Trying to catch a lizard.

Just 5 years ago. 

I did something yesterday that I hope will work well for me and Sweetie. With the first face to face Alzheimer's support meeting coming this Friday, I needed someone to care for Sweetie while I was attending it. Not knowing what to do, I texted the daycare group, got a suggestion, and acted on it. If all goes according to plan, I'll have a trained professional over to take care of her. For the first time in 4 months, I'll be without my shadow. I feel like a kid the night before Christmas. 

Yesterday was a good day for us, things went well. I've decided to keep Sweetie in the golf cart as much as possible while we're on the course, keep the cart positioned as to keep her in the shade. Again, watering her, the age old trick, I take a swallow, and hand her the bottle. If she refuses, I wait a few minutes, and hand it to her again, very non shallot and seems to work most of the time. If she feels that I'm forcing it on her, she push the bottle away. That's when I'll put it down, wait, and then do it again. Most of the time it works. 

Last night, her ability to follow instructions became quite clear. I put some Stress Relief lotion on her hands so she could rub it in. What happened next was a page out of confusion. She would say she was trying but her actions just didn't match what she was doing, and the more I tried to help her, the more she fought me. It was like trying to catch a lizard, just when you think your going to get it, it would switch directions an on and on we go, until she finally got it done. Whew, what an adventure. I'm going to go back to putting it on the back of her neck, that way she won't have to do any of the doing. 

Happy to report that Mr. Sundowners didn't come calling at all yesterday, but that doesn't mean everything was hunky dory. A snippet here and there, but nothing I could handle. All in all, there were Easter Eggs scattered though out the day. 

Well, Good Morning, Driver. Time for us to head out. And head out we will. I know it was His prompting that lead to the solution of someone to care for Sweetie, I just wonder what He has up His sleeve today. I'll never know sitting here, so up and at them. What a gentleman He is. He's got everything I need waiting for me. In I go, sliding into the passenger's seat, glasses on, and buckled up. Got the radio on, sings praises and hymns as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town. Being careful to avoid the bumps as we drive with our Shiny Side Up. Where ever you wander, I'll know you because you too will have your Shiny Side Up, as you motor down the Road to Dementia Town. Have a great day, See ya, Love ya, and God Bless.  

The most stupidest thing I've heard.

I love you.

Please excuse me for this portion of my posting. Last night I heard from our daycare people and the governor has made the decision to open senior centers again, that was the good news. That is to a limited amount of people, and that they wear mask. Of all the stupid things I've heard over the pandemic, this is one of those that rate right up there in the top 10. To have seniors who don't know where they are, half the time, to explain to them that they have to wear a mask is just stupid.  I've attempted to get Sweetie to wear a mask, and it last about 5 minutes. She doesn't understand, she doesn't like it and she says she can't breath with it on. So, I told our person that we will be sitting out our participation until all restrictions have been removed. The good thing about this is we've been able to work through the restrictions and so far things are working well. 

With developing the new routine, when I hear Sweetie getting up and going to her, I think I'll be able to help her more and she won't be so confused when she comes down stairs. I think that it will relieve her of where she is and what to do. That she won't be alone, and that is frightening to her. She is so attached to me that leaving her at anytime upsets her. 

We're still out walking and I've got most of the walk paths for us to equal about 2 miles a day. I know that it is best for her, and she will be healthier for it. We're now using a golf cart when we head for the course. She is getting used to the bumpy ride and we have dry pants when we go home. To me that is worth it. 

Had a very good day, and I'm looking forward to another one. We're pretty much got ourselves is a good schedule. The lunch in the backyard, sitting on the couch, watching nothing special is becoming my favorite time with her. I can cat nap and then watch her for awhile. She seems so at ease with everything. Special time is when she starts her boys story. I pray that there isn't a time when I get bored with it. 

One of the things I've put into play is a walk after lunch. Like I said, about 2 miles and it takes us about 45 minutes. It helps work off the lunch and when we get back, we go back to the couch in the backyard with a glass of ice water to sit and cool off. This way we are not sitting in front of the TV all day long, and she doesn't get bored with the TV. I don't think she can continually process what she sees if it doesn't tickle her interest. 

There He is, "it's about time You showed up." but then again, His timing is always perfect. It is time for me to get on my way, to start my day, spending that special time with my Driver. Looking to the day, driving down the Road to Dementia Town, sharing my cares and joys with Him, as He drives us, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Care to follow us? We can stop and sit on the side of the Road to Dementia Town, in the shade of some trees and just enjoy. Have a Great Day, Love Ya, and God Bless.    

Reasonably Happy.

Knott's Berry Farm.

In my morning meditation and prayer time, there is a line in one of my prayers that always drags me back to a position of gratitude. It is simply this. "That I maybe reasonably happy in this life." One word that will set or reset my heart for the day. 

As a husband taking care of his wife as we travel the Road to Dementia Town, it would be easy to feel sorry for myself, to get bogged down in the daily "stuff" that is part of my life as I care of her. My whole life and attitudes have been turned on their heads. 

Is it because of my attitude that makes Sweetie easy to be with? Or is my attitude making me aware that what I am doing, I am also fulfilling the laws of love? 

I'm alone now in these early morning hours, pondering what will I do later today, on how we are going to get through the next waking day. Earlier in her disease, we could plan trips, drive to places and enjoy the sights of where we were. Over the years those simple pleasures are vanishing. 

I told my daughter, that when this lock down is done, I'm coming out and buying steaks for all and her husband can b-b-que them. I so miss having a complete adult meal. Everything I cook is either soft, or in bit size portions. Does that make sense? It does to me. 

