Reunion day 2

Day 2

Doing well on day 2. I'm having a great time with my daughters and making new friends. If things go right, it looks like I will have some new places to travel. 

Friday

It is our day for the Aviation Museum. Our guide was quick to walk, and he ended up leaving most of the crew behind. I think he was on a time schedule and wanted to get in as much as he could.

At the end, there was a dedication ceremony turning HC-7 history over to the Pensacola Air Museum. So, we will be a official display because of what we did. 

It appears that we are going to have some showers coming our way. So after our return, it was time to walk on the beach with Sweetie. Youngest isn't having a very good time of it, so it is just me and my oldest. 

Damn these old legs. It was a difficult time waking on the soft sand,  but we made it. The wet sand was easier to walk on. We walked out into the choppy surf to a place that seemed right. Said my farewells again, promising to see her again, opened the container, and let her be one with the gulf. 

Back to the hotel, and to my room, awaiting dinner time. We had reservation for a large group at a restaurant that we ate at on the first night. It was so much fun. Eating, chatting, laughing ( I haven't laugh so much in years!). Every time, after the dinner, I would head for my room to call it a day and then I would end up down in the lobby, find someone to sit and talk with for awhile. Then get caught by my daughter, "Didn't you say you were going to bed?" 

This was a great day Driver and me spent together. Food, fun and laughter were the orders of the day. As we traveled this Road to Life, and we definitely had our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.

Warriors, each and everyone.

 Me and my girls.

My whole life is new. As you can see, these are my daughters and we are out having dinner together. I'm going to be spending the next 4 days with them. What is nice is, if I don't want to be with them, they understand. What a blessing they are. 

I'm still, and will be for how ever long it takes, in mourning. While were at lunch, I was ambushed by a thought of Sweetie, and the tears flowed. It was a warm feeling of loss, and a reminder of how much I loved her and now miss her. 

Thursday

If you didn't notice, I didn't post yesterday. A very good reason, I over slept. At the end of day, Wednesday, I feel into bed, completely exhausted from the day, from the drive, from the wait for my girls to arrive, and that everything went well. To the point that when I got into the elevator, I exhaled "Finally." Got to my room, and fell to sleep, and slept. 

I woke up, and just didn't have to time to post. 

To wrap it all up, check in, came down and started to mix with men that I don't remember questions like "Do you remember...." or "Where were you when so and so did...." It was a moving conversation buffet. Didn't like this one, just move over to another table, group, and sit and swap stories again. 

My oldest wanted to take pictures of the "Welcome to Pesacola" sign, and so we walked to it. The conversation along the way provoked a discussion of how far "it isn't that far" is.

                                 , 

With some effort, we made it. Then on the way back had lunch, and refreshed ourselves. 

Got back to hotel and there was a meet and greet, and conversation flowed like water over smooth stones. Men, not officers and enlisted, men who shared that which only those who knew about it. Warriors, each and everyone. Telling stories that only warriors can tell. Even you weren't there, you were able to know what it was. 

At the end of the day, Driver was always there, standing in the background, watching. He set this up for me. We work as a team, He leads, I follow. This time is special, so we stop to enjoy it. For after all, we are on the Road of Life, where we keep our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur 

Good Old Boys.

Sweetie and flowers, they just went together.

Greetings from Lafayette, Louisiana, next stop, Pensacola. That is where I'll meet up with my daughters, and the rest of the crew. 

 So far, there have been some fun spots, like learning how to get through some of the intersections of freeway. Only getting lose now and then. Learning to turn down the radio as to be able to listen to the voice prompts along with the visual aids. Helps really, really well.

Tuesday

We got separated on the way here, and I ended up pulling off the highway to wait for my friends to catch up with me, also a good time for a body break, if you know what I mean. 

The hotel was next to a Popeye chicken restaurant, and so we walked over and got some dinner. Brought it back to the hotel, sat in the lobby and had dinner. Talked about what we are going to do in the morning.

 Pensacola isn't that far from where we are, so we won't be on the road very long, which means we will have time on our hands. If we get there too soon, we may not be able to check in. So, what to do. Will figure that and it will be what it will be.

