Miss the freedom.

Foothills of the Sandia's.

A few years back, when I was still able to go out on my own, I'd head for the mountains, go hiking, and this is some of the scenery I would see. 

I miss the freedom that we had with each other. We lived a life that allowed us to do things on our own. Now, with the way things are, it is like I am now making up for all those times I would leave her alone. Now I wonder what she did while I was off doing "My Thing." The way things are today, the constant attention she needs, the inability to leave her alone, can become a heavy weight on my heart, if I let it. 

I'm still of the mindset that it isn't her fault the way she is. I'm not the reason she has Dementia, though sometimes I think that, driving her crazy sometimes could be a factor. It is just the way it is, and I have to appreciate the time I have with her. 

There are times that I think she knows what is happening to her, and she cries. When that happens, all I can do is hold her close to me and tell her that I love her, and that I'll never leave her. It helps, it doesn't stop the hurt. 

Wednesday

It was cold and windy. A bad day for any outside activity. Sweetie just doesn't handle the wind well. For one thing we wear hats and the wind keeps tugging at hers, and it scares her. Then there is the wind-chill, causing her to get cold, brrrr. 

We spent the day watching TV. After the fiasco from the day before, I was very careful on what we watched. We are now going through the Winnie the Poo movies. She likes them, and will even comment on them. 

Most of the day was enjoyable, it was in the evening that she began to get restless. Again it was when I left her and started cooking dinner. She would get up, go to the bedroom, back out into the kitchen, and repeat. 

As I've said before, we are taking in smaller meals to get her hunger up. It worked last night. We had mac and cheese, gave her her normal portion, she scarfed it down. For the first time in forever, I gave her another helping, and it too disappeared. We ended the day on a high note. 

Easter Eggs are abundant, when you look for them. Yesterday was a day of plenty. Driver found a field to stop at, and we got out and found the Easter Eggs that were there. Such a Sneaky Guy Driver can be. I never know where we are going to stop and get out and what is waiting for us. As we travel down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.