Yesterday, another day of easy living. Our routine is pretty much set, Sweetie is up, breakfast, out to the golf course, play a round, home for lunch, a little TV, then around 3 out for a walk, home, dinner, TV, and to bed. For today, we will repeat from the day before. Mundane as it sounds, it gets the day done, and we are reasonably happy this way. Reasonably happy is the key for me to maintain sanity for me. What most do not see, and I'm one of them, is the surprises that await us in this boring life style.

He is here, and I am ready. My Driver just pulled into the driveway and I need to see what He has planned for the day. Even though we ride together everyday, it is never boring, or lacking in anyway. Life is a mystery, just look at me, never would I have thought of sharing all with you, as we Drive the Road to Dementia Town together, either side by side or as a caravan. Easter Eggs to be found as we go, Keeping our Shiny Sides Up. As always, you too, Keep your Shiny Side Up and we will finish this trip together. Love Ya and God Bless.  

Dementia's never ending story.

Who's that? My love, who else.

Yesterday was a day of joy. I don't know why, it was like many of the days we've had in the past, yet for some reason, it was just "nice". 

I didn't have to look hard to find the Easter Eggs that were out there. Things like, deciding to get Sweetie up, and as I headed up the stairs, guess who was coming down? Breakfast outside, watching the sun go up, and the birds flittering around the feeders. Then back inside for our morning hygiene routine, where Sweetie was very cooperative. I shave her chin every morning and if I don't her whiskers get just that much longer that she will complain when I shave her. Take vitamins, cranberry extract, and watch her take them. I have a feeling that there may arrive a time when she won't be able to swallow her pills. So, I keep a close eye on her as she takes them. 

One of the biggest sweet time we had was after our walk. We went out and sat on the couch with a glass of ice water, and Sweetie began her never ending story about the boys, God, and her leading the boys to God. We sat together as she talked and talked, like I said the never ending story, for about 45 minutes. I held her hand, and she spoke softly to me, as I catnapped, and her invisible audience about her adventure. I only broke in to show her a humming bird had stopped at a feeder. I was so nice. Special Easter Egg. 

Driver knows what I'm talking about. I feel that He arranges days like this for my heart health. My Driver isn't just a driver, He is also my emotional Heart physician. He knows that I can't give away what I don't have. So, He makes sure that my love for Sweetie is being renewed on a daily basses. For if it wasn't, it would run dry and I couldn't find those Love Easter Eggs, which are the currency for refilling my Love tank. Speaking of my Driver, He's at the door, peeking in and seeing if I'm ready. "Yes Sir, I'm ready". Off we go, me, I'm wearing one of my Hawaii shirts, which only accent my cool sunglasses as we motor down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Wacha you wearing today? Something that shouts "I'm happy"? Something that lifts your spirits as you travel with me down the Road to Dementia Town, as you keep your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, Take care and God Bless.         

Lunch, point and eat.

So many pictures of us on the beach.

As Dementia takes over Sweetie and all her abilities that came with her personality, I just assumed many duties. One of which was the photographer. I always love to take pictures to the point that I tried my hand at taking wedding pictures. Just to stressful. When selfies became popular and smart phones became cameras, it became easy. I'm so glad that I have as many pictures of Sweetie and me to choose from. 

After the near disaster on the golf course the other day, we returned to the scene of the crime. This time to meet with a friend and hit a bucket of balls. When we do this, I bring a chair for Sweetie to sit in. She likes doing this because of all the right reasons. Number one, she is with me, and she just has to seat. She is the pro and gives me a smile when she thinks I hit a good shot. 

Lunch is turning into a point and eat routine. I'll make sandwiches for us and when we are eating, she will tell me she doesn't know how to do it. So, I found out, if I point out a beginning place to eat the sandwich and she takes a bite, from there I'll point out the next bite and then the next, until the sandwich is gone. It is a fun game for both of us. Since I found out she likes the little cups of apple sauce, they are now a main stay with our lunch. She used to be able to open it by herself, now I have to do it for her. You know they have the containers that are squeezable apple sauce, that maybe next. 

For you gummy fans, it isn't working for Sweetie. I've been giving her Cranberry supplements to help keep UTI away. When I went to buy a replacement, all that was left were gummies, and she doesn't understand about chewing them. Back to the drawing board. 

When we went for our afternoon walk, it was a longer walk then I had planned. Took a water bottle with us, Gatorade and water. As we were walking, I could tell she wasn't doing as well as I know she could, and just like that, a friend we know was just coming out of his home heading to pick up his mail. Asked if we could come in and get a glass of water and to let Sweetie rest. Of course we could, and we did. 

Refreshed, we headed back out made a bee line home. Sweetie was fading fast. When we got home, she went straight to bed. Crashed and burned right there. She came back in about an hour and we finished our day without anything worthy to report. 

Today is Pizza Day with the kids and their kids. I want to talk to them about caring for their mom. Her son is the only one that is taking any interest in her health, and I've begun to worry about if I get sick, or have an accident or die while she is still with me. This is very heavy on my heart, so, I need to address it with him. 

Some mornings are exhausting, and I can't wait for my Driver to show up and stick His head in the door way, enticing me to join Him. Relax He says, for He will be with me all day long. Life's highway is a journey that should be enjoyed, and that is way we spend the day together. He is more than willing to point out the panoramic view, pull off to the side of the road to rest, knowing that we are on the Road to Dementia Town, pacing ourselves as we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. If you need rest, you too can pull off the road, find a shady spot, lean back and take a nap. The Road to Dementia Town will be waiting for you to return. So enjoy the ride as long as you can. Seeking out Easter Eggs where they are hidden. Wave as you go bye, I'll know you because you will have your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, God Bless.   

