Choose the biggest safe spot.

Bunch of Scots.

Went to the Highland Games a number of years ago. While waiting in line, found this other clan of Scots  and thought it would be fun to get a picture, and here it is. We always went too soon, and left early. Our interest was mainly for the Pipes and Drum marching bands. Just one more thing that Dementia has taken away. 

If I was to take an old shoe box, write on it "Memories of what we no longer do.", it would be over flowing by now. We are reduced to morning stuff, golf, walk abouts. and TV. 

What am I to do? For what I do with her is limited. It seems that, sometimes, Dementia has a strangle hold on us and when events come about, I have to weight the pros and cons of them. Will it be too much for her to handle? Will the rewards of going out weigh the stress she will go through? And what worked yesterday, will it work today? 

There is always that fine line between content and wanting to get out of there. Most of the time I know what is safe and what isn't and then I choose the biggest safe spot I can for our sanity. 

Saturday

Caregiver is coming this morning at 9, so I get some extra time on the course. I've been monitoring Sweetie and she is awake and moving. Time to get moving. 

Potty training is starting to pay off. She is getting more active, and seems to be getting the idea of what she is there for. 

After some success, we're in the shower, out, dried off and dressed. Time for breakfast. 

I see that she is at the front door, and I told her that I will leave it unlocked and she should come in. It worked this morning. With her arrival, I'm getting ready to leave. 

Put the clubs in Tweety's trunk, and away I go. I just love driving my Corvette. Like in the movie "Top Gun", "I feel the need for speed." The problem here is that the course is less then 2 miles away and I can only get a taste of what she can do. 

My golf buddy is showing up today, so I have time to spare. Get a bucket of balls, and do some warm up, after the bucket is done, on to the putting green. 

It was an average outing, one birdy, one par, and many blown shots. 

Home and Sweetie is sitting at the table, and she doesn't seem to recognize me at first. It is after the caregiver leaves that she warms up and smiles. 

Knowing that we have the rest of the day to kill, I make the move to get to the mall for our walk about. 

Once there, we start out strong. Sweetie is joining in our my make up songs. She is even making up her own ditties. (of course I have no idea what she is saying) I smile and try to join in. 

The down escalator isn't working so we head into the department store to use their down escalator. As we go, there is a spot where our shoes are squeaking, and I'm tell Sweetie, "Squeak, squeak, squeak." When a sales assonate hears me and joins in with I have a clack today. She is wearing her boots, and so, not to be undone, I tell her she is going clicked clack down the track. She smiles as we go our way. 

We are over halfway when Sweetie isn't engaging anymore. She is more on concentrating on her steps. So, it is encouraging time, and as we near the end of our walk about, she is ready to head for the car. 

Home again, we set up for the rest of the day. It isn't until about 4 when Sweetie gets in her nesting mood. That is fine with me. A dose of Happy Medicine, and she lays down. While I fix dinner. 

I've heard some many times about wives, moms, and men like myself, get so bored with dinner, that they just don't want to cook. Last night was one of those nights. I was even thinking of calling the daughter in law, seeing if we could bring KFC over and share a meal with them. No answer, means they're busy. Darn. 

Into the kitchen, and within 30 minutes, we have dinner. I'm cooking on automatic. Will definitely make a grocery run in the morning.

Dinner, watch TV, and to bed. It is earlier than normal for us. I'm just tired, and have been checking out eyelid theater all afternoon, so why wait. 

As we extend our time on the Road to Dementia Town, we are suddenly at the end of our day. Seems early, but why push it? Driver knows I need the extra rest, and, so, here we are. After another day on the road, Keeping Our Shiny Side Up, we're on our way to dream land. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.  Arthur.  

It is our "normal".

Sweetie at the Grand Canyon.

I had always told her that someday we would make the trip to the Grand Canyon together. It was our first wedding anniversary in retirement. I had gotten a log room for 3 days so we could walk around the rim of the canyon and she could get some idea of what I did on my hikes. We only stayed one night and had to go home then next day. If nothing else, I have the memory of making a promise and keeping it. 

It is the little things that make the biggest difference with me and Sweetie. Just knowing that she is eating well, that we are making it through another day together, and still sleeping together, and that is the biggest small thing we share. 

When we can sit side by side, holding hands, smiling at each other, with those love head knots, those are the special small things that seem to make everything as if it is normal. 

It is our "normal". Those fleeting moments where she remembers for a short time of who I am and who we are. For I know that when the handhold on those memories slips, and then they are gone. Than I too am gone for a short time. 

Where she goes, I know not. I know that it is time to try to help her find her way back to  me. When she does come back, I can tell. For she will be having those smiling eyes again. 

Friday

She no longer sleeps up and down in the bed. She is moving all over the bed, pulling the cover up or around her. There are few mornings that she wants to get out of bed. I could just leave her there, but what good would it do us? 

So, it is up and head for the bathroom. Close the door to keep the warmth in. We are now in potty training mode. For the past couple of days, she has had some small success and today was the same but bigger. The plan is to see if we can get a BM out of her that will keep her clean and dry though most of the day. 

