The miracle drug.

New way to wear her hat.

 

There are times when she will do something that is either by mistake, or by plan, that will bring a smile to my face.  

 

As we were getting ready to head out. I couldn't find her Angels hat, so I got this one out. This is how she put it on, with the wide brim in the back, and the turned up in front. Looks good, which goes to prove the point that with some hats, there isn't a bad way to wear them. 

Sunday

It was a big learning day for me. More about what I should be doing, and not what I shouldn't be doing, it is with her CBD. 

 

I've been waiting for her to get up and out of bed before I give her any Happy Medicine. It is becoming more obvious that I can't do that anymore. Especially when I think I'm letting her sleep in. Even though she isn't with me, she is still burning through what CBD is in her system. 

 

Sunday morning was the teacher for me. Because Sunday isn't a big to do day, I will let her stay in bed until 10 or 11 in the morning. That is when I will give her her first dose, when I want to get her up. 

 

This was the day, that she was totally out of it. And at one point, I was giving her CBD almost once an hours. Each dose made her a little easier to manage. It wasn't until I had given her at least 4 doses did she finally come back to me. 

 

I don't know where she goes, I just know that it isn't where I am. I know that when I ask her if she knows me, and I get a blank stare, she is on the dark side of Dementia, and it is drawing her further away from me.

 

I was able to bring her back, so that we could sit and hold hands until it was time to go to bed. I love it when I see those blue eyes smiling at me, and she tells me she loves me, is all the assurance I need to know that I have found the miracle drug CBD, though it isn't a cure, it sure is the next best thing to it. 

 

Driver did His best to insure us a good day on the Road to Dementia Town, but it was my mishandling the time that got us off to a wobbly start. It didn't take long for us to be in the grove, and so we were moving right along, Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.

 

   

 

Going to bitch.

Brothers and sister.

As the years roll on, the family grows smaller. We are at the spreading of her oldest brother's ashes. Out of the 5, these three remain. I don't talk to them much, yet we still do stay in contact. One reads the blog, the other, we exchange calls once or twice a year. 

I'm going to bitch a little here, so be warned. 

The other day, I received some pictures from Sweetie's cousin. Old pictures with a note that she might enjoy them. Sweetie didn't even know who they were, and they were of her and her family. 

Called the two daughters and asked if they would like them, and, of course they would. So, dividing them up, mail them off, and waited. I received a text from the one I thought would respond, and so far, crickets from the other. This is what I thought would happen. 

Saturday

Respite Saturday. There are times when I don't realize just how much I look forward to them. My spirit is up, and it is almost like Christmas morning. 

Eager to get going, and seeing that Sweetie has her eyes open, time to get in there and get her going. 

At first she seems eager to get up, then again, when I remove the blanket, and try to get her to move her legs, the battle begins. 

After moving her, we are on the potty. This time, I'm letting her just sit. to see if she can relieve herself. For this, I am rewarded. 

Breakfast, and now waiting for my caregiver to arrive. She is bring with her, two of her children, which I think is great. Sweetie loves being around little ones. 

The boy wants to see Tweety, and so I have the garage door open for them, and so I can show Tweety off. Worked like a charm, and the boy was impressed. 

With the changing of the guard, I'm off. Oh how I love my Respite Saturdays. 

While on the course, I've been thinking about what I'm doing to cause me so much difficulty lately with my swing. I've decided to change the timing of my weight transfer, and it seems to help. Now, to work on it and make it more of a natural swing, which of course will take me the rest of my life to perfect. 

Chanced my stance while putting, and it seems to help. So now I have two improvements to work on. 

Get home, take the boy for a spin in the corvette, and talk business with my caregiver. We are discussing about respite care for Sweetie, what I need to do, and make arrangements so she can see her while I'm gone. We talk about her oldest daughter, who might want to sit with Sweetie over the summer, will have to wait and see how that works. 

After we say our adios, I get Sweetie up and out for a walk. Taking Tweety this time. After the walk, we go on a long road trip, and enjoy the time away. 

The trouble, and there always seems to be a fly in the ointment, is that when we get home, she doesn't want to get out of the car. Most of the time when she gets into her Dementia stubbornness, I can physically take her by the hand and get he where I want her to be. In the car is something else. A small confined space, and a mule like stubbornness makes for a difficult removal process. 