    

Dementia doesn't like the rain.

At the Beach again.

Yesterday was a different day because of showers, and Dementia doesn't like the rain. When it comes to the weather, there is a very small amount of variation that Dementia will allow. If the wind is blowing, not good, if it is too cold, again, not good. I'm waiting for a good thunder and lighting storm to hit. I'm sure that will have Dementia climbing the walls. 

Because I have some TV shows that I like to watch and I know Sweetie cannot watch, I made the decision to try and watch them, until Sweetie wakes us. That is how we started the day. It seemed to go well, until she woke up and came down stairs. Nothing violent was going on, and a scene about some girls being released just triggered her. Just never know what will allow Dementia to turn the key of response. She ended up going back to bed for some about an hour. 

We went to the golf course so I could play and she could walk. That didn't end well, it started raining, and that put an end to that. 

After changing clothes, which was another fun event. Trying to get Dementia to change into dry clothes seem like not a good idea to her. But we got dry clothes on. 

Tried to do a walk around the block, and sprinkles started, headed back home again. 

All is not lost, for we did have a good evening and dinner. I'm making meals as simple as I can. The idea to make mash potatoes and mix the meat and vegetables in with the potatoes has been a great success. She doesn't have to look at different food groups in her bowel, just the mound of mash potatoes, with a spoon and just a few questions on how to eat, the are soon gone from the bowel. Yea!!

Yesterday was a day of choices. My biggest choice was how to make Sweetie comfortable during the day. What happened was a day with an Easter Egg waiting for me at the end. When we went to bed, and she curled up and slept, peacefully. That, my friends, was an Easter Egg well worth waiting for. 

Its time, and I can hear my Driver coming in the front door. Its OK, I gave Him the Keys to my house along time ago, He's welcome anytime. You know what that means? Time to hit the Road to Dementia Town. We are going to talk about yesterday, and what I learned. He never gives test, just watches and sees if I can apply the lessons I've learned. Got my cool sunglasses in one hand, and hat in the other as I slide into the passenger's seat, buckled up and off we go. Driver and me, down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. That goes for you too, keep yourself buckled up and you drive, or do you have a Driver who can do the driving for you, as you head out, down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up.     

Wind, sandwich, and shredded lettuce.

Tucson Squadron Reunion, 2012.

The wind kick up yesterday afternoon, we had finished playing another round of golf and finished what little grocery shopping we had to do. I had made our lunch, bologna sandwiches with pickle and applesauce, when we went outside, Sweetie didn't like the wind so we went back inside to watch TV and eat. I tried something new, I shredded the lettuce to see how she would accept it. Not a good idea. Being shredded, it would fall out of the sandwich and that would cause her to fixate on the lettuce out of the sandwich, which would get her confused as to how to eat the sandwich. I've learned that if I point out a part of the sandwich to eat and tell her to take a bit here, she would, and then on to the next bit and so on until the sandwich is gone. Cutting the sandwich in half has two possibilities, the first is two pieces and if she is having problems with the sandwich, ie part of it falling out, or being squeezed, something isn't just perfect, she won't want to eat the second half. I've learn to be firm with her and have her eat it. Second is there is too much for her to eat. That is handled the same way, be firm and insist that she eats the sandwich. 

She dearly loves the applesauce, the problem is the covering. She can get so wrapped up with the removal of the covering to the point of loosing what she is doing and forget to eat the sauce. I'm always keeping a watchful eye on her, because she will with one hand have the container and with the other reach for a scrap of something and start to spill what ever is in the other hand. Lunch is becoming a wonderful event. I'm just happy that she is eating. 

Because of the wind, we were not able to do a long walk in the evening, so I tried something a little different. Where we live, our neighborhood is built in a oval. With only one way in and out, so we can walk this oval just by itself. Found out it was about a quarter of a mile by lap, which I had always thought it was. Ran track in high school and it reminded me of the time I did some distant running. Sweetie was getting irritable watching TV, so we did a couple of laps and it worked. She was calm and we had the rest of the evening enjoyably watching until bed time. 

Bed time doesn't have the same meaning that it used to. Now it is checking her pullups to see if she is dry, making sure she is sleeping on her pad, got her jammies on, and then to sleep. I miss the kisses and tight hugs and feeling her against me. 

In one of my daily prayers, there is the line I have learned to shape my world around, "That I maybe reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with You, forever in the 
next." By saying that daily, I can look at my Driver and tell Him, "Ya, with all that is happening with us, I am reasonable happy." He tells me that without the sad, how would I ever know what happy is. He is so right. When He is driving, and I don't have a care in the world, I'm happy. When there are problems, He is there to remind me, that this too will pass, and I find myself measuring against the good stuff, and it isn't so bad after all. And it does pass. Just like the scenery outside the car, as we drive down the Road to Dementia Town. My Driver and me, with the cares of the world blowing off me and out the window and feeling refreshed. Relaxed in knowing that my Driver will keep us headed in the right direction, as He keeps our Shiny Side Up. Hey, is that you? Nice ride, and ya, your Shiny Side is Up, too. Take care, love ya and God Bless.      

Dementia: There can be happy solutions.

On the USS Bowfin, submarine at Pearl Harbor.

