Dementia: A cruel teacher.

Sweetie on Hawaii, shopping.

Dementia, what a teacher it is for those of us who are caregivers. Sweetie maybe like a toddler, in many ways she is not. Dementia has taught me that and many more things about myself. It has been all through the caring for Sweetie, and these are also lessons that I would of never learned if it wasn't for Dementia. 

Yesterday, in one of my meetings, the subject was ego, self centeredness and how it drives us. As it turns out, those lessons that I learned earlier were just pre-school for what was to come. Dementia is a cruel teacher for the caregiver. The only graduation comes when your ward is no more. It has taught me that control is truly a vapor, a figment of my imagination. If Dementia doesn't want to do something, you cannot force it to do it. 

Yesterday, Sweetie had messed her pullups and it was very messy. So, it was a shower time. As I got her ready for the shower, she wanted me to get in with her, and she wouldn't have it any other way. No matter how I tried, she just wouldn't budge. So, into the shower I went, and then trying to wash her private areas was another battle. Slowly, oh so slowly, was I able to get soap and water there and slowly wash her. She would complain about it hurt, so I had to be extra gentle, but we did get the job done. 

I've, all by accident, put in a paper towel dispenser in the bathroom. It is one of the best ideas I've come up with. When time comes to dry her off, I'll give her some paper towels to dry off her privates. So, if anything is still there, it doesn't mean I have to wash another bath towel, and because it is damp and soft, it is easier to finish any clean up necessary. Here was a lesson, a pop quiz and Easter Egg all rolled into one. 

Just another reason to be off with my Driver. He is the one who really has all the control and everyday I'm learning that more and more. I know today will be day of learning. Never a dull moment with my Driver. He is there, never blaming, never condemning, just smiling and encouraging. Now we're off for another day trip down the Road to Dementia Town. I'm wearing my cool sunglasses, my Driver is smiling, and as always, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Are you learning that control with Dementia will never happen? If you are, then you too can drive with your Shiny Side Up, too. Love Ya, God Bless.   

A tool for Sundowners.

Sweetie at the VA.

I hope you all had a good Easter. Ours was uneventful, which was and is a good thing. After posting and doing my morning prayer and meditation time. I surrender to the fact that the weather meant a day inside. Which meant I'd have to find something that kept Sweetie's mind busy. 

I'm trying to help by making things simpler for her. I emptied out the silverware drawer and have only spoons and forks in the drawer. and only 4 of each. That way she isn't confused by looking at a empty drawer when putting them away. I'm slowly removing excess cooking utensils, soon pots and pans that are not used will be stored out of the way, again, to make it simple for her to help me do the dishes. Simple is good. I know she won't be able to help at all, when the time comes. I just want her to feel important, to herself, if nothing else. 

I've found that encouraging her when she gets something right is important to her. You should see her face when she does it right and I tell her what a good job she's done. I know it is the same with a toddler, and that is just about where she is. 

I've been thinking that it is about time for me to start putting her in nighttime diaper's. Or try to wake her up and take her potty. Even with the pads, she'll move off them and get the bed wet. I put one under the sheet and one on top so that if she moves off the top one, there is a layer of protection that might save the mattress. Then again, like all plans there seems to be the human factor. 

If I don't give her liquid, she gets dehydrated, and if I do, she doesn't make it to the potty most of the time. I used to get frustrated at this but by now, it is just a factor of her disease that I have to live with.    
We turned on Micky's Clubhouse yesterday at the time she has the most problems with her sundowners. It is like the magical bullet. It just allows her to focus and get involved. I'll be there with her, and as the show goes on, she smiles, and even tries to say the things that Mickey tell her to say. I love it. I don't know how long the stay will be at this point of her journey, I just know, it sure is nice to have a tool that will help her stay calm during those terrible sundowner times. Simple is good. I might even try Sesame Street. 

That just about does it for today. It is time for my Driver to arrive and I have to get going, still in my jammies. I know the drive will be good for me today. He's going to take a more exciting road today. I love rollercoasters and He knows it. I'm looking forward to it. Me and my Driver, wearing cool sunglasses, going around curves, up and down hilly roads, and as always, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. May you have a good drive today, as you motor down the road, Keeping Your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, God Bless. 

Dementia Zone, Poop, and the crazies.

Grandma and youngest grandson.

How did Sunday go, you ask? 2nd day back on CBD and to tell the truth, not bad. I know she is failing at a good clip now, and her behavior is baffling at times. 
With this new stage of Dementia, she wants to be more independent, doesn't want to eat, and her emotions are up and down. One minute she is sitting next to me, then she is up and moving, then telling me she has stuff to do, and then not knowing what the stuff is and wants me to help her. Enough to drive me crazy. I know it is the disease talking, and only the disease. 

I don't know where my calm comes from, yet at the same time, I do know. I just wonder where it comes from. This is not the normal me. Before Dementia, I always used anger as a tool to control, and there are times when I still do use anger in attempt to get her to do something when she is in her "Dementia Zone." It doesn't work all the time. 

Yesterday, her inconstancy was a bit of a problem. I got her into the bathroom, but to get her to take down her pants and sit on the potty was a mystery to her. At the same time, she started dropping turds. Not knowing where they came from, she wanted to pick them up. Just like a child playing with their own feces, I had to tell her to leave it alone. Gees, a 75 year old toddler. 

We did some yard work and tried to take a walk, but it was too windy for her. We stopped at a neighbor's because they were out washing their car, and Sweetie was just delighted to stop and "talk" with them. They know about her dementia, and smiled and chit chatted with her. Easter Egg. 

Thanks for letting me chat with you again, but the time has come for me to get going. I can hear the quick horn honks as my Driver is trying to get my attention. Wonder why He isn't coming in? I'll find out when I get out there. You know, riding in that bright shiny car, with my cool sunglasses on, as Driver and me head out down the Road to Dementia Town. As always, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. That goes for you too. The sun will come up, and it will set, during that time, Keep Your Shiny Side Up as you motor through your day. Till tomorrow, Love Ya, God Bless.