moaned about what she had to do. Finally, she went up stairs and went to bed. She wanted me to go with her, I didn't, and stayed down stairs, waiting for her to come and sit with me as her sundowners drained off. When she didn't come down, I went up to check on her, she was asleep, so I let her sleep and watch TV, alone, and it was nice. 

I know that my Driver will show me the Easter Eggs from yesterday as we sit and talk. There are times when He watches the road so intensely that I wonder if He hears me. And just like that, I hear His voice and all is well. Even in the darkest of days, I know all I have to do is call His name, and help is on the way. He is never far off, and the car is always ready for me to get into, buckle up, put on my cool sunglasses, as we motor down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Remember, when the sun comes up, it is a new morning with new adventures waiting. So, keep your eyes on the road, as you drive, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. So long for now, Love Ya, and God Bless.  

Wind, sandwich, and shredded lettuce.

Tucson Squadron Reunion, 2012.

The wind kick up yesterday afternoon, we had finished playing another round of golf and finished what little grocery shopping we had to do. I had made our lunch, bologna sandwiches with pickle and applesauce, when we went outside, Sweetie didn't like the wind so we went back inside to watch TV and eat. I tried something new, I shredded the lettuce to see how she would accept it. Not a good idea. Being shredded, it would fall out of the sandwich and that would cause her to fixate on the lettuce out of the sandwich, which would get her confused as to how to eat the sandwich. I've learned that if I point out a part of the sandwich to eat and tell her to take a bit here, she would, and then on to the next bit and so on until the sandwich is gone. Cutting the sandwich in half has two possibilities, the first is two pieces and if she is having problems with the sandwich, ie part of it falling out, or being squeezed, something isn't just perfect, she won't want to eat the second half. I've learn to be firm with her and have her eat it. Second is there is too much for her to eat. That is handled the same way, be firm and insist that she eats the sandwich. 

She dearly loves the applesauce, the problem is the covering. She can get so wrapped up with the removal of the covering to the point of loosing what she is doing and forget to eat the sauce. I'm always keeping a watchful eye on her, because she will with one hand have the container and with the other reach for a scrap of something and start to spill what ever is in the other hand. Lunch is becoming a wonderful event. I'm just happy that she is eating. 

Because of the wind, we were not able to do a long walk in the evening, so I tried something a little different. Where we live, our neighborhood is built in a oval. With only one way in and out, so we can walk this oval just by itself. Found out it was about a quarter of a mile by lap, which I had always thought it was. Ran track in high school and it reminded me of the time I did some distant running. Sweetie was getting irritable watching TV, so we did a couple of laps and it worked. She was calm and we had the rest of the evening enjoyably watching until bed time. 

Bed time doesn't have the same meaning that it used to. Now it is checking her pullups to see if she is dry, making sure she is sleeping on her pad, got her jammies on, and then to sleep. I miss the kisses and tight hugs and feeling her against me. 

In one of my daily prayers, there is the line I have learned to shape my world around, "That I maybe reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with You, forever in the 
next." By saying that daily, I can look at my Driver and tell Him, "Ya, with all that is happening with us, I am reasonable happy." He tells me that without the sad, how would I ever know what happy is. He is so right. When He is driving, and I don't have a care in the world, I'm happy. When there are problems, He is there to remind me, that this too will pass, and I find myself measuring against the good stuff, and it isn't so bad after all. And it does pass. Just like the scenery outside the car, as we drive down the Road to Dementia Town. My Driver and me, with the cares of the world blowing off me and out the window and feeling refreshed. Relaxed in knowing that my Driver will keep us headed in the right direction, as He keeps our Shiny Side Up. Hey, is that you? Nice ride, and ya, your Shiny Side is Up, too. Take care, love ya and God Bless.