Spent some time on the driving range yesterday. I was go good to get the clubs out and hit some balls. Not only was it a good change of pace for the both of us, it was like being alive again. Sweetie just yammered about it for some time. When I'd hit a ball and look back at her, she was all smiles. Life, as it is now, doesn't get much better. I have plans for us to get out a play 9 holes today. 

When we got home and tried to take a walk, it was very breezy and so we cut it short. What I find amazing is her wanting to walk. It is something that we do on a regular bases now. And because of that, I think we will have a good time walking the course. I'm so excited! I bought a distance finder just before V-19 hit and this will be the first time I get to use it. Feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. I'm just squirming in my chair waiting for the day to get going. 

We spent quite a bit of time in the backyard, on the couch, watching the birds, clouds and planes over head. We have a birdbath back there and I've been putting water in it these past couple of days and to watch the sparrows go to it and drink. One of the things I've observed is that sparrows are usually in twos. I think they are mated pairs. They are just a joy to watch. 

Working on getting Sweetie more regulated with the potty. When she gets up, the first thing I do is get her to the potty and we sit and I read to her. Because she still has some knowledge of God and the Bible, reading from the Bible is good for both of us. She hasn't wet the bed in a couple of weeks and believe it or not, I'm worried. I don't think she is taking in enough water and there isn't much for her to pee. Even when she fills her pullups, the amount of pee in them a less amount then before. Humm. 

I take a bottle with us when we walk and it is filled with water and Gatorade. The way I look at it, the Gatorade will give her more than just water, a happy solution for both of us. 

Happy solution, that is what my Driver is all about. It is because of our conversations that I can look back and see all the Easter Eggs. Bird watching, driving range, walks, and just the love that Sweetie gives me when she doesn't even know that she is giving it. Looking for a new solution again this morning. Driver knows so much more than what He tells me. He just loves for me to see the wisdom in His words. I listen carefully because I don't want to loose any of it. As we hit the Road to Dementia Town, Him behind the wheel, with the window down, and His arm resting on the door, and me with my cool sunglasses on as we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. You think that today would be a good day to have the window down, with your arm out, resting on the door as you drive down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Gotta go, Love Ya, and God Bless.   

Dementia doesn't know sore feet.

What a difference 5 years make. 

One of the things that I have missed, is the beauty that I am married to. She was, and is, truly God's gift to me and I am now just seeing what I've missed. These postings and the pictures I have to choose from are only about 5 maybe 6 years old. Which makes them all that much more precious. They are of what we were like as Dementia was creeping in on us. 

Strange how Dementia's brain works. As you know, we are doing a lot of walking. Sweetie has a pair of shoes that for the longest time seem to work well. They are a pair of flats, not really made for walking, but how do you tell someone with Dementia that they are bad for their feet when they cannot understand the blisters or raw skin on their feet. Last night when I saw how raw her feet were, I made the mistake of telling her she needed to get rid of those shoes. Sweetie went into a rant about how it was OK and she loved them. This morning they are in the trash, and I put her good walking shoes in their place. I just hope I don't have to suffer too much when she realizes that they are gone. Distract, distract and change the subject. I know it will be better for her, and me, in the long run. 

"Squirrels, I hate squirrels." If you have seen the movie "Up", then you know this line. If not, just think of it as a change the subject quickly and how it will change direction. I have begun to point out birds, cats, lizards to Sweetie as we walk. I think she is loosing her ability to see what is going on around us, or she just doesn't know to look for them. What I have to be aware of are the dogs in peoples yards. Even the little yappers that have a bigger bark then they are. It is an easy way to put Sweetie into a funk. Even when I tell her ahead of time. Words and meanings just don't mean anything to her. It seems that all reasoning is gone. 

I've bored you enough this morning, and Driver is here, looking as dapper as ever. He's ready and waiting for us to get going. He's got a twinkle in His eye, so I know He has nothing but good planned for us today. "On my way, be there soon" and so I'm gone. Got my cool sunglasses on, sliding into the passenger's seat, and with a roar from the mighty engine, we're off. Heading into the dawn, as we travel the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping the Shiny Side Up. May you have a day of Easter Eggs, as you come with us, as we go down the Road to Dementia Town, with you Keeping Your Shiny Side Up, too. Take care, Love Ya, and God Bless.   

Dementia wanted to boil over.

9 years ago. 

Coffee this morning is in my Grand Canyon mug. I don't use it often, it has a large base and a small top, I've pour coffee down my chin too many times as the coffee come out quickly. I'm here at 4:30 in the morning, getting in my quiet time and trying to think of what to say. 

There are times when the words come easy, I sit down and they flow out of my head and heart and then there are mornings like this one. Struggling to get going.

We are having a good few days lately. Last night was a night that seemed that Dementia was going to boil over and I was going to be the sheepdog again. Around 6:30 in the evening, I could see sundowners wanting to get out. So, off with the TV, on with the sandals, grab the keys and with a quick prayer out for a walk. We didn't go far, just a couple of times around our block. On the second time, she recognized our home and wanted to go back into it. 

These are the things that last year would of been a huge sundowner's explosion. She would have been out the door, going from house to house, wanting to get in, at the same time, wanting to get away from me. Her head would be spinning so fast she could not react fast enough. Back in the 50's there was a TV show and part of its intro, there was a cube filled with mice trips each with a ping pong ball on it. Then, a single ball was dropped into the cube, and the chain reaction. First one, then two, then pong, pong, pong, a flurry of actions until all the traps were fired off, then nothing. That my friends is how I see Sweetie when Sundowners grabs her and shakes her. It is the mice traps going off and all I can do is let them go until they are all fired off. If there is a good side to this, it is this, there is so much energy expelled, that she will have a good night sleep, and that is go for both of us. As I read this, I am so thankful for CBD. It has become a tool that I'm so grateful to have found.