Saving the best for last. After we ate, I headed for a meeting. If this wasn't a movie, I'd say the script was written for one. The meeting place was a half hour away, and it was a men's only meeting. Navigating to the meeting place, I went through some, how can I say this, rough area of town. It was as if I was transported into a movie, where I was in a place that I didn't fit in well. Me and Tweety stood out like sore thumbs. 

I did find the meeting place, a old run down house, with 4 men on the front porch. Pulled in, asked if this was the place, and they said yes. 

It was like no other meeting I've been to before. Imagine an old movie with a bunch of "Good Old Boys" sitting around tables, reading out of the Big Book, one paragraph at a time, and expanding on it. It was wonderful. They were so happy to have a new voice in the conversation, and I was drawn into their world. 

When I talked about Sweetie's passing, one of the men was struck by my telling of my story. He had lost his wife, and for years was angery and could not grieve. His anger wouldn't let him process it. 

We talked, and shared our pain, it was as if I was suppose to be there, that night, that time. 

Driver told me, "If you think that was good, just wait until you see the next time." I'm sure that He has some very good times awaiting me. As I sit, I have Sweetie's ashes with me, and I feel her joy in this trip. It is easier as we travel down this Road to Life, Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.

 

  

A new life growing inside of me.

 

My reason for living.

Good morning from San Antonio. Day 2 or 3 depending on how you want to count them. Day 2 from Las Cruses, or Day 3 from home. Can get so technical, but for me it is just another morning. 

This morning was something for a difference. For as I was in my daily mediation, the  thought came to me, of those who are now in my life, living as I just was. There is my old friend, who's wife and him are now on the Road to Dementia Town, and he has asked me to join him as they travel down that road of unknowns. 

Then I have a dear old lady that is I've know for sometime now. She is sitting with her failing husband of 50 years, asking me "How did you do it?". I feel that this, for now, is my new path, new road I am bound to travel. 

I am finding a new life growing inside of me. Sweetie and me will be there for them, and who ever else we meet along the way. 

Monday

Up early, and off I go. Going to be fun, just the 3 of us, two cars, and away we go. 

As we are driving, the road seems suddenly known to me. I've, we, Sweetie and me, have been here before. Then the memory of a vacation we took many years before. 

Sweetie wanted to vacation in Louisiana, and this is the way we went those many years ago. The memories, the stops, and distanation we had. I was no longer on my way to Florida, I was on memory lane. She was again, in the car, sitting next to me. 

Later, when we stopped, I told my traveling companions of my memory, and thanked him for choosing this way to come. 

The adventure continued as I got lost getting through San Antonio, still making it to the hotel only a few minutes after my friends arrived. 

Driver has been taking me through some new roads, and they my seem scary at first, they end up being a refreshing new start. Buckle Up Butter Cup, we are off for another day of unexpected joys ahead. As we travel Down the Road to Life. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur. 

On the Road.

 On the Road

This is going to be a short and sweet post. I'm find, but pushed for time. My travel companions want to be at breakfast at 6, eat and hit the road.

I'm finding that this day will be longer on the road then need to be. I travel between 80/85 mph on the open road. They do 70 or so. 

So far, it has been great to get here, and we will see just how I will be getting along with them. I may just have to sprint ahead, and then wait for them to catch up. 

Sunday

It was an eager morning for me. Knowing what I have to do, to get ready and head out. 

Of course church is first, then to the store to get some fish food and stuff. Then to fill Tweety's tank, and was thinking of getting her washed, and me a haircut. Waiting in line at Costco, ended that idea. 

Home, packed, and ready to go. Talked my neighbor into taking care of my mail, and parakeet while I'm gone. 

In to Tweety I go, and on the road to Las Cruces to meet up with my friends. 

Driver is taking it easy for this first leg of the adventure. We both know that time will move, the day will end, and we will be where we are suppost to be at the end of the day. Just Driver and me, heading down the Road to New Life, Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur. 

Need to escape.

I

 Hitting the Road

I'm practicing on Sweetie's lap top. I'm taking it on my adventure, and will be leaving in about 6 hours from now. I am so excited with anticipation of what this next two weeks are going to bring about.