I don't know about you, but to sit and do nothing for 10 minutes is hard. Because she doesn't know what her body is doing, I have no visuals to let me know something has happened. It is only when she gets off the potty do I see the evidence of our training time. 

Breakfast, and out to the golf course. Golf buddy is waiting for me, and off we go. The course is busy this morning, and we have a 3 some in front of us. As we finish the 3rd hole, they are waiting for us and allow us to play through. which was nice. 

Did get a birdy, a chip shot, over a hill, and it rolled to the hole. It was my grand come back and play again shot. There was also a par on this round, so it wasn't all in vain. 

Sweetie has been a great trooper again. She isn't wandering off, or complaining. I get her to drink some water as I play and all it good. 

After the game, to the walk about. We get our 2 laps in, but I can tell that she is tiring out. So we head home. Lunch and some quality couch time. 

Around 4 she cannot take keep her eyes open and heads for her nest. 

After dinner, we have a meeting to get to. Here is were I made a big mistake. Upon checking her before we left. I didn't change her pullups, knowing that I was going to do that when we got home and went to bed. Big miscalculation on my part. She soaked through and had a wet bottom about halfway through the meeting. 

Home we came, and non to soon. Upon getting her home, she had a movement and was a mess. Quick shower fixed that, clean pullups, and some Happy Medicine for help get through the rest of the evening. 

On the couch, watching TV, snuggled together we finished our evening. 

The Road to Dementia Town was a smooth ride, except when we drifted off the road. Drive would easily bring us back to the middle of the lane where it is smooth and easy going. So easy that we didn't have to work on Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.  Arthur.     

 

The Art of Marriage.

Blue skies with a few clouds.

Have you ever noticed that the weather report seems to accent the negative? It will begin with "Cloudy..." or "Chance of rain..." Why can't they say, "Sunny with..." or "Clear skies..." Even with the weather, to get someone's attention, it takes the negative to get them to listen. 

This morning in my meditation I came across this: "The Art of Marriage is in maintaining equilibrium through the various changes and adjustments to life together." I had to stop and ponder those words. 

The Art of Marriage, the phrase alone stabbed me in the heart. Was I doing all that I could to keep us together? Am I painting with too dark of colors? Is what I'm doing just a facade? Then I remember you and your comments that I'm doing a great job and to keep it up. 

I know that the windows of opportunity to improve my marriage are few and hard to open. So my job now is to make sure those window are kept clean, and can be opened to allow fresh air into the room. You would think having a successful marriage at this point in time would be easy, it is not. 

There is loneliness that only those of us who share this road together can understand. We are few, and we are banding together in places like this, for our sharing of the joys and sorrows of caring for our loved ones. The spouse, the parent, the life long friend that we have with us today isn't the one we knew growing together. 

When we are alone, in our closet, our private place, our fortress of solitude, we let our guard down, and allow that sorrow to sweep over us, and we let out our sorrow and cry. Not everyday, not all the time, just when the pain gets to the point of erupting and exploding all over everyone and everything, the need is then. To release the pressure, for we have to face it again, tomorrow. 

Thursday

I left out a tidbit from Wednesday. After our walk about, we headed for McDonald's for lunch. We haven't done that in such a long time and what a treat it was. Sweetie had her usual small burger with ketchup and mustard, I got a McRib! Messy, sloppy, and delicious. Sweetie gobbled hers right down, and we had a wonderful lunch. 

Back to Thursday morning. It started the normal way, getting her up a bit earlier because we had to be at the church by 10. 

The past few mornings, she doesn't seem to know me as much these days. It take some time for her happy medicine to kick in, and then the fog lifts and she knows me. 

Soon, breakfast is over and I'm busy getting myself ready to go. As she sits, I work. Dishes, make the bed, brush my teeth, and so on. 

At the Bible study, we are coming to the end of it. He is asking for suggestion as to what the next study should be on? I don't have any ideas, so I'll let the group make the decision. 

Went and played golf. It was breezy, and Sweetie did well. There are days when she is such a trooper. Being brave, staying with me while I continue to make bad shots mixed in with some good shots. My putting was so poor yesterday, I didn't even finish the 9th hole. Tomorrow is another day. 

Got home, and that was that. We stayed in for the rest of the day. Sweetie was in a nesting mood, and I let her be that way. 

After dinner, we went to a meeting, home and to bed. Finished the day cuddling, holding hands, and love flowed over us. 

Drove over the Bridge of Happiness today. I do believe it was the first bridge we cross while on these travels down the Road to Dementia Town. To see the gap between the ends of the bridge, to hear the tires sing along the road, and feel like a bird, floating in air. After that it was easy to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.           

 

Wind buffeting the car.

Looking across the Rio Grande Valley.

No rain this morning, just the blowing winds. Another day sitting inside, which meant, keeping Sweetie happy this day. 

It is days like these that I find educational. Not so much for her, as for me. To see just what she will do, and how to keep her from getting so overwhelmed with life, that she tries todo something that will harm her or the house. 