I do get her to move and get out of the car. Once moving she is easy to direct. First things first, CBD is called for, and with it, a hope for sanity to return. We are also at the beginning of her Sundowners behavior. 

As she first lays down, then she is up, and every time she gets up, I give her a dose of Happy Medicine. It takes about 3 to 4 dose before she can overcome her sundowners. 

Once she is "Human" again, we have dinner. We are having leftovers from our KFC night. As she eats what I gave her, she seems to be still hungry. Give her more food, and then still more. She ate more than I've seen her eat in a long time. Then, without a notice, she is up and back into her nest. 

For me, it is just time to sit and wait. To see who comes back out. And it is Sweetie, in a confused, "Where am I?" look on her face. 

I get her to sit with me, and we sit and watch TV until the time to retire. 

Over all, Driver was able to avoid the rough spots in the Road to Dementia Town today. Heard some road noise, but that was just about all. So for the rest of the trip, we were able to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.     

Twinsies.

Twinsies.

When I was this, a twinkle came to my eyes. When we were first married, and for many years to follow, Sweetie didn't, wouldn't hear of it, or even attempt to wear the same cloths, same color, same whatever. We were different, and therefore we would dress differently. 

You see, when she was a child, her mom made them wear the same stuff. Her mom made most of their clothes, and therefore, they looked alike. As an adult, she made sure that didn't happen again. 

As you can see, as the years passed, it came quite normal for us to buy tee-shirt that had the same message or patterns on them. As evidence of this picture. I felt we were becoming one in mind, spirit and love. 

Friday

It looks like another beautiful winter day out my window. Pondering whether I want to take Sweetie out with me, or let her stay home. 

For the past couple of nights, I have been taking her sweatshirt and pants off bdfore she gets into bed. For some reason, she seems to sleep better with less cloths on then more. Plus, she is easier to get out of bed in the morning, which makes me think we should of been doing this all along. Then again, maybe her Dementia wouldn't let me do it. 

Anyway, it is time to get going. In with a smile, and happy morning greeting, and she seems to be happy to see me. 

Open the blinds to let the sunshine in, sit on the bed, "Hi, I'm Arthur, your husband." I have a monologue that I tell her, that she has been sick, that she is getting better, and that I am taking care of her. I will tell her this everyday until she goes home. 

I want her to think that she will be well again, and have a positive mindset during the day. It helps me too, for I am acting "as if" this is true. 

Into the bathroom she goes. Something that I think will help me. I do believe she doesn't control her sphincter and because she cannot stop herself from pooping, it comes out like she takes in her food, one bit at a time. 

Right now, all the prune juice I've been giving her, has allowed her to eliminate all the time. Which has it good and at the same time, the bad. As for me, I just deal with her having a dirty bottom all the time. Some wipes work, than again, a shower is called for. 

Anyway, with bathroom duties over with, and breakfast on the table, we are getting the day started. I may cut back on some of the fruit and see if that will firm her up a little. 

She doesn't want to come with me, so off I go. Watching her on my phone, and walking the course. Two things that are becoming a mainstay these days. 

Golf was so-so. Got my mandatory par, a couple of missed birdie shots, and many a missed putts. 

Home, Sweetie is on her nest, so I leave her there and turn of some of my TV shows, those that are too intense for her viewing. 

Soon she is up, and sitting with me. Not for long, as we head out to the mall for, you guessed it, our walk about. 

Home again, and all is going well. Have dinner planned, and we have our "Birthday" meeting to go to. We get cake and ice cream, as we celebrate birthdays at the last Friday of the month. 

Home, undress, and into bed we go. Holding hands, cuddling, our prayers and to sleep we go. 

A good outing this day on the Road to Dementia Town. No surprises, no detours, just a nice outing, as the miles pass, we kept our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

 

The flag is up.

Hawaii, 2017

No reason for this picture. Something that reminded me of a good time we had. If I could, I'd pack up right now, put us on a plane and head there again. 

Last time I looked for a place to stay in Hawaii, I found a bungalow on the north side of the island for less then $100 a day. Nothing fancy, but on a lagoon. For something like that, I'd be there for about a month. Just to sit, with Sweetie, on the beach, reading, lounging around, with nothing but time to do. Maybe, I'd plan on something like that, as a memorial. 

Thursday

As they say at the horse racing track, "The flag is up." Meaning the race is about to begin, and so my day with Sweetie is about to begin. 