As you can imagine, this being the first real trip alone since Sweetie passed. She is still here in my heart, and I'll never stop loving her, it is the simple fact that I don't have to worry about her while I'm gone. It will be the first trip where the only things I'll be thinking about while I'm gone is mail, parakeet, and fish. I've made arrangements for my neighbor to check in and take care of them for me.

In a little while, I'll be getting up from the computer, get ready for church, fill Tweety up with gas, packing my toothbrush and clean underwear, and hitting the road. I feel like I'm taking a big cleansing breath, and letting it out slowly. 

For all the years that I've been taking care of my love, it feels like this the beginning of two things. On is the breath of freedom of the caring that I've done, and the true beginning of my grieving. 

It may seem like a strange idea of grieving while I'm away. I don't. I've been so wrapped up in the caring of Sweetie, and this house, that for me to let my hair down and grieve, I need to escape the house. To not be so guarded and let my pain, my loneliness, and my joy of knowing where she is, all those jumbled emotions, out. I'm going to let the magic of the road do its magic on me. 

I love the road, behind the wheel, conquering the road, going here, and then when I get here, I'm going there. 

Saturday

It is up at my normal time, and get my normal morning going. The winds are down, and so it just might be time to get one last round of golf in. Plus, because I'm a quick packer, I've got most of tomorrow morning to put it all together. Just how much planning is needed to decide whether it is boxers or briefs? The hard part is which toothpaste am I going to take? The bright white, or the minty fresh. 

Out on the course, I meet this lady. We talk, and I'm beginning to think of more. All is going well, until I ask her how she feels about fast cars. She isn't a fan of fast cars or motorcycles. Put a pin in that balloon. 

Home, and see my neighbors pulling into their driveway. Got a new Kia, so we talk about cars. If there is one thing that bring men together is a new car. While we are talking, I told him that we, oops a typeo, I am going to be gone for two weeks. Before I can say anything, he is volunteering to look after it for me, and if there is anything he can do while I'm gone. 

Next thing I know, he is going to feed my parakeet, pick up my mail, and just take care of the house while I'm gone. 

While I'm waiting for my next event, I've been thinking about going out for dinner. But, I don't want to go alone. So, like a kid in high school, I call a lady I've know for years, and ask her to join me for dinner. She agrees to meet me at the restaurant, and so it is on. Dinner with a female friend. We are like minded in many things, and we talk, eat, and had a wonderful dinner. My heart was lifted. 

Home, Driver tells me I need to get some sleep for tomorrow will be a day of joyous activity. For we will be traveling down the Road to Life, Keeping my Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya and God bless.  

For the love of Sweetie.

My first hike into the Grand Canyon

Fellow hikers, fellows that have faded from my life, not from my memory. One has passed, the others just moved on. I used to see them at church all the time and now that I don't go there anymore, I don't see them at all. 

Fast forward to the present. I'm about to get ready for another great adventure. This time, I'll be packing, turning things off, and just sitting in great anticipation waiting for the bell to ring, the flag to go up, the pistol shot to get going. The calm before the storm. 

As of now, I'm just living my life, this life of adjustments, of not having anyone to care for, with no aim or direction. Sure, I've got the next two weeks busy. Seeing friends on the way home. But then what? 

I know my yards are a mess, the weeds are becoming the predominate vegetation in the yards. I spent years weeding, fertilizing, mowing and edging to give my yard that sign of proud ownership. Now, who cares?

It seems that Sweetie was my reason to keep the lawns green, the weeds away, and the house looking good. I wanted her to have her cottage, the home that was hers. It was my job to make it that way, and to maintain it. For the Love of Sweetie, I did so with joy. 

Friday

Ok, it is time to get up, and get going. Have an early tee time, and I don't want to be late. Now, with a new golf partner, and I've felt punctuality was always a good way to start. 

It has been windy for the past week, and today is going to be the windiest day of all. We have a window of calm in the morning. Hoping that we can get in nine before the winds kick up. 

Me, my partner, and one addition, a threesome, and off we go. I finished with 4 pars, and those were, of course, the better holes. I won't bore you with the bad holes. As we finished the front nine, the winds whipped up, and we called it a day. 