I'm amazed at some of the things she will do. Her walking, and then sitting in the chair and staring at me. If I don't suggest that she sits with me, she may just turn around and head for her nest. All I know is that I must keep calm myself. For once I loose it, it is reflected back to me in her reactions. 

Wednesday

Looking out my window, I see the trees and bushes dancing in the wind. This is early, and checking the weather report, the winds are suppose to die down in the morning and kick back up this afternoon. Leaving us with a small window of nice weather to get out of the house and play some golf.

So, I'm eager to get Sweetie up and moving. In the bathroom, she is becoming more coy about taking her clothes off, and letting me wash her privates. Even when I try to remind her that I'm her husband, her "Mr. Man", she still shies away from my touch. So far, I've been able to convince her that it is alright for me to touch her there, and with that she slowly allows me to wash her. 

Once done, the drying done, and her dressed, I have started putting some Stress Relief lotion on her hands and face. It seems to help her stay calm longer then just with CBD alone, and at the same time, she seems to like it. 

After breakfast, we sit on the couch and watch TV. I explain to her that because of the wind and cold temperatures, we are staying in again. I'm sure it is lost on her, but I tell her anyway. 

Its our sons 50th birthday today. I get the grand idea to give him a call to wish him a happy birthday. Before I call, I tell Sweetie what is going on, and that we are going to sing Happy Birthday to him when he answers the phone. 

Click, "Hello", and we begin. She is singing very softly, so I put the phone as close to her as I can, and we sing. She sang the birthday song, with some Dementia additives, to her son, I almost cried.  After we sang, I asked if he could hear her voice, and yes he did. Gift sent and received.

Later in the day, I made the decision to get out of the house and do some walking. Putting water in the car, putting an extra sweat shirt on her, out the door we went. I've found if I keep a bottle of water in the car, when we stop at red light, I'll open it, take a drink, and offer it to her, which she in turn will take a drink. It is a sneaky way for me to get her to drink water. 

The trees on the Bosque are in full fall colors. The reds, the golds, and yellow trees are a wonder to behold. Will just have to get out and get some pictures.

Get to the mall and quickly inside, we start our walk. Sings and making up rhymes as we go, Sweetie joins in, and I assume that she is trying to say the next stanza or just adding her version to what I'm expressing to her. Hoping that my answer fits what she is saying. 

Still not able to make it around without a stretching stop which means my legs are not whole, and at the same time, I can tell that they are getting better. 

I keep remembering how my long ago, I was feeling leg pain, and it was while I was still working. So the damage to my legs took many years to get my attention and now it will take time for them to return to a painless state, if ever. Oh well, life goes on. 

Home again, back where we started from, and working on the rest of the day. Sweetie takes to her nest, and I settle in for the rest of the day. 

After dinner, Sweetie wants to go to bed, so we head that way. For me it is just too early, and I stay up and watch some action movie. When I go to bed, Sweetie has moved over to myside of the bed. As I squeeze in, she cuddles me. A great ending to a good day. 

I could feel the wind buffeting the car, trying as it could, to push us around as we drove the Road to Dementia Town. All day long, and it didn't matter which direction we drove, it was there, pushing, battering, and kicking up dust clouds. Driver knowing the dangers, kept His eyes on the road, and we got to the end safely. At some points it was had but we did make it through and we kept our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.   

 

Fall has fallen.

The Sandia's 

Fall has fallen. The temperatures had fallen, the winds have kicked up, and there are sprinkling of showers. Not a good day for going outside. As the seasons transverse from summer to winter, there is the action of one not wanting to leave and one forcing its way in. With it comes the change, the battle of the seasons. 

The plants need their rest. They have been growing all summer long. At the same time, the earth doesn't want to give up the warmth of those last days. Cold, rain, and snow are on their way and with it comes the rest the plants need. To be covered, to grow unseen and getting ready to blossom in the spring. 

With the change, is also the Holiday time of year. With Halloween just a few days away, then Thanksgiving, and to end the year with the Christmas, New Years Eve and day. With it, the turning of the page, and a new chapter of life will begin. 

Tuesday

With the wind blowing and a phone call from my golf partner telling me that he won't make it out today, I let Sweetie sleep. 

One of the things that I've noticed is that when I let her sleep in, she pees through her pullups. That means that she is getting enough water and or liquids in her system. Dehydration is one of the many worries I have in taking care of her. With no demands on our time today. I let her sit at the table until she is heads back to her nest. Its going to be a long day. 

With the weather the way it is, cold and windy, I don't dare take her out of the house. What I worry about is how well she does today. I give her as much CBD as needed to keep her calm. Only when she gets radical do I worry. She likes the activity that we are used to doing. Out of the house for simple things, a walk, a car ride, and of course the golf course. 

As the day progressed, we had our times of sitting with me, up and down, to the nest and back. As evening approached, I became more vigil of her behavior patterns. More CBD, some lotion, and just wait. 