Years ago, or a lifetime ago, used to go to the horse races. At the beginning of each race, the announcer would say those words, "The flag is up." People would stop whatever they were doing, head over to the rail, or some viewing advantage point, to watch the horses launch from the gate, with the words "And their off." For the next 60 seconds or so, all you could hear were the hooves pounding the track, and as the announcer was calling the race, the cries would soon come up. "Come on so and so," As they rounded the turn heading for the finish line, the crowed would start their cheering, their encouraging, the moaning as the horses cross the finish line. The cheers by the winners, the moans by those whose horse didn't cross the finish line, in the money, and then the wait for the next race. So it would happen all over again. 

That is how I feel sometime. Different day, same stuff. Life is like that with Sweetie. Doing the same thing with her, the difference is does she remember me, the house, the TV show? Any or all of these things. 

I know a routine is best for her, habit is a worn spot on the brain, so that even if she doesn't remember me, or where she is when she gets up, she will remember the routine.

This morning was just like all the others, walk in, give her her wake up dose. Greeting her with my introduction of who I am, and wait to see if there is a twinkle of recognition. My day will go according to that twinkle. 

Most of the time, it is now, pulling the blanket away from her, struggling with her to get out of bed, and when she gets her feet on the ground, she seems to come out of her Dementia slumber, and remember what we are doing. 

For it is same o, same o. And to get the first choir done, cleaned and dressed, and out to the table for her first meal. 

As always, she eats a good meal, and now is watching TV. She is so concentrated on the TV, that she doesn't even know I'm in the room and could care less. 

Knowing this, and also knowing that she will stay there as long as the show keeps going, I'm off. 

Today, I get a cart, just don't want to walk the course. Had a bummer of a round, but still did get a couple of pars, had some "should of been on TV." shots and putts. 

When I get home, she is still frozen in time. Doesn't recognize me, or even responds to my greeting. 

Have to make a run to the bank, and this is where I get Sweetie to move. She doesn't want to do anything, so I persist. Fighting her resistance until she moves, and that is, again, an awaking from her Dementia slumber. 

She smiles at me, like "Where have you been?" smile, and comes with me willingly. 

In the car, the Sweetie of old shines through. At the bank, she is just a face-full of smiles, and so while we were at the bank, which is at the mall, why not take the oppertunity to take a walk about. We do, and it is done. Yea. 

Went to KFC for dinner. Brought it home, and we had chicken, mac-n-cheese, and coleslaw for dinner. Leftovers for later. 

TV, meeting, and home to bed. To tell the truth, I was hoping that she would be in one of her "Loving moods". She wasn't and that is good too, so with a prayer, a kiss, to sleep we went. And the horses crossed the finish line. 

Just another day on the Road to Dementia Town. Driver behind the wheel, Sweetie and me in the back seat along for the ride, watching the other cars go bye, Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.   

 

The beginning of the end...

No snow, just clouds.

The weather report was for about an inch of snow in town, in the morning. Well, this is what we ended up with. Clouds, some snow on the Sandie's, which is what me and those of us who live here, thought we'd get. 

The weather patterns are changing. We'd use to get two or three snow storms by this time in years past. Not so much anymore. It appears that we are in for another dry winter. 

Wednesday

Have a video call with her doctor this morning. After talking with a person about hospice care. I was informed of needing a doctor's order to allow them to give Sweetie her CBD. 

The wonders of modern day technology allows us to have that conversation. It was good to see each other. We have been doctor/patient for over 25 years. Can't say that about a lot of relationships and still have them be happy ones. Doctor wasn't sure on what or how to write the order, and where to send it. I suggested that she sends it to me, because I'm not sure on where Sweetie will be in when I'm on the road. Will keep you posted as this moves along.  

Our morning started out pleasantly enough. She was awake and seemed to be pleased to see me. As I talked to her, and gave her her wake up dose, she seemed to be in a good mood. Left the room to allow the meds to clear her head. 

When I returned, I remembered that she would need a shower this morning. So, out of bed, and into the shower. 

I've been thinking of leaving her on the potty in the morning. For it seems like, when I wipe her, she has started a movement, and I interrupt her. So, I will test my idea tomorrow. 

Any way, cleaned, dressed and out for breakfast. 

Because of the weather report from yesterday, I didn't make any plans to play golf today, and after leaving her home by herself, and the emotional turmoil that came about, I thought a day home with just her and me was called for. 