It's early in the day, and not wanting to just sit, checked what is new in the theater. The new "Fantastic Beasts" movie is opening today. Been a fan of the Harry Potter movies, and books, a good way to spend the afternoon. 

In the meantime, get a call from the insurance company. They need to get pictures of the car, and would like to come and see it. Made arrangements for them to do their stuff at the parking lot of the theater. All is good. 

Movie was fun, and again, it leaves that hint of yet more to come. 

Finished the day with my normal routine. 

Just wonder when Driver will step on the gas and get us moving. We're moving, and at the sometime, not going anywhere. "Don't worry, all in good time." Settle in, become comfortable with where we are now." Lets finish this part of the journey before we rush to the next part." And because He is behind the wheel, there isn't too much to do, but, Keep my Shiny Side Up, and we do circles on this Road to Life. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

 

The adventure.

A new day is coming.

As I sit here, and contemplating the next two weeks, it is hard not to get wrapped up in those plans. It is almost like turning the page, to find what is next. What is around the bend. 

I've been planning this trip for almost 3 years now. For the first couple of times, it was weather, then the pandemic, and now it is happening. So excited. 

I was looking at my calendar and I have trips to California, Texas, and Nevada for the next four months. I'm grateful for these travels plans because they are going to help me with grieving. Keep busy is one way of learning how to live without my Sweetie Pie. 

I find myself talking to her, telling her what a great love she was, what a great lover she was, and how I miss her lying next to me, putting my arm around her, touching her, and knowing she was always willing to love me. 

Thursday

Started off with a message from the dealership, Tweety was ready to come home. Called Uber, and headed down to get her. 

Then, to the golf course, and have at it. I'm struggling on the course. I feel like I'm walking uphill all the way. We stopped at nine holes, and was happy. 

Time to do some laundry, need clean clothes for the adventure coming up. Need to clean the kitchen, and make sure all food stuff is where they belong. Would hate to come home to ants running everywhere. 

This day was very successful. Tweety home, played golf, even made me a dinner, like when Sweety was still with me, and enjoyed the day. 

Finished the day, snuggling Sweety's pillow, and off to sleep I went. 

Might as well get comfortable on this day. Driver is behind the wheel, I'm sitting in the passenger's seat, watching the telephone poles go by. Down the Road to Life, Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.

  

Special to me.

Couldn't resist touching.

Caught her in the act of touching. It was one of the many things that made her so special to me. Flowers were one of the special creation that, I think, was made just for her. 

It didn't matter to her where she was when she spotted a flower, she was just drawn to it. Even in the grocery store, she would look at the beauty of them, and have to touch and smell them. I should bring flowers into the house, in memory of her. What do you think? Yea, me too. 

Right now, yes now, I am comfortable with my memories, my life, and being Sweetie-less. For my life has a mission in front of me. 

Wednesday

What is that noise? Damn, 5 am comes so early, and yet I wake up groggy and feel like I had just gone to sleep. Not wanting to get up and knowing that I have things to do, up I get. 

I'm getting 7 hours of sleep these days, and as of now, I feel I could sleep another 2. Up, coffee on, and head for my office to do my morning meditation. 

Get a text from an old friend, and wants to call me later this morning. No problem. He's been telling me that he needs to talk to me. Last time we talked, he said that all was well, and is looking forward to seeing me next month. Wondering just what this could be about, I wait for his call. 

When he does call, it is about his wife, she is showing all the signs of Dementia. Telling me his story, on how she is slowly declining, not able to do the books like she used to, struggling to balance the check book. He told me she doesn't have any memory these days. He is looking to me to help him through these days. 

Sad, yet so happy to be of some help for him. Now instead of needing help, I can walk with him. 

Just another wonderful day in retirement. Sitting and now doing anything that is of great importance. That is until my phone went off. It is the Dealer. They can't find the locking tool to get the wheels off. I've got it. 

Into my car and down to the dealer I go. While I'm there, they show me the damage to the linkage and that the work should be done tomorrow. Yea. 