Dinner time, she came out, sitting on the couch, with me feeding her, we started the end of the day. She ate, then me, then dessert. Watch the normal late afternoon game shows, The Big Bang Theory, and found In the Heat of the Night to watch. Sweetie used to love watching it, so do I, and now we will have something else to watch. 

As darkness fall around us, we end our day on the Road to Dementia Town. Not many miles today, just a slow and restful day. So you would think that it was easy to Keep Our Shiny Side Up, and in reality, it was. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.  

 

Fall is a beautiful time in New Mexico.

Hiking the Sandia's.

Backing in my hiking days, I used to go  up the Sandia's to the TWA crash site. It wasn't an easy hike, filled with slips and going over and under fallen trees along the way. A good 4 to 6 hour hike. I've lead groups up and back. If I'm able to get back in hiking shape again, this is the hike I'm most looking forward to doing. The other hike on my bucket list is to do one more hike down and out of the Grand Canyon. 

I've always considered myself in "good health" when it came to good hard stressful adventures. I never considered myself a wimp, for I loved a good challenge. 

To some, hiking doesn't sound too stressful, or much of challenge to those that haven't done it. That is the way I used to think until I did my first hike down into the Grand Canyon. 

I did it with the wrong size of boots, no pre hike conditioning, and caring 30+ pounds of equipment and food. And not knowing that we'd be hiking for 8 hours just to get down to our campsite. That first hike had me hooked. Hooked so bad that for the next 10 years, whenever I heard of another hike being planned, I was there. 

That was a life so long ago. What we have now seems like a place holder. We do the same things day in and day out. Life goes on, and where it leads us day after day doesn't matter, for we always end up in the place we started from, home. 

Monday

Last night, I tried something new, put her to bed in just pullups. Kind of an experiment to see how she does. Sweetie is and has been for a long time, at a point where clothes don't mean anything to her. Like an outer skin. She walks, talks and sleeps in what she is wearing. Constantly reminding her to take off her shoes before she goes to bed at night. 

She used to get uncomfortable if she wasn't wearing her shoes, now she is adjusting to the point where if she isn't wearing them, it is OK with her. Because she doesn't wear socks, I try to get her out of her shoes as much as I can. I worry about athlete's foot becoming an issue. Funny isn't it, how such small infections become big worries at this stage of life. 

She is up, and dry. Time to get the morning duties out of the way, so into the bathroom we go. Letting her sit on the potty now for about 10 minutes, just sitting. I hope that she will become comfortable there and her body will do what it is meant to do. Only time will tell. Today, we got a small turd out and for me, that is a beginning. 

With fall coming on, I put two shirts on her, one short sleeve, and one long sleeved. Because we are heading out to the golf course, I don't want her to get cold, so the layer dressing is called for. 

On the course, fall is everywhere. Some of the trees have turned gold almost overnight. Fall is a beautiful time in New Mexico. 

The Rio Grande River runs through the town. We have the Bosque that has cottonwoods, willows and olive trees. This is the time when they are showing off their fall fashions. From the westside, we can watch the canopy go from green, to gold, to rust and then brown. Right now it is at its peak of colors and soon will fade away. 

I point them to Sweetie, and she smiles as I tell her that God is doing His painting. Dipping His brush in the gold and then painting the trees. She hasn't forgotten this most beautiful time of year. 

My game started out in my normal fashion, 3 over after the first two. Then came the streak of pars, and a birdy. By the time we came to the ninth hole, I was just three over. If I parred the ninth hole, it would of been my best round ever. 

My pulled my tee shot left, short chipped, yet was still able to putt from the fringe. I can see me bogging the hole with a two putt and save this magnificent round. It wasn't meant to be. Ended with a 7, and all I could do is laugh. So goes life. 

After the game, home for lunch and a nap for Sweetie. Had some bank business to attend to. Adding my name onto our groups account, and removing the last Treasurer's name. It isn't as it sounds. I first phone, got instruction and then got the paper work for my sit down in the bank, ready to get this all over and done when the banker informs me that the last treasurer has to sign the copy of the minutes of our last business meeting. The person on the phone, to my best recollection, never mentioned any signature. Being prepared in my mind that there would be something else todo, I calmly wrote myself some notes, and we departed. More work needs to be done. 

The rest of the day, did some grocery shopping, and home for dinner and then to a meeting. Home again, and went straight to bed.

Ever turn the corner and finding that you're on a straight stretch that seems to go on for along time? What is what it was like this day. Just down the Road to Dementia Town we went. Watching the glory of the trees go by, the soft greens, the bright golds, and some rust. What a day to be on the road today. For it was easy to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.         

 

Lingers in my memory.

Grand Canyon, a river runs through it.

Tis a better morning, this morning. How my day ends will usually be reflected by the way I feel in the morning. It is also a indicator of how I slept that night. 

Living with Dementia can be a very stressful way of life. Those times when nothing make sense, and all I can do is wait. Wait for a change in moods in Sweetie. It is in those times when she is walking around the house, checking windows, door, and up and down the stairs. 