You know, after a good night sleep, it means I need to have to hit the Road to Dementia Town with my Driver. When ever we are out, He makes sure that we stop to refill my empty tank. Each day I have to get a refill of patience, hope and love. He knows just where to get that refill as we travel down the road, Keeping our Shiny Side up. You can't get very far without a refill. I hope you find your refill station  as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town together, Keeping our Shiny Sides Up. Love Ya, God Bless.   

Dementia continues to mine her mine.

Even today, Sweetie will touch, feel, and smell the flowers. 

Dementia hasn't stolen that yet. Sweetie loves flower, plants, anything that God has planted, she will stop and take the time to feel the leaves, gently touching them, and if there is a flower, she will smell them. As Dementia continues to mine her mine and takes its ore away in the morning, it hasn't found that vein of values yet. 

Each day seems to become more valuable then the last. For I know she is moving toward that dark time when she will be just a body, an empty shell of the person I married so long ago. Last night was a night that I want to put in a capsule and keep forever. She was in one of those cuddle moods, holding my hand, smiling at me, head knocks, and little kisses. Whispers of "I love You." These are the times that make getting through a sundowner's worth it all. 

These are confusing times too. For as she forgets where the dishes go, she is now locking me out of the bathroom when she remembers and gets the urge to go. Then there are times when she is crying and needs my help. 

Lately, I have woken up after about an hour or two of sleep, and not sure if Sweetie is asleep. And with that comes the reason while she sleeps until late in the morning. She stays in bed, waiting for sleep, and when it comes, it is about the time I'm getting up. I think I might try waking her up earlier so she can go to sleep easier. An attempt to change anything will take some effort on my part. 

Effort on my part isn't hard when it comes to my time with my Driver. He's always around and ready to go. To start the time of fellowship, to listening to me just jabber on about this, that, and the other thing. He knows the Easter Eggs, he know when I'm in a slump and knows the words to say. I, sometimes I know when to shut up and listen. And that time is real soon. Gotta get going, and find my cool sunglasses, head for the door and what do I see, just the most beautiful, shiny car in the world. Into the passenger's seat, buckle up and off we go. Driving down the Road to Dementia Town, avoiding the pot holes as we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. That goes for you too. Pot holes, you can avoid them as you drive down the Road to Dementia Town, keeping your Shiny Side Up. God Bless, and I love Ya.

 

Walks, chores, and Mickey's Clubhouse.

Where else, the Huntington Beach Pier.

Did I step in it, you be the judge. Little bit off subject, yet, it isn't. As we are all experiencing the lock down, meetings with groups of people are frown upon. That includes my Alzheimer's support group. I just asked our group leader about setting up a Zoom meeting. And then volunteered to set it up. Talk about getting out of my comfort zone. I think a Zoom meeting is better than nothing. I know I sure could use one about now. 

Could Yesterday not have been a more perfect day? It was one of those days that say, you can do it, it's not that hard. Only had one sight moment that sundowners got ahead of me, and the lady was kind and helpful. 

We did walks, watched Mickey's Clubhouse, cleaned the aquarium, sat in the back yard watching birds come to our feeders and just enjoyed the day. By keeping one eye on Sweetie and the other on the clock, I was able to regulate her intake of CBD and water. Those two things help keep sundowners either away or limit its appearing. 

One of the things I enjoy the most is walking with her. Saying silly rhymes to her, having her look at me and smile, holding her hand or putting my arms around her when a dog will come and bark at us as we walk by. Those all to few moments when we seem to connect, that the love in her heart shines through. Those are the Easter Eggs that I cherish the most. Sometimes I'm glad that she is who and where she is, for I wouldn't know what to do if she was healthy. But, then again, it would be something that is unanswerable, for she isn't and I am, and this is now my life's mission. To care for Sweetie. 

My Driver told me once, that life without a purpose isn't worth living. That old saying is so true today. "Aim at nothing, and you'll hit it every time." With my Driver's help and advice, we'll make it to our destination, not Dementia Town, we'll find the joy of loving care. Speaking of my Driver, its time to join Him, it looks like it will be a great day on the road. He's got a cooler of refreshments, and so we're off. Got my cool sunglasses on, relaxing in the passenger's seat, watching the sun come up, as we head off down the Road to Dementia Town, keeping our Shiny Side Up. May you have a good day, as you navigate your day trip driving down to Dementia Town, keeping your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, and God Bless.    

Hopes for the day.

Ready for my retirement party.

Each day begins with hopes of some sort of sanity to it and each evening ends with hope of a same or better day then the one we just lived through. For I know, as Sweetie sleeps, a part of her brain is struggling to stay alive, or has died and will never come back again. 

Yesterday was a so different, she was edgy shortly after she got up, it seemed like nothing I did could calm her. It was our shower day. At one point she got out of the shower and I was afraid that we both would be running outside naked with me chasing after her, trying to get her back in the house. Before I could get her hair dried, she had to move, to get out of the house. 

We had just about all the emotional and physical experiences in one day. It was if her sundowners was going all day long.  She pooped in the shower, in her hand, she was out and then back in. Her emotions were up one side and down the other. The only thing she didn't do was wet the bed. She wandered outside, and didn't want me to be anywhere around her, and she just wore herself out to the point of crawling into our downstairs bed and taking a nap. After that, she calmed down for the rest of the evening. Even giving her extra CBD didn't seem to help. 