Yea until I get a call from my insurance company. The agent told me that he'd be at the dealer on Friday to inspect the damage. "It won't be there." I tell him. I've got a trip planned and need the car. The dealer has been instructed to take pictures of the damage and give them to you. 

I got the impression that the agent wasn't pleased with me. I'm not living on his schedule, and that may have upset him. Then again, I'm not letting his schedule miss me up, either. 

Home, then to my meeting. 

Home again, phone call with my daughter, getting excited about the trip, and we are sharing that excitement. What a way to end my day. Feeling all alive, excited, and now I need to make reservations for the trip home. 

Driver seems to be enjoying our ride more. There seems to be a destination that is reachable soon. I know we are starting to feel easier about being on this Road to New Life, for it seems it is easier to Keep My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

 

Semi-truck

Will I ever get her back?

Have you ever thought of life as a test? There are times when I think it is. Not a written test, or a test I can study for. Just a test of life. 

In school, there are classes. Ones for cooking, for cleaning, for handling money, and for love relationships. The hardest ones are for trusting. It is like driving behind a semi-truck, can't see around them and you have to trust the driver to navigate the road ahead until you can pass them. 

For me, that is the most annoying time on the road. I can't see! Just got to trust, and that isn't easy for me. I'm doing better at learning how to trust, it is just that I don't like having some level of control. Behind a semi-truck I don't have any. 

Tuesday

Tweety is ready and my grandson is coming over to give me a ride to the dealer. I'm ready when the phone goes off. It is my DIL, telling me that my ride is at my front door. In my office, I can't hear the doorbell, especially when I'm playing some "Good Old Rock and Roll." 

He is such a good boy, we chit chat on the way down to the dealer, he tells me about the music he is playing, sharing his knowledge about who it is, and what it is. It is from his video games. He is so much like his dad. 

Get to the dealer, and the part that was ordered just arrived, and if I could wait, they would install it. Sure, why not. About an hour later, she is ready for me to take her home. Well, almost ready. No sooner do I head down the road, that she is pulling to the left. Turn around and take her back. 

Talking with the service writer, he said he forgot to tell me of that problem. It wasn't like that before she was brought in. Up on the alignment rack she went. A short time later, the news was given to me. A bent link on the rear axle. Will take day, maybe two to get the part and finish the job. 

Swell, there is now a semi-truck in front of me as my plans for my trip to Florida are coming under the clock. This is the time of trusting for me. I can't see around it, and so I must trust that my Driver wouldn't bring me this far and not follow through. 

Get home, call my insurance company to report the news. No problem, our team will give you a call in the next 48 hours and make an appointment to inspect the damage. No, no, no! I will be on the road before that all can happen. Made arrangements for the service department to take photos of the damage, and to go ahead and fix the car. 

Trust, trust in the work to be done in time, trust that the evidence will be sufficient to get re-reimburse for the repairs, and trust that the adventure will be without anymore drama. 

Driver assures me, not to worry. He knows the way, and it will be OK. So, here we are again, sunglasses on, motoring down the Road to a New Life, Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

 

...so frivolous.

Iris and Roses.

Sweetie was so in love with flowers, she didn't try to resist the desire to look, touch and smell them. She was always bringing beauty into our lives. If I had never met her, my life would have been lived in black and white, not the living color she brought with her. 

When I would bring her flowers, she would always smile, and be all happy because I brought them home to her. She said that it spoke volumes of my love for her, because they were so frivolous, and at the same time, so wonderful. 

It was always the simple things that impressed her. Flowers, cards, the simplicity of those three simple words, "I love you." These are the things that brought smiles to her face. 

Sweetie Pie was my best friend, best councilor, my lover, and my life partner. She hung in with me when times were so bad that she should of left me. She didn't, and when asked about those times, she said that she still loved me. Go figure.

A good woman's love is the next best thing when compared to the love of God.

Monday

It was a sit on my ass day. I could use the excuse of waiting to hear about Tweety, but that would have been a lie. I just didn't feel like doing anything. It is becoming a daily theme. 

I did do my stretching, so I can walk with less pain. I played on my X-Box. Oh, I did water the back yard. 