I will greet her, hold her hands, and she seems to recognize me and then in a flash, that recognition is gone and off she goes. When she starts this behavior, I've found that if I put some Stress Relief lotion on my hands and when I can hold hers, and rub it on her hands, and, if I'm lucky enough, to put some on her cheeks, she will relax and come and sit with me. 

The thought of putting some on her cheeks just started. By telling her it is moisturizing cream to help keep her face looking young, she will let me put some on her cheeks. It seems to be absorbed quickly and takes action sooner then on her hands. I don't know why it works, I just know that it works, and works well. 

Sunday

It is shower day, my favorite day of the week. I get to get naked with my lover, and reminisce of days gone by. The intimacy that we shared when we were younger still lingers in my memory. For her, it is just a shower. 

Shampooed, washed, and dressed, I sit her down at the table, turn on church services for her to watch. Get the nail clippers out, and she gets a manni and a petti while she watches TV. Learning to angle the clippers up, just a little, to make them slide under the nail and causing less stress for her. 

It is Sunday, so that means a cooked breakfast, or brunch if you prefer. This time I added tomatoes to the meal. They are on the edge of getting too soft to keep, so in they went. 

Eggs, Tater Tots, smashed, Spam, chopped and diced, and chopped tomatoes. Made quite a lot of food. Then add hot biscuits and you have a meal to be proud to serve. 

She is eating quite well. Seems to be eating more these days and that is a good sign. She isn't loosing any weight, last weigh in, she was a pound or two more then last month. 

Our Sunday routine was changed with a round of golf. I haven't played on Sundays, just because it is Sunday. This day, we went because we didn't play on Saturday. Did OK, nothing to write home about. 

Home, nap, and then out for our walk about. Had to rest and stretch my legs twice to make it around. Sweetie wasn't in the best of moods during our walk. She even got mad and wouldn't hold my hand, and then in a couple of steps, she would grab my hand and held tight.

When we got home, she wasn't at ease with herself. She tried to sit on her nest, and then remade the bed. This becomes my time of going back in and remaking the bed. We do this from time to time. 

When the CBD and Lotion did what they were meant to do, we enjoyed the rest of the evening. Dinner, jello, and later cookies and milk. Then to bed we went. 

The Road to Dementia Town had plenty of sunshine most of the time. With a stop or two to get out and stretch our legs, it wasn't a bad day. There were good stretches and some not so good stretches. We did make it thou with Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur. 

 

Three Blind Mice.

The Grand Canyon.

I find myself emotionally frail sometimes. There are things that are going on in this world that makes me so damn mad, that it can ruin my whole day. I can't tell what they are, simply because the reasoning won't fit into this blog. It is meant to deal with Dementia, and living with it, not the other stupid stuff that is going on. 

Outside of that, or should I say skirting the issue. We had a good day. 

Saturday

I was watching but not paying attention to what Sweetie was up to while laying in bed. She had her legs up, and so I knew she was awake. Upon entering the bedroom, I found that she had pulled off her pants and pullups. She was like a child finding something in their diaper's and then smearing it everywhere. On her, on the top sheet, on the bottom sheet, and so it was shower time. 

On top of that, my sitter had cancelled because of family reasons, and I had made arrangements for #2 to fill in. She had forgot to tell her daughter, and she was now babysitting her granddaughter while her daughter was working. Oh well. 

Because of reasons I won't get into, I didn't play golf this morning. So, I tried another course, and when we got there, Sweetie had peed through her pullups. So, we headed back home. 

It seemed to be where I needed to be. Sweetie had been every active and we were down to her last pair of pants, plus the sheets needed to be washed, along with the bedspread. 

As it turned out, it was the right day for us to be home. I had the lawns to mow, and finish the laundry. Also I had time to flood the planter where I was going to transplant our Iris's.

When I felt Sweetie was ready and after the yard work. We headed for the mall and our walk about. I'd ordered a new pair of shoes for golf, and this would be a good time to break them in.

I was able to keep Sweetie smiling as we walked. Making songs out of children's rhymes. Like Three Blind Mice, and Hickory Dickory Dock and other silly stuff. All in the beat of a marching song. She smiled, she laughed, and she made up her own silly songs. 

Back home, she headed for her nest, and I did the rest of the laundry and watched TV. With all the extra items, ended up with 4 loads of laundry which is a new record for us. 

Evening came and with it dinner. Tried something different. Rice, veggies, and salmon. This time, I broke up a cube of Chicken Broth in with the rice. To give the rice a nice chicken flavor. When the rice was done, I poured the veggies in and mixed them together. Fried the salmon in butter. In the bowl, put a base of rice and veggies on the bottom, and salmon on top. Add a dash of teriyaki sauce and dinner is ready. 

As we sat and I fed her, she just kept wanting more. She had two bowls and then it was my turn. When I sat down, she still wanted more, and I was more then happy to give it to her. Where we would normally have some left overs, this time we didn't. Ate all that there was. 