Her Dementia is like trying to nail jello on the wall. What seems to help one day, just doesn't help the next. The one thing I do know, is I will keep working at it. It does give me hope that each day will be less stressful and we can make it through. Because of the virus, I've really learned what daycare goes through. Though I think it is different because they are trained in caring and have activities to redirect the patients to help calm their behavior. Will be so glad to be able to participate in daycare again.

Time to get some relaxing time in for myself, and there isn't any better way than to go for a ride with my Driver. He's here and waiting for me to stop the key work. OK, I need this road trip big time. He's got the trunk open for me to take the worries off my shoulders and put them there, I won't need them on this trip, as we head down the Road to Dementia Town, looking for Easter Eggs, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. If you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, why not put them in your car's trunk, and enjoy your road trip, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Take care until tomorrow. Love Ya, God Bless.    

Incontinent, Potty training.

Lunch in Santa Fe.

It is hard to begin something that you don't know where it is going to end. I try to prepare myself for the day ahead as I am here writing about the day before and wondering what this day will hold. As Dementia continues to put darkness in her mind and as she continues each day, seeing the little things that she has forgotten. Simple things, those that I learned about in the Savvy Caregiver Class. Like not knowing about a towel to dry the dishes, or where they go. I've started to remove those unused dishes that we use for eating and cooking so she has less things to find or put away. As an example, I'll ask her to get, say, the milk out of the refrigerator for cereal or to drink with our meal and then stand next to her and point to the milk. 

On the Big Bang Theory, Sheldon has a bathroom schedule on the refrigerator, I've come to the conclusion, that I need to start regulating Sweeties bathroom trips. She has gone completely incontinent, or should I say about 95%. There are the rare times when she heads for the bathroom by herself, most of the time by the time I notice her acting uncomfortable, its too late. So, I'm going to start putting her on the potty twice a day to see if I can reduce her accidents. 

I ordered a couple of fitted sheets for our bed. Even with the pads, she will still get the bed wet. To make it easier for me, because I only have to wash the bottom sheet, I thought it would be easier to just change it, and then wash it later. Found that Febreze works great on those wet spots. Also, going to get some foam carpet cleaner for the pillow top mattress. Amazing the things I'm learning. It is true, necessity is the mother of invention, and in my case, learning on what to do and how to handle it. Trial and error, then try it again. 

If there is one thing that I've learned and is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow is my Driver. He is there waiting for me, holding the car door open, greeting me with a smile and a warm hello. He knows just what I need, and at the same time, He knows how to help me and just when to help me. I sometimes think He talks to me while I write this blog. For I'm looking at yesterday, and then I can see the Easter Eggs that I missed during the day. Thank You Driver. We're off, onto another day of smiles, kisses, tears and fears as we travail each day, driving down the Road to Dementia Town, and as always, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. May you find what I have found as you travel down your Road to Dementia Town, Keep your Shiny Side Up. God Bless and as always, Love Ya.      

Snow and what it did.

My Sweetie Pie.

Yesterday morning, woke to snow. It snowed most of the day, which by itself should have been fun to watch. Snow in April isn't unheard of, it is just not normal. For me it meant a challenge to keep Sweetie busy. 

She was good most of the day, and I made sure that she did her CBD and I even added the stress relief lotion. From now until June 21st will be difficult time. With the long evenings, sundowners will be at its strongest. 

Because the window I have, I get a good view of the season, the position of the sun when it comes over the Sandia's. Right now, it is like a laser beam, up over the ridge, into my room and lighting up the day. Each day, it comes up a little bit more north than the last sunrise. After June 21st, it will start it descend back south, and with it shorter days. The days may not seem shorter, they are, a few minutes less each day and by August, those minutes will add enough to shorten the evenings, that will lesson the grip of sundowners on Sweetie and me. I am looking forward to those shorter evenings this year, this winter, for I've learned and have more tools to help us through the rages of sundowners. With each passing day I keep trying new tools to help us get through this day and only this day. For I have to take each day as a special and unique day. 

Received a message from daycare, they are making plans to reopen on Monday, May 4th. Man am I looking towards that day. I don't know if the golf course will be open, if not, just being home alone for some quiet time will be welcomed. 

He's here, so early, and to tell the truth, welcomed. "Morning Driver." I know that whatever happens on our drives, I'll get something good out of it. Off we get, grabbing a jacket as I go, it is cold outside this morning. He reminded me of the Easter Eggs that were found yesterday, and, of course, he is right, there were many. Down the Road to Dementia Town we head, avoiding the pot holes as my Driver and me travel Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Not much traffic today, so we should be able to spot you as you too, drive the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, God Bless. 

A tool for Sundowners.

Sweetie at the VA.

I hope you all had a good Easter. Ours was uneventful, which was and is a good thing. After posting and doing my morning prayer and meditation time. I surrender to the fact that the weather meant a day inside. Which meant I'd have to find something that kept Sweetie's mind busy. 

I'm trying to help by making things simpler for her. I emptied out the silverware drawer and have only spoons and forks in the drawer. and only 4 of each. That way she isn't confused by looking at a empty drawer when putting them away. I'm slowly removing excess cooking utensils, soon pots and pans that are not used will be stored out of the way, again, to make it simple for her to help me do the dishes. Simple is good. I know she won't be able to help at all, when the time comes. I just want her to feel important, to herself, if nothing else. 

I've found that encouraging her when she gets something right is important to her. You should see her face when she does it right and I tell her what a good job she's done. I know it is the same with a toddler, and that is just about where she is. 