I keep telling myself that I have things to do, before I leave for Florida, but then again, I'm a procrastinator and if I don't goad myself, it will get done at the last minute, and may not be done correctly. 

Heard from the dealer, Tweety is ready for pick up. There is a part that has been ordered and can be installed at a later date, so, I'm going to retrieve Tweety in the morning. 

Driver is here, and He will be taking me to who knows where. All I know is that I'm in the passenger's seat, He is behind the wheel, and away we go. Down the Road to a New Life, filled with hopes, dreams, and at the same time, I'll be Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur   

 

 

Two widows

Easter gone by.

First are unique in their nature. Here we are, Sweetie and me, at church on Easter Sunday. She is her beautiful self, and I'm just trying to do my part to make her look as beautiful, to have a contrast, you know, Beauty and the Beast.

Easter Sunday

I got my suit out to wear for church, and I was greeted with "You sure clean up well." I had to admit, it was nice to hear. Then again, I was missing the one accessory that would of made the look perfect. 

After service, they had a breakfast pot luck, so I got my breakfast. I do enjoy the fellowship of this small church, so glad my Driver brought us here so many years ago. 

After church, it was time to head over to son's house for Easter dinner. It was a full house affair. DIL is an excellent cook, and we had brisket for the main course, along with potato au gratin, salad, and biscuits. 

Later, it was a shared birthday party, oldest grandson, and his grandpa, who was the father of my DIL, and which was our dessert. Carrot cake and/or cheese cake. I had both. 

As the afternoon wore down, and soon it was the two grandpa's, we had a chance to talk about being a widow. I was thinking that with him and me, we made something different. 

He lost his wife over 30 years ago, and they were married over 30 years when she passed. It looks like I'm in the right place this day. We, two widow, can talk about something that others don't understand, the lost of the love of my life, and his love loss. It was good for me. 

This is my first of many other first awaiting. I'll be relieved when there are no more first. Not to spend too much time on this day, then again, here I am.

When Driver dropped me off for the night, He reminded me that each day is special, and we will be off again in the morning. Looking for adventure along the way, down the Road to Life again, singing songs, and Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur     

 

Easter alone.

Easter Flowers.

Sunday, Easter morning, and the sun is just coming over the Sandia's. I was looking for a picture, that I know is in my picture file somewhere and I just couldn't find it. I choose this one, because Sweetie just loved Irises. I would try to have flowers in the house for Easter, and she just loved them. 

This is my first, Easter Lone. The first one of many holidays, without my Sweetie Pie. As I write this, I can feel the tears starting to swell up inside of me. 

In my new book on grieving, he starts out with his first Christmas without his wife. Easter isn't as dramatic as Christmas, but it is the same idea, the same feelings, that I'm doing something for the first time that I've never done before, I'm doing it as a widow. 

No matter how I feel, the day goes on, I must grieve and remember that this to will pass. I must, I will, allow my heart to cry, to yell, to feel the pain of love gone, and then get up, for there is still life to be lived. 

Saturday

Up and get going. Don't have much planned, just a zoom meeting, then off to a face to face meeting. After that, who knows what. 

When I got home, it was out to the fallen tree. Chain saw in hand, with a freshly charged battery, I attack the stump with all the vigor I can manage. Today, I brought an empty trash can with me and started the clean up. 

Didn't do too much, I could of done more, but the energy wasn't there. It is a start, and tomorrow after all the Easter stuff is done, I'll be out there again. 

There just doesn't seem to be that drive that I thought I would have. You know, the ambition to keep going. To keep the house clean, to wash the cars, all the maintenance stuff that goes into being a home owner. 

To report, my legs are improving, as long as I spend time on the floor, stretching. 

Ended the day with another face to face meeting, and a call with my traveling partner. 

Driver is ready, He has the car all gassed up, and we are out of here. There is much life left on the Road to Living Again. We are heading not just to the land of the living, we are headed out to a new life, in the land of the living. Making adjustments along the way. One of which is Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Blessed. Arthur.    

 

Two butterflies.

Can still find beauty. 

Like this picture of the two butterflies. I find that it is a good visual of me and my Sweetie Pie. She is almost out of the picture, in the shadows, and I am still here in the sunlight. 

