Saturday, January 25, 2020

Well, well, well. Here we are on my first out of the box blog. I am new to blogging not posting. I've been posting on a closed Dementia site for months and have been encouraged to go public. So, here I am.

What is a day like with a spouse that is walking the path down to Dementia Town. It is hard, not just for the person, it is most difficult for the people who are their caregivers. I'm Sweetie's caregiver, I'm also her husband. We've been married for 32 years as of now. Soon, in May, it will be 33 years. As of now, the clock on our marriage will continue to tick even when there isn't a reason to wind the clock.

I've been posting about our daily lives as I accompany Sweetie on her journey. I see the difficulty in her face when she has those moments of clarity when she tells me she "isn't any good anymore.". I cant tell her the truth, because the truth doesn't make sense to her. But I try. To comfort her, I'll tell her that she is good for me, she is all I need. Sometimes it works, sometime it doesn't. I've learned that truth isn't her truth. Dementia doesn't play between the lines. It erases the line and may or may not redraw them.

Friday is a day that never starts good. I know that I need my time away from Sweetie, so I put her into daycare 3 days a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,  and I head to the local golf course. I don't leave her there all day, only about 4 hours, so I only play the executive course. 9 holes are better than nothing.

Sweetie is really into shadowing now. For her to be away from me for any time is devastating for her and when she realize that is where I'm taking her the cries of terror and tears flow. She knows she will be without me and that just scares her almost to death.

Once inside and a worker comes and greets her, she's fine. With a kiss and a promise to get her when I'm do, she pushes me out the door.

When I pick her up, usually around 1, I take her to McDonald's for a quick meal. As soon as we are in the car, I give her a dose of CBD Hemp oil, and by the time we've eaten and reconnected, she is calmed down enough that we can do something. Usually its heading for the nearest mall and walking the mall for about an hour. Yesterday I got the idea, go home and put her on the toilet, so she can pee before we go.

I've been worried about her being constipated, we've been on a diet of oatmeal for 2 days, and I found the reaction to our diet. Oh my what a reaction. So, we sat there and I read to her so she sat happily being the center of attention. Afterwards, it was shower time, new "underwear" and off for our walking.

I've been using CBD Hemp oil and Stress Relief aromatherapy body cream to help with her sundowners. Before we started using the oil and lotion, sundowners was a terrible time. There was her getting out of the house, trying to get into neighbor's homes, thinking she needs to help the kids inside. I had to block her from going into homes, it was just terrible.

On the Facebook site, I learned about CBD Hemp oil, and decided to give it a try. What did I have to loose? After the first dose, what a difference. The affect in her calming was a miracle. She didn't try to get out of the house, but anxiety was apparent and still is comes into play every now and then. 

We added Stress Relief Lotion when the daycare crew told me about it and how they use it to calm Sweetie. I got some and added it our regimentation to help with her sundowners. We now have evenings that are almost sundowners free. And that, my friends, are my Easter Eggs of blessing that can be found, if you look for them.

I think this is enough for this first time out. If your out, look for me, I'll be the one keeping the Shinny Side Up. God Bless.

 

 

14 comments:

Mickie said...

You are amazing! Sweetie is blessed to have you. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself, too, it's so important. Looking forward to more posts!💝

Mazikeen Lara Marek said...

Great job Artemus transitioning from Facebook to adding a Blog and sharing your journey with Sweetie. She's really a beautiful lady. You make a wonderful couple. God Bless you both and your shares always make me smile. Days have been rough. There is a monster Director of Nursing at Daddy's ALF threatening to kick him out because she doesn't like that I had to escalate a complaint about response times to his alert button. He's a fall risk who is "supposed to be checked on every 2 hours and no resident should ever have to wait over 20 mins. Long story short response times were over 45mins. So now Daddy pays the price. I will not let the "Monster" ( James Blunt song) win. I promise. Hugs and love❤❤

Artemus Macneil said...

Thank you for your kind words. There are going to be some bumps in the road as I learn about blogging and setting up the site.

Storm@ said...

I am proud of both of you! We are truly blessed to have you in our cyber lives! I look forward to your posts everyday. You have so much "favor" from God. Continue to allow Him to guide your footsteps. You guys are awesome! Give Sweetie an extra �� for me!��

Tjaramillo63 said...

This blog will be such a blessing to others on the journey who haven't yet found support and those who need to learn to find the "Easter eggs" in their daily lives. Your story of personal evolution through Sweeties journey is a lesson in agape love. Without God, how could you do what you do? I can't wait to read more! Blessings to you and Sweetie��

Karen said...

True Love here ❤️ Sweetie is beautiful!

DeborahN said...

Artemus - I hope you will post the link to your daily blog so that those in our Dementia Support Group can read and be inspired by your posts. I know that I love reading your posts as they are helpful as other also do. What Calming Lotion do you use? Thank you

Chris said...

Enjoyed this and learned from it also. Look forward to next chapter. Thanks for sharing.

Stephanie Luke - Albuquerque Real Estate, Realtor said...

I'm so glad you're blogging, I think it is really healing to share, be heard, and be responded to. What you wrote was truly beautiful, Art. You and your Sweetie are in my prayers 💌

Artemus Macneil said...

I use Stress Relief Aromatherapy. You can get it at Bath and Body Works.

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing another part of your life with us. I enjoyed reading your posts within the group and i'm sure you won't let us down with your future tales. 've been caring for my Mother a very long time and to know that all people with dementia behave in certain ways seems like they are all rehearsing a play from the same script. It is certainly a crappy disease but somehow we learn to deal with it and cope as best we can.

Unknown said...

Cool Artemis...will be following xx

Mazikeen Lara Marek said...

I use this for myself too. Great stuff!!

You are my Sunshine said...

You took the words right out of my mouth. My mom passed in 2002, but before that your words describe a phase that I went through with her. Hang in there and know you a loved. 💜🙏💜

A fitting farewell.

When we were young. I've been rummaging around and found this picture of Sweetie and me. We had been married for about a year when this...