Had some laundry to do and this was a good time to do it. Besides, there were two fitted sheets in this load, and I am learning on how to fold them. Did you know that on YouTube you can find videos on just about anything, including "How to fold a fitted sheet." You know, it was something that filled my time with something to do. 

I was needing to make a run to the grocery store, and was hoping to get Sweetie to come with me. Nope, not a good idea. She wasn't going to leave the house. So, put on a movie that would cover my time gone, and off I went. 

Got home, she was in her nest, and I had groceries to put away. Done with my part, now to get her out of bed and on to the couch. 

That done, and the beginning of the end of the day was upon us. Had a very pleasant evening, and soon we were in bed, with sleep lapping at my heels. 

All in all, it was a pleasant day, this day on the Road to Dementia Town. My Driver didn't seem to be alarmed about the events on the day, and why should He be? Were we not able to Keep Our Shiny Side Up? Yes we were. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.      

 

Things started to go bad.

Old Scotsman.

Everyday, and I do mean everyday, it seems that I learn something else about Dementia. How just the timing of an hour can make the difference between a good day, and a day of frustrations. 

Tuesday

I was hoping that Sweetie had a good nights sleep. And so, when I went to get her up, she seemed OK. We've had better and worse mornings. 

My plans were to take her with me to the course. The weather report was for a cool, sunny day, like yesterday. She had other ideas. 

After she was up, and at the table, so far so good. It was after the cereal, that things started to go bad. 

She was done, and headed off to her nest. When I went to check on her, she was out. If I was to take her out with me, I'd pay hell for getting her up. So, I let her sleep. 

As it turned out, I didn't have a winning hand no matter how I played it. 

I kept a close eye on her while I was on the course. When I saw that she was up, and folding the covers, then walking back and forth. I headed home. 

She seemed so happy to see me, to the point that she sat on a chair, pointed to the couch, where she wanted me to sit. I thought I'd avoided a rough afternoon at this point. Boy, was I wrong. 

The longer we sat, the more absent she was. Thinking that a walk would be good at this time, we got into the car and off we went for our walk about. 

About halfway around our first lap, she took her hand out of mine, and started walking behind me. Trouble was brewing. Cutting the walk short, I headed for the car, and she didn't want to go with me. I had to take her by the hand and get her to follow me. 

Home, in the garage, she didn't want to get out of the car, again, trouble. She was mad at me for leaving her alone, and she was going to make me know she was upset with me. 

It seemed like she was in a fog, one moment, all was well, and then up and walking. Around 5pm she was able to settle down and we watched TV as we normally do. 

When we went to bed, it was a repeat from the night before. Afterwards, she was wrapping herself close to me, to the point I couldn't sleep. When I felt I could move, I headed to the other bedroom and to sleep. 

Wasn't sure just how the day would end, today, on the Road to Dementia Town. What started out OK, soon turned to a twisty, bumpy ride. It was difficult, but we were still able to Keep Our Shiny Side UP. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

Lovers of old.

My Sweetie.

Seeing her wear glasses, really dates this picture. It was our vacation in 2015, back to Disneyland for our beach time.

In those days, because we had both been around the ocean all of our lives, we would plan trips, usually for a 2 or 3 day stay, back to California. That was all that we needed back then. A day at the beach, a day at Disneyland, and maybe take in a Angel's game. Then back home. 

Sometimes we would make an extra day away by staying the night in either Kingman or Flagstaff. Then again, we might get up early, and do the drive in one day. Have breakfast on the road, usually at Flagstaff, then lunch would be at In-N-Out in Barstow. 

In-N-Out isn't in New Mexico, and the closet one is in Kingman, AZ. You don't know how many times I've thought of driving out there just for one of their burgers. We have some friends that live there, and we could drive out, get our burger, spend the night, and head home in the morning. 

The problem is Sweetie. I just don't know how well she would take such a trip. My worries would be her wondering. If she would get up in the middle of the night, not waking me, and head out the door. I always remember that Dementia doesn't me dumb. She could unlock the door easily enough and just walk out. So, we stay home for those reasons. 

Monday

Well, she is up and happy. Smiling as I give her her morning dose. And just like that, she is out of bed, and heading to the bathroom. 

I haven't seen her this eager to get up in many mornings. She is very cooperative, and that, of course, makes my morning easy to get going. 

Breakfast is served and is quickly consumed. On the Disney Channel, is a new program, "Vets on the Beach", so I put it on for her. I know she likes animals and I thought it would be good for her. 