I find myself talking to her more and more. Now that she isn't here in the flesh. I know that I'm speaking to her spirit and even through she doesn't answer me, I am aware of her spirit in my heart, our bed, and in our home. If I told you that she isn't still apart of my life, I'd be lying to you. 

Friday

Started my day off, as I normally do. I've changed my getting up time. I set the alarm for 6, and it gives me just enough time to get my ducks in line. 

Starting with turning on the coffee maker. Then to my office, and start my morning reading. On with the computer, read any mail, then to YouTube, find some worship music, then to my daily Bible and Daily Reflection, then to my morning devotionals. After that, I pull my letter pad out, and write out my prayers. These are the AA prayers you hear in just about any meeting. I have 4 of them. At the end, I thank my Driver for that past day, and thank Him for what is going to happen this day. 

I've found that if I give thanks for that I've already received, and that which is yet to come, I can't complain about it. Just try to remember that it is His way, not mine. I'm just following instructions. 

I can't go to the course, because my clubs are still in the car, so it is being social, talk with friends on IM, and wait for the time to go by. 

My blind friend and I are starting to get together for lunch. Two weeks ago, we went to this New Mexico restaurant, Mick's Chili Fix, for Frito Pie. We get along so well, that we are now planning a lunch together at least once a month if not more. 

As we talk about life and ate, the carne asada was tender and hot, life is very good. What could a man ask for more? Good food with a good friend. 

Home, and out in the back yard to cut at the tree again. With the battery dying, back inside. Call my traveling companion and told him about Tweety, and before I could tell him about what happened, he finished my sentence " and the car died." 

How did he know? He reads a corvette site and it is happening all over the US. It is fixable, and there is a solution. This morning, I'm going to get the link and send it to my dealer, it was so good to hear that I'm not the only one. 

Went to my Friday meeting, and had a good discussion on something out of the Big Book. Home again, made some hot wings, watch TV and to bed I went. 

Today, Driver and me had a good day, not too exciting, and not too boring. Just good, and that is just what I needed, a good day. As we passed some of the new sites and sounds as we traveled the Road to Life, I was reminded to Keep My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.  

 

Laughter is the gentle breeze...

She is in the sunshine of His love.

 Knowing that she has gone on to that place where I cannot go, yet. In my morning meditations was this:

Only I know when you will reach that destination... The absolute certainty of your heavenly home gives you Peace and Joy to help you along your journey. You know that you will reach your home in My perfect timing: not a moment too soon or too late. 

It was in His timing that was when He ushered Sweetie into her heavenly home. 

Yes, I am alone, but not desperate. I have friends that are telling me to take it slow, to rest in this time of grieving. Give my heart time to find comfort in Sweetie not being her, to remember where she is, and when the time will come, find joy in her new home. For I know I too will have my face to face with my Higher Power, and will know that peace she is in now. 

 Wednesday/Thursday

Two days rolled into one posting. For you see, Wednesday rolled right into Thursday. Because of the events of those two days it comes one post. 

Wednesday started out easy enough. The wind was blowing, so there wasn't any golf, spent most of the day playing on my X-Box, just enjoying the day of nothingness. 

Everything was going alone smoothly, until that moment that put the serenity to the test. 

When I got to my meeting and was shutting off Tweety, a notice came on. "Your car is ready for a software update. Will take about an hour to complete..." Hey that is perfect timing, I can let it do its thing, and after the meeting, it will be done. 

After the meeting, I went to the car and it wouldn't let me in. OK, maybe it needs more time. So I waited, and waited, and waited. It was 2 in the morning when I called for an Uber to take me home. 

Upon arising, I got with a friend that is also a good mechanic. Told him about what happened, and the end was for me to go to the car and see if it would let me in, in the short answer, no. 

I learned so much about the corvette. like how to open doors with the manual key, how to open the front trunk, where the battery is, and how to remove the covers that hide the battery. 

Also, call insurance for roadside help, to get a tow truck, and to find out it wasn't the battery. As of this morning, I am waiting to hear from the dealer. So far, there isn't anything that I can do, so I wait, knowing that it will get fixed, and Tweety and I will be together again. 