We finished our day, in the lover's lane of life. It was overall a good day on the Road to Dementia Town. Even with the small detour in to the woods, we found our way back to the main highway for most of the days journey, as we worked hard to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.  Arthur.       

 

I was her Eeyore.

Dancing with my Beauty.

Took this picture when we last visited Disneyland. I couldn't help but think, this is how I feel I must look to her, yet, she sees me as her "Handsome Brute". She always saw more in me than I ever did. 

I was always calling her Miss Pollyanna. She was always looking for the good, while I was always looking for the other shoe to drop. What a pair we were. She was Christopher Robins and I was her Eeyore. 

Look at us now, because of the training I received under her toolege, I now have the tools to take care of that precious gift that was given to me so many years ago. 

Friday

It is something different that is planned for this morning. We have a funeral to attend. It seems strange that I'm not worried how this funeral will affect Sweetie. Will she understand? Will she get over run with emotions? Only time will tell. 

I didn't get her overnight pad on last night, and the results were as I thought they would be. She soaked through. No big thing, just take care of it. 

After breakfast, dressed and away we go. I was worried that we'd be late for the service. Right on time, we were. 

After the service, John was happy we made it. Thanked me for my text when he texted me about her passing. All was good. 

Was planning to go to the mall for our walk about after the service. When I noticed Sweetie was nodding off. She was tired and needed to rest. 

Got her home, and on to her nest she went. She was down for about two hours when I felt she needed to be among the living, plus I was lonely. 

Got up, headed for the mall and our walk about. She was a trooper, and when we finished our first lap, she was head down, trudging along, and I felt she was out of steam. So, only one lap today. Try for some more tomorrow. 

Home again. What to fix for dinner had been bouncing in my head. Came up with, macaroni, tuna salad, using mayonnaise as a dressing. Came out well, and she ate it. Followed with jello for dessert.

After dinner, she was getting cranky, so this time, I put Stress Relief lotion on her hands, and by the time we headed out for our meeting, she was relaxed and a joy to be with. 

After the meeting, we sat like old lovers do, on the couch, watching TV, and waiting for bed time. 

A good day on this, the Road to Dementia Town day. With some chance of rough road ahead, we drove with confidence that this too will pass. By the the end of the day, it had, for we pressed on Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.  Arthur.     

 

Built my life around.

3 amigos

What a day. There were ups and downs, joys and sadness. Thursday is the day we are on the run. It turned out to be the day of joy, surprise, and rest. 

I was reminded of how I take care of my precious treasure. That we don't just sit in the house, and watch TV from sunrise to sunset. That it is the because of the way we are out and about each day that is keeping Sweetie healthy. 

There are times when I envy the men that are housing their wives. For the freedom that they have. The ability to travel, to see other people when and where they want. Their responsibility of seeing them is for 2-3 hours a day. Even if they would miss a day, their wives wouldn't know it.

Here, I take care of my Sweetie 24/7 and I know her. I know her by her smiles, her slapping my hand away, by what she eats, how I feed her and dress her. She is the one that I've built my life around, and will until that life is no longer here with me. 

Thursday

It is going to be a busy day ahead, and more so then I could of imagined. For today is the day I fumigate the house. Bug protection is being applied. With that comes moving events around. I have to move both cars out of the garage, park the one we won't be using on the street, and get Tweety ready for Sweetie to get into. To get Sweetie out of the house, set off the canisters, and leave. 

With the foggers going off, we are in Tweety, heading to the church for our Bible Study. I'm not sure on how she is going to take the day. She is in one of her stone face disposition. So, she could go either happy or hostile. Just have to wait and see. 

At the church, I grab some cookies, and a donut for each of us. We haven't had a donut in awhile. She takes a bit, decides which one is hers and that is that. With some coffee, we settle in for the discussion.

As the discussion goes on, Sweetie becomes interested in what the pastor is saying, and suddenly when he asked a question, she answered. He didn't hear what she said, just that she said something. He asked her to repeat what she said, then remarked that it was the first time he had heard her voice. 

This is something special for her. She usually has to feel very comfortable first with her surroundings before she will ever speak. I was just beaming with joy that she understood and participated in the groups discussion.

After the study, we headed out to pick up the pizza and lunch with the son and his family. Sounds easy, until I see that the freeway is backed up. A accident most likely, so we take the city streets to avoid the traffic. That was the wrong move. 

It seems that every decision I made, seem to be the wrong one. Did have some fun on the drive. Many others watched, photographed, or in one case, made a video of us as they drove by. 

You would think, now that we have the pizza, and only about 10 minutes away from son's house, it would be an easy drive. Guess again. There is construction on the street, and the city workers have blocked off 2 lanes of traffic, of course. So we had to work our way through that mess. 

I was never so happy to arrive at our destination. About the only good thing about our adventure in traffic, was I didn't loose my cool. That way, Sweetie was in good spirits when she got out of the car. 

Lunch, conversation, the squabbling of the grandboys, and getting all caught up was just what I needed. There are those I talk with at the course, or meetings, but family, the roots run deep. I am able to talk with deep understanding and don't have to guard my words. It is the relief that I need to make it through another month. 