She liked it so well, that I thought it would be OK for me to leave her and play a round alone. 

When I got to the course, I figured that I had made the wrong decision. It was a beautiful day. Cool, slight breeze, and blue skies. She would have been a joy this day. 

As it turned out, I had a very bad round, only one par, and I would have been a bad influence on her. 

Home and this time, we took off for the mall, and our walk about. I felt that if we would go soon after golf, my legs could handle the walk. I was right. We did our 2 laps and nice as you please. 

Not wanting to go straight home, we had lunch at McDonald's. Got a Quarter Pounder for me, and Chicken Nuggets for her. As it turned out, it wasn't this is mine and that is yours, it was a shared meal. She ate what she wanted, and I did the same. We hadn't eaten out in such a long time, it was fun for us. Afterwards, is was a long way home. 

The rest of the evening was about as normal as it could be. TV, small dinner, and a meeting. 

Sweetie's Dementia is removing her, this is so hard to talk about, sexual barriers. She is getting active. Last night was one such night. It was as if we were 20 years younger, and, well, she wanted her pleasure. So, before she would let me go to sleep, we were lovers of old, or should I say she was. I don't work anymore, so I did what I could, and she was pleasured. 

The Road to Dementia Town is full of surprises, and last night was such a wonderful surprise. I know that this section of the road won't last too long, so, we'll enjoy it until it too passes. That our love making will again become a sweet memory that I can hold on to. For now, it is so easy to Keep Our Shiny Side Up, as we are undercover lovers. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.   

 

Quite easy.

The old guy.

 

Post Santa beard. Took this picture to send to my daughter in California. When I told her about my precancer treatment on my face, she sent me this the same day. The wide brim hat. I was going to buy one for myself, it was nice to have someone get it for me.

This morning is quite different from any other morning in the past years. Why you ask? Well, because I slept in. Since my retirement, I've retired my alarm clock. I haven't used it in since then. 

For years, I've been living on 4-6 hours of sleep. So, getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning is quite natural for me. this morning, I woke up at 5, which turned my whole morning routine on its head. 

Spend the early times reading my morning meditation material, do my prayer time, and write my blog. Those are the things I do first, and it usually takes me about 2 hours. With waking up when I did, I didn't have time to do the first part, before the second part of my moring begins. 

For the first time since I started this blog, I'm doing it with the sun up and it feels strange. And if this feels strange, I wonder how the rest of the day will go. 

Sunday

Sunday, just another day for us. Well, not really. For we have 6 Saturdays, and one Sunday. Knowing that Sweetie had a rough night, I'm letting her sleep, and it looks like she is needing it. 

Got her up, and headed for the bathroom. Yesterday, I feed her a lot of oatmeal for breakfast, and now I'm hoping for the results and I didn't have to wait any longer. Lets just say, I'm glad that today is also shower day. 

Into the Shower we went. Got her cleaned, dried, and dressed. 

Out for breakfast we go. Decided to have scrambled eggs and spam. Gave her some applesauce to start with. Then the toast and CBD for the end of the meal. 

Looks like I have to do some laundry today. 

With my chorses done. We settle in for some TV. Afterwords, a walk about. Got one and half laps in. I was the one that can't go the distance, again. Soon we are home. 

As soon as we walk in, she heads for her nest, and a nap. That leaves me to myself, and my viewing. 

Soon, she comes in, and I'm up giving her more CBD. It seems that from 3 to about 6, she is in a sundowner zone. Not full on sundowners, just that she isn't "right". Made the decision to put her on once and hour dose that this time. Somewhere after 6 she comes out of her sundowner cocoon, and starts loving one me. 

I had made up my mind that if she was as restless as the night before, I wouldn't hesatate and move upstairs for the night. Actually, I was hoping for just that. 

When I got into bed, held her hands, said our prayers, gave her a kiss, said "I love you" and I was gone. Sleep ran me down like a free safety on a football field. I was gone. 

It didn't seem like a long time, on the Road to Dementia Town. It didn't seem like we travel every far, and on top of that, Keeping our Shiny Side Up was quite easy. So until next time, C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless   

 

Lady in pink.

Lady in Pink.

 It may seem early, but it is something to look forward to, spring. As the calendar says winter, my hope is in that which is eternal, spring. You've heard of the Lady in Red. Well, here is my Lady in Pink. 