The side story here was, I had a tee time for Thursday morning, with a lady friend, and because of Tweety breaking down, had to cancel the golf date. It seems that I'm not ready to even play golf with someone of the opposite sex. Driver seems to be taking care of those prospects. So, I'll read my new book, about grieving, (thank you), and learn to rest in His wings. 

After getting my business done at the dealership, headed to son's home. Pizza Thursday has been re-institute, and I was late. Told son of the problems with Tweety, and had him pick up the meal. This time, I added a salad at his request, which I felt was also good for me. 

Upon arrival, they were done, and I got what was left over, which was just fine with me. This is where I get my fill of adult conversation. This family bond is like no other I have had. There is love and caring here. Words are the medicine for my bruised soul, and laughter is the gentle breeze that refreshes my heart. So blessed that we have built this family together, again, it is just another sign that my Driver has been in control all this time. 

Home, then to anther meeting, and back again. In bed and asleep. Holding my Sweetie pillow, I am at peace and asleep I go. 

Driver took care of everything, life events, love re-assured, and peace. He is preparing anther day for me to live, and like always, we will be heading down the Road to Life, and that is where He and I will Keep My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.  

 

Boxes. filled with years of cards...

I know that to be true, now.

 I've been sleeping pretty good these past couple of nights. Getting anywhere of about six hours a night. For me that is more than enough. Been setting the alarm for 5am, and most of the mornings I've needed it.

Feel pretty good about the house, the cleaning that is starting to get done, the fact that I'm not just sitting around and living in my loneliness. My frame of mind is OK, by taking on that there isn't anything to regret about my caring for Sweetie, and the blessing of being there, holding her when she passed will always be a part of me. 

Tuesday

Up and at'am, that is how the day got going. Making 5 my wake up call, is also making me go to bed between 9 and 10. Regulation is the tool for me now. 

Still doing that which I've been doing now for over thee years. I told my daughter that if I start to miss days in my posting, knowing me, that soon I will stop posting, and my time is done, my trip back to my new normal will be complete. 

As you have written, it is one day at a time, and easy does it. If nothing else, I have to remember that this to will pass. Life is not a snapshot, it is a motion picture. 

The winds are gusting, and golf is out of the picture. I've started a stretching session after I post. Just some old stretching exercise that I remembered from high school. Back in the day of football and running high hurdles. They seem to help. I even spent 3 minutes on my rower. 

With the wind blowing and golf is out of the question, I think I'll go to the movies. Made a call to a friend, and he can't make it. I've decided not to call any of the ladies I know, because I wouldn't feel right, so I went alone. 

With a large popcorn, and soda, I sat and watched "Uncharted". A good old treasure hunt movie with all the twist and turns of not trusting and betrayal. Tom Holland was one of the stars, he was also was Spiderman, and it seemed that they wrote his character to perform like spiderman. Predictable, but fun for a couple of hours. 

Later, at home, I needed to find an extension cord, and was upstairs looking. That is a very dangerous place for me. Too many memories living up there. 

In my search, I came across two boxes, boot boxes, filled with years of cards that Sweetie and I exchanged. Christmas, birthdays, make up cards, and when we were apart cards. I didn't spend much time there, because my heart couldn't handle those memories, just too soon. 

I started saving the cards for reasons that didn't make sense back then, but I did. We were a card couple. When I would be out of town, for any reason, I'd mail her a card before I left, timing it so she would get it the day after I was gone, and a card while I was away. I would also get "I love you" cards and mail them to her at work. 

I wanted her to be surprised by them, and they kept our love fresh and alive. Once a year, she would have to leave on a week long business meetings. I would get her itinerary, and mail cards to where she would be staying. She loved that. 

I kept them all, and now when the time is right and my heart has the strength to handle it, I will be reading them again. 

Well, I hear Driver pulling in, He is ready for another adventurous day. He is coming in, pouring Himself a cup of coffee. We'll sit and talk about life, then off we will go, down the Road to Life, where we will be wearing our sunglasses and Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur. 

 

It was going to be day of nothingness. With gusty winds well over 20mph, golf was out of the questions.