When we get home, I have to clean up the foggers, and air out the house.

Once inside, Sweetie get a dose, it has been far too long since her last one, and I get to pay the price for that. She has been so good, from the time of her getting up, to the Bible study, through all the traffic, lunch, and to the mall for our walk about. 

Still having difficulties making the full two laps. With a couple of rest stops, we make it through to finish our walk about. 

Sweetie heads for her nest, and that is the where she stays. She came out a couple of times, got a does of happy medicine, and then went back to bed. She came a sat with me for a few minutes and all seemed to settle in. 

Had to go to a meeting, and she didn't want to go. Understandably for her. I kept watch on her, and found her in her nest. Got home, remembered she didn't have her overnight pad, thought that her sleep is more important then the pad. Let her sleep. 

Driver had His hands full today. Backed up traffic, crazy drivers, and construction. We made it through to the finish line for the day. The Road to Dementia Town was ripe for a mishap if He didn't take extra care. We made it through, it was a difficult day, yet we were still able to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.

        

Slowly fades into eternity.

Love of my life.

She has to be, for if she wasn't, she soon would be. The love of my life. I can still remember the day I saw her, over 40 years ago. I was struck with her, and I thought that we would never be a couple. 

You see, we were both married to our ex spouse and we both didn't have any notion or idea that would ever change. In the years that followed, we both suffered a divorce. By that time, we had lost contact with each other. 

Then there was that faithful day, when I went into an account to work on a new copier, and she was my contact. We were so happy to see each other it was amazing. I took her to lunch, and when I brought her back to work, our good bye wasn't just a handshake. 

It was shortly after that, her mom had a stroke and she was too emotionally upset to have anything to do with me, and I understood. I tried different relationships, but nothing stuck. 

Then the faithful day at the ballpark, where I had season tickets, and one of my partners brought her as his date. When I met her, the kiss we shared was fill with such passion and promise. I could tell, I was in love with her and couldn't wait to get her alone in my arms. We have been together from that day until now. 

I had to wait for the best in my life to happen, and now, I have the joy of taking care of that love as she slowly fades into eternity. 

Wednesday

Time to use some persuasion to get Sweetie up. She sees me but doesn't know me. Time to introduce myself to her, use terms of endearment that she gave me years ago. Those are still in her memory, and they bring a smile on her face as she reaches back to find them. My heart reacts to her smile. 

She gets up and gives me a hug and a kiss. Off we go, to get another day started. 

This morning, for whatever the reason, I give her a cup of coffee. It is waiting for her as she sits down. I thought it might help her bowels, as a stimulate. What happened was something that I didn't expect, a perky pick up in her personality. 

I got a boat load of smiles and conversation in Dementiaese. On the course she was just a joy. There are two ladies that have decided to become friends with Sweetie. I see them all the time on the course, and they have taken the initiative to become involved in our life.

They are just too wonderful ladies that see us on the course, and wanted to know us better. I don't know where this will lead, it just nice to see Sweetie's face shine when they come around and greet and talk to her. 

I had another double birdy day on the course which made my day. Ended up shooting a 35, a good score for me. I'm setting a new goal to shot par by next year. 

After the round, and home for lunch. Sweetie was worn out, so I put her down for a nap. She stayed in bed for most of the afternoon. 

While she was napping, I got Tweety out and made a run to the grocery store. You see, this is the time of the year that I fumigate the house and garage. Use those insecticide fogging bombs. I do the whole house and garage, twice a year, fall and spring. We don't have bugs in the house since I started doing it over 5 years ago. 

We are going to be out of the house with Bible Study and Pizza day with the grandsons. Best time to do it. 

While at the store, a gentleman stopped and asked about Tweety. He was so excited to see a new Corvette up close. Asked if he could look at her. Of course, I was more than happy to show her off. Made my day. 

Later in the day, I was able to get Sweetie out of bed, and on to the couch with me. We had a early dinner, which turned out to be the best timing on my part. For shortly after that she went back to her nest, for the rest of the day. No matter how I tried to get her to come and sit with me, she wasn't moving. She seemed content to be on her nest, so I left her there.

I was able to get her up for dinner and dessert. Then she made up her mind that it was time for her to go back to her nest and stay there. And that is how we finished our day, Sweetie on her nest, and me on the couch watching TV. Not a bad way to end the day, for all is well.  

Driver knows contentment when He sees it. That is the best way to end our day on the Road to Dementia Town, being content. I maybe in the front seat with Him, and Sweetie is in the back seat. She isn't with me, but she isn't alone. For after all, she was more than doing her part of Keeping Our Shiny Side Up today. Until tomorrow, C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.      

 

This path of Dementia.

Blue skies ahead.

Hear is a view most people get when they come upon Tweety. If they are going the other way, it is just a flash of yellow, then gone. I just enjoy when other drivers come up from behind, slow down, and slowly pass us by. 

That feeling of having something special is so good it is hard to describe. It is like having a sunrise all to myself, even though, anyone who is up at that time, can see it. I know that I'm not the only one seeing it, but for some reason, I get the feeling that this sunrise is for me and me alone. That God is saying to me that I am special in His eyes, just a reminder that He is always with me. 

Those are the special times that fill my heart and mind with the compassion that is needed everyday as we walk this path of Dementia. I need a daily dose of His Wisdom, Grace and Mercy to carry me through. For there are days when it is only His grace that allows me to end the day in prayer saying "Thank you for this day." 

Tuesday

Here we go again. She is awake, but doesn't want to get up. So with some encouraging, and prodding, I get her up. 

I know that today is going to be a difficult time in the shower washing her privates. Not only is she sore, at the same time, she is getting modest with me. As she digresses, the simple act of washing her private parts is an invasion of her privacy. Which makes sense, because she is forgetting that I am her husband and that area of her body was our playground.

After breakfast we get ready for today's round of golf. It is getting to be fall weather, and with a breeze, I get her ready. As it turned out, I didn't do a very good job planning for the breeze. 

She got cold right off the bat. Even with the sunshine, it didn't help. The longer we were on the course, the colder she got. Call the game after the third hole. It was enough for me, and she needed to get out the wind.

Off we went to get our walk about over with. The new shoes are helping, but they are but a tool and it will take some time for me to heal my aching legs. We got one and three forth laps in before I had to give it up. 

Today, she is in one of her stone face moods. Not happy, not sad, and definitely not smiling. That sometimes is a signal that she isn't all there and it worries me. When Sweetie isn't smiling, my guard goes up. 

When we get home, she heads for her nest and she stays there. I got her out for a early dinner, she wasn't interested. Got her to eat some, not enough for me to be satisfied with her intake. 

I think the movie we were watching cause her emotional stress. We watched "The adventures of Robin Hood" with Earl Flynn. There was just too much swordplay for her. Then I tried "The Wizard of Oz", the the beginning was too stressful for her. Then we tried "Wall-e" and before we could get into it, she was off to her nest again, and out for the night. That is how we finished our day. It wasn't the best, but it could of been worse.  

Sometimes the roughest part of the day, is pulling into a parking lot that has a bunch of speed bumps and pothole. Driver was carefully navigating around them. The driveway seemed to go on forever. Even off the Road to Dementia, there are challenges to overcome. That's fine, as long as we do our best to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.    

Just another day on the Road to Dementia Town.

My Tweety

There is more to my life then Sweetie. Tweety is a place that moves me. I can get in her and be as free as the air we travel through. Did a photo shoot the other day, so for a few days I'll be spotlighting my Corvette. 

Don't worry, Sweetie is still number 1. It is one thing to talk about Tweety then it is to show her to you. 

Being away from a loved one can be the break that is needed to keep the freshness of my love for Sweetie alive. I've learned to accept that this is as good as it gets. For tomorrow might bring a new low, so I've learned to enjoy each and everyday. 

Got a text from a friend yesterday that his wife had passed. Found out that she had fallen, and broke her hip. It was after the operation to repair her hip, that she passed. I've known John and his wife for several years. We met at the Rehab center, when I used to give a message once a month. 

John was the one that got me to join the men's support group. They were the cuties couple. John was the gentlest man I've ever known. I wonder just how long he will last now that his love is waiting for him. If you don't know, some of the things that I write are inspired by him. 

Monday

Sweetie doesn't want to get up this morning. Have to push and urge her out of bed. When we get to the bathroom I find out why. 

She is trying to have a bowel movement and doesn't know how to push. She moans and is in pain. I try all I can to help her. After about a half hour she is somewhat successful. So into the shower she goes, cleaned up, dried up, and when we are putting her pants on, she struggles to push her foot through the pantleg, and at the same time pushes out some more. Success.

Continuing with the prune juice before the meal, it seems to be working it magic. 

We head for the golf course, where we meet up my golf partner, and have a new person join our group. What was nice, is that he asked if he could join us instead of me asking him if he'd like to join us. 

He was a good golfer and told us he has seen us at the course before. I guess we are getting quite the reputation. 

Sweetie was just as bubbly as she could be.  Smiles and just a joy to be with. 

Home, lunch and a nap. After the nap we headed for our walk about. It didn't work as well as the day before. My legs started hurting, and even with a few rest stops, I couldn't finish our two laps. I know the new shoes are helping, it is just going to take some time for them to heal. That is what I'm hoping for. 

The evening was a different story. It was when we returned from my evening meeting, I put her in the bathroom to put in her night pad. That is when I discovered that she had a messy BM. Had to put her in the shower it was so bad. Even then, she would barely let me wash her, she was so sore. Got her out and put some A&D lotion on her, and again, she fought me for the pain. Guess I better not give her any prune juice for a couple of days. Let her firm up a bit. 

Just another day on the Road to Dementia Town. Filled with bright spots, some cloudy spots, and then there is always the promise of tomorrow waiting for us. As we go, Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.  Arthur.