I've been thinking that it is about time for me to start putting her in nighttime diaper's. Or try to wake her up and take her potty. Even with the pads, she'll move off them and get the bed wet. I put one under the sheet and one on top so that if she moves off the top one, there is a layer of protection that might save the mattress. Then again, like all plans there seems to be the human factor. 

If I don't give her liquid, she gets dehydrated, and if I do, she doesn't make it to the potty most of the time. I used to get frustrated at this but by now, it is just a factor of her disease that I have to live with.    
We turned on Micky's Clubhouse yesterday at the time she has the most problems with her sundowners. It is like the magical bullet. It just allows her to focus and get involved. I'll be there with her, and as the show goes on, she smiles, and even tries to say the things that Mickey tell her to say. I love it. I don't know how long the stay will be at this point of her journey, I just know, it sure is nice to have a tool that will help her stay calm during those terrible sundowner times. Simple is good. I might even try Sesame Street. 

That just about does it for today. It is time for my Driver to arrive and I have to get going, still in my jammies. I know the drive will be good for me today. He's going to take a more exciting road today. I love rollercoasters and He knows it. I'm looking forward to it. Me and my Driver, wearing cool sunglasses, going around curves, up and down hilly roads, and as always, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. May you have a good drive today, as you motor down the road, Keeping Your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, God Bless. 

Sundowners, encouragement from an old friend.

Huntington Beach Pier. One of Sweeties favorites.

 

Two days ago, in the middle of sundowners running wild. I got a phone call from a friend of mine that I hadn't talked to in some time. Sweetie was heading for the door, and told him I couldn't talk just then, sundowners was off and running. It was later in the evening when I was able to return his call. 

He had been thinking about us, and wanted to see how we were doing and to pray with me.  Last time we saw him and his wife was on our return home after getting Tweetie. He told me that he was happy that they have a mental image of her from 2 years ago. Sweetie was still able to recognize them and hold conversations. It was good to hear from him. 

Had a interesting thing happen yesterday. Met a neighbor 2 houses down. She told me that she knew about Sweetie because she walk into her home, and with the help of another neighbor she knew of her Dementia. It is driving me crazy to think that I didn't know Sweetie had gotten out without me knowing about it. The good out of it, was another offer to watch her if I needed to get out for awhile. 

We had the most perfect day yesterday, full of Easter Eggs. We had just the perfect amount of activities. We walked, cleaned and dusted our bedroom, walked around the neighborhood. It seemed to be a day of refreshing. Sweetie was her loving a wonderful self again. 

I put out our hummingbird feeders, and we now have one feeding at them. The Sparrows are also after the nectar, so there is much activity which keeps Sweetie busy watching all the birds.  

I know that what worked yesterday, may or may not work for today. I'm going to attempt the same routine again for today. I just wish that we could have days like yesterday all the time. Dementia is like the weather, we have sunny days, windy days, stormy days and so on. I just have to see which Sweetie I have for the day, and plan accordingly. 

My ride with my Driver yesterday proved to be the right medicine for my frazzled nerves. There He is, smiling at me, I just wonder what He's up to. That is what I love about Him, always something new each day. Today will be no different. So, here we go, out the door and into the car we get. As we go, together, down the Road to Dementia Town, minding the speed limit, and Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. Enjoy your ride, even if you drive on the wrong side of the road, you too and Keep Your Shiny Side Up. Till tomorrow, remember I Love Ya and God Bless.  

War Movies, a Big NO NO.

Out of a hike.

Never know what will cause a sundowners episode to kick in. We were having a great day. The morning went well, she was a little cranky and just not herself. We worked through it. Normally she is easy to persuade to get her to do what needs to be done. Shaving her chin every morning can be a hassle. I have to sweet talk her into letting me put on a warm wash cloth to soften and moisturize her whiskers, then the shaving cream, and hardest of all, to keep her from moving while I shave her. Most of the time it gets done without problems. Then having her take the wash cloth and wipe her face as a way of washing her face. Then, brushing her teeth. We use battery powered brushes and she has a difficult time turning hers on and brushing. I take what I can, some is better than nothing. 

After our morning ritual, it was in the back yard to do some yardwork. Unless she asks what to do, I let her figure out how to help me. I think it makes her feel more like herself that way. I don't know about you, but when we were done for the day, I could see the difference and I told Sweetie that very thing. Told her how much help she was, and I could not of done it without her. She likes hearing that. Easter Egg. 

Now come the bad part. We went in to watch TV. One of the shows I wanted to watch was from the History Channel about WWII. Shortly into the show, about the Enterprise, she went bonkers. Weeping, and carrying on about the boys and she couldn't help them, and just scaring me. I was able to calm her down with CBD and lotion on her neck. Changed the show, watched "Coco" and that did the trick. 

Then I remembered that Dementia doesn't like violent shows. Even if it is in a historical show, Sweetie cannot tell the difference. The other part of this, is her dad was on a carrier in the Pacific during the war. She was just over whelmed and it was a great lesson for me. So, we are now going to watch a lot of funny, uplifting shows. We have Netflix, Prime, the Disney Channel, and a movie channel. Lots of good choices to choose from. 

After getting her back level again, we had a good finish to the day. There is an old saying about married couples, and with Sweetie it is so true for me today. It is, When Mama's happy, everyone is happy. The more I can keep Sweetie happy and level, the happier I am. And that my friends is one of the best Easter Egg of them all. 