As I dress her daily, these pink colors just seem to define who she is. A lady to be sure. She can capture me anytime she wants. A hand hold, a kiss, a look, and my heart is hers. 

Saturday

I'm going to have to change all the coverings this morning. You see, for that wonderful, for no reason I can find, Sweetie was my lover last night and she ended up sleeping without her underwear, and she peed all over the bed. A price well worth paying for the joy we had that night. A joy that I thought I would never again have. 

Of course that makes this morning more difficult for her. When I say anything about the night before, she smiles, and that tells me all that I need to know. 

She is back to being constipated again. It seems that when I find something that works for her, she soon adjust, and is back to being bound up again. So, this morning it is oatmeal for breakfast. A big bowl of oatmeal. We're out of prune juice, so, it is water instead of milk. 

My caregiver couldn't come this morning, so Sweetie and me have to do something to make the day go bye. One of the things is stripping the bed, and doing laundry. Those are chores I can do, for it is too windy to play golf with Sweetie. 

So, we watch TV, and later in the afternoon, we go to the mall for our walk about. It is getting shorter these days. If we are lucky, we get a lap and a half before she starts dragging herself around. Then it is in the car and home.

One of the things I've been doing is, putting her down for a nap late in the afternoon. I just wonder if it is for me or for her. One of the side effects is that when we go to bed at night, she doesn't sleep well. A lot of tossing and turning, pulling the blankets, and just driving me crazy. I can't sleep, and she seems to have the talent of starting her antics just as I'm about to go to sleep, or shortly after I'm asleep. I just wonder how much longer I'll be able to sleep with her. 

One of the things I know, is that if I don't go to bed with her, she is up looking for me. So, it appears that for the mean time, I'll be going to bed with her, and when she starts her behavior of pulling, moving, and annoying behavior, I'll be moving to sleep somewhere else. Maybe upstairs in our old bed. 

The days on the Road to Dementia Town, and starting good enough, but the endings are becoming rough. That is OK, for we still have Driver in the front seat, and we are still Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.  

Head on my shoulder.

Love this smile

 How can I not love this woman? Just look at that smile. From her eyes, to her mouth, to her face, it is shouting "I love you." For me that is the eternal message that she gives me. 

There are times when she can be a burden, especially when her Happy Medicine wears off, and she is suddenly mean, and doesn't want to do anything I need her to do. 

Then there are times when she is pure pleasure. When she is holding my hand, looking at me with those love eyes, and I can feel her wanting to be with me, no matter what. 

Friday

I can see that she is awake, and in I go with my bottle of Happy Medicine. Chit-chat, a shot, and out I go. Don't have much to do, so shortly, I'm back to get her out of bed. 

Things go well, until I take the covers off, and try to get her to move off the bed. Funny, when I try to help her move to the edge, she will cry out, that she hurts, and then use more muscle to move the opposite direction, just fighting me, not wanting to get out of bed. 

She's up, and now we can get going. Bathroom duties, then breakfast, while I ponder whether I want to take her with me. It is cold outside, and I'm not sure she can take the cold. Even when I bundle her up, with the heat pads on her hands, she still gets cold. 

She is coming with me, and with that, the plan of action begins. I don't put her gloves on until we are in the cart and heading for the first tee. She seems comfortable, and that is the most important thing that faces us on the course. 

I'm a single today for the course seems empty. I start out with a par on the first hole, a bogie on the second, par the third and forth hole. Looking like a good round is happening. 

Then the 6th hole, and the wheels come off the cart. Triple bogey on the sixth and that is where we stopped. Sweetie is getting cold, and the play is backing up. We have caught up with a large group, and have to wait to tee off. 

Not wanting Sweetie to stand around a wait, we head in. Get her back in the car, start the motor, and she starts to get warm. Head for home. 

Spend the rest of the day watching TV. A common activity. Watched Shrek and Shrek 2. After the movies, our game shows. Dinner, and off to a meeting. 

She was very fearful at the meeting, and with her head on my shoulder, we had our meeting. 

Home and to bed. 

It was a good outing for us, this day on the Road to Dementia Town. Most of the time we were able to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

The shadow of Dementia.

She still makes me laugh.

 

Not only does she make me laugh, she will say the right things at the right time. Things that are special to us, like lover's talk, that tell me she is still there.

One of the things that I've begun to notice is that if she sits for a long time, she becomes unresponