In like a lion, out like a lamb

At the zoo, sitting with her favorite animal. 

Here we are starting in the month of March. In like a lion, out like a lamb. This is one of the those sayings that baffled me most of my life. I wasn't a keen observer of the obvious. Because of all the renderings and innuendos, it was years before I figured it out, it was the weather. Cold and windy at the beginning and warm and spring like at the end. Boy, did I have it wrong. 

I have to think that sometimes I feel like March when it comes to this stage of our lives. When we went and had Sweetie diagnosed, I have to tell you it wasn't an easy for me to swallow.  I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Looking for an easy way out. Away that I wouldn't have to be doing what I'm doing now. I was asking questions like, how much longer will I have to take care of her? What are the steps or stages of this "thing" that we have to look forward to? 

I wasn't ready for, didn't even wanted to, or even if I could, escape from the next 5, 10, 15 years of caring for a woman who would soon not know who I was, and in most cases wouldn't care if I visited. I wasn't equipped emotionally for this job. I was a very self centered man, a man that wanted to be in charge of my world. I thought I was the captain of my vessel and could handle any sea that came my way. This was not on the horizon, but here it is, and just what am I going to do with it? 

I did, what I'm finding out isn't what some people didn't or haven't done yet, what came natural to me. I got educated on what was coming so I could get out ahead of the curve. The realizing that Sweetie would become baby like as time went on. The reversing of being a well person to a baby in an adult body. With that, I had to become the parent of this child. Remembering what it was like caring for my daughters when they were in diapers. So far, we are coping well. 

How well am I coping in this role? Well, this blog is part of this coping, learning that it is OK to take my wife into a restroom and in the privacy of the stall, take care of her and clean her up when "things" happen. Not to be embarrassed when she starts to talk to strangers and when they get that "What in the hell is she talking about?" look in their eyes. For this is now my world, and I have to make the best of it. The best comes from knowing and knowing comes from learning. I choose to learn because it makes our life as pleasant as possible. 

Yesterday, we went to the "Fiery Food and BBQ Show". I was hoping we would have a good time walking and tasting all the goodies we could. My biggest fear was that Sweetie would panic when in the room the crowds would upset her. I was wrong. She did quite well. To tell the truth, I was the one that wanted to leave earlier then I planned. I couldn't take the crowds. It was people on top of people, working, merging, rubbing up against each other in the quest to taste the different hot sauces. If you've never been to a Fiery Food show and if one is near you, and if you like fiery foods, it is fun. If nothing else, just to see the people who you may have never thought would like that burning sensation while eating, going through the lines and getting after it. 

Then we went to a walk around at the mall. Saturday is a big shopping day, so the mall was alive with people. Sweetie enjoys watching the families with small children, she stops, points, and smiles. As we walk, I sing to her made up songs. Simple songs of Sweetie, Sweetie, love you, love you. Sweetie, Sweetie, Baby, Baby. She likes my minor songs because she knows they are about her. I can always find a Easter Egg there. 
  
Wow, the clouds over the Sandie's, turning red, gold, and some are still gray. Day is dawning, time is at hand, and me and my Driver will soon be on our way. We have one schedule stop ahead. Got to deliver a message this morning, then on our way. Down the Road to Dementia Town. Does this seem like a Hope & Crosby movie? The big difference is that we will be driving down the road, with my cool Sunglasses on, keeping our Shinny Side Up. New month, turn the page, and we'll catch you on the Road to Dementia Town, as you too keep your Shinny Side Up. God Bless.