Driver just told me to take my time this morning. He said there isn't any rush. I know He is just being kind and loving. He knew what we went through yesterday. Rest is sometimes the best cure. He is a kink and gentleman who looks out for the best for me. So, its time to shut this down, get going, "Now where are my sunglasses?" If I don't put them away in the same place, I can never find them. "Oh, there they are." OK, ready to go. Into the passenger side, glasses on, as we head down the Road to Dementia Town, not worrying about, potholes, detours, or traffic, that's because we have our Shiny Side Up. I hope you keep learning on how to find your Easter Eggs and Keep your Shiny Side Up. Enjoy your adventure as we travel the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Sides Up. Love Ya, God Bless.     

Gloomy evenings, long sundowners.

2012, Tucson, Navy Squadron Reunion.

 

I know I've said this before, so I'll say it again. Going through old picture albums and finding these pictures of Sweetie bring back so many memories. To see her strong, mentally alert, and alive and whole. You know, I really didn't know how much I love her until these days of her depending on me. In the darkness of Dementia, the one bright candle is my love for her. Even now, she can stop me and that love for her will grab me and I'm hers. 

Yesterday started shaky, I had planned for showers for us, Sweetie did pretty good. Got her hair washed, that is the biggest goal to get done, and washer her lower regions is even bigger goal. She has been getting red and tender on her bottom and I just don't know how to protect her. I've been thinking about a diaper rash cream. Prep H is good, helps a lot, not really made for what she is going through. 

We did some yard work and pulled weeds. Sweetie would help, then get anxious, sit down, then come back to help some more. I talked about this yesterday, her need to help over whelms her and it is in her nature to be helpful. Years ago, I used to get upset when she was helping me because I felt she was just getting in the way, now I cherish it. 

Two things about yesterday. The weather, it was blowing and raining so we couldn't go walking, and the long gloomy evening. Because we couldn't walk, we went on a car ride, just to get out of the house. Drove around for about an hour. Then the evening. It seemed to drag on forever. I was giving her some CBD oil about every 2 hours. She struggled mightily with her sundowners. To calm herself, she cuddled up to me, head on my shoulder, whimpering
about how dumb she is and how she isn't worth anything.   Oh how I hate those nights. Knowing that it is going to get worse as time goes on. 

If I know Dementia's patterns, I believe that Sweetie is about to move to a new place in her travels to Dementia Town. She's showing some attitudes that would make you think she is getting better, that sliding scale of degrees of Dementia. When I recognize it, it means she is getting ready for a move. Where she will land is yet unknown, I just have to be ready to adjust to her new normal. 

Golly, I've been rattling on and on and it is time to wrap it up. My Driver is in the kitchen getting a cup of coffee and is ready when I am. Of course that means, get your butt in the car and lets get this show on the road. I've learned to follow His suggestions, things always turn out better when I do. So, off again, down that Road to Dementia Town. Oh, yea, I did find some Easter Eggs yesterday. They came early in the day, yard work, if you can imagine. Tank is full and my Driver is eager to get going. Wonders to behold are waiting as we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. We always have room for one or two more if you care to join us. Just wave and we'll stop by. If not, make sure you keep an eye out for your Easter Eggs as you go, driving down the road Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Till tomorrow, Love Ya, God Bless.  

Screening, helping out.

My Sweetie. 

There are days and there are days to remember. Yesterday was one of those remembrance days. From the time Sweetie got up, until we went to sleep last night. It was also the day of timed amount of CBD, not systems, that seemed to make the difference. 

The day was a day of nothing special, who can plan special events in a self quarantine. I just knew we had to do something. I had a project to get done, and for a change, it was completed. I was able to get Sweetie involved as much as she can be. 

One of the things that has helped me with this, is this. She needs to find worth in doing. So, if she reaches out in her attempt to hold, open, lift, you get the idea, I don't brush her off, I allow her to do what she needs to do. Even if I could do it for myself or that what she is doing is a little bit inconvenient at the time, I let her do her effort in helping. Dumb stuff, like locking and unlocking doors, dividing up stuff to take out to the trash, what ever the chore, she has to help and when I realized this and let her help it makes our days better. 

We went to the screening for the Virus, and found that because we did not have any symptoms, we were good and didn't have the nose swabs done. We are now at the head of the line, if we show signs of illness. 

It was a nice day, so we took Tweetie out for that little spin. When we were going through the screening, people tell us how much they like Tweetie, and asked about her. When I got her, I did expect some fawning over her, but not this much. Tweetie is 15 years old now, and she gets a lot of attention. I would be lieing to you if I told you I didn't like it. I waited 50 years to get a corvette, and loving every minute of it. 

We watched "Jungle Book" and "Jungle Book 2" yesterday. I watched Sweetie smile and laugh as the movies played. After the movies, we took a long walk around the outside of our neighborhood. It was good for her, because she was getting bored just sitting there. You know that Dementia cannot sit still for 6 hours, it needs some physical activity. Walks are good, she gets to look at the clouds, and contrails. Then she tells me her story about them. All is good. 

Talk about all is good. Its time for me to get ready. I know my Driver will be here any second, if He isn't here already and I just don't know it. I'm sure it was His navigating our drive yesterday that made the difference in my appreciating everything that happened. He seemed to know just where and when to find Easter Eggs as we drove through the day. I'm ready for a copy of yesterday, as me and Driver drive down the Road to Dementia Town, keeping our Shiny Side Up. Need a lift, just give us a wave and we'll stop by. If not, remember as you drive yourself this fine day, Keep in your lane, and Keep the Shiny Side Up, that way you won't go wrong. Till tomorrow, Love Ya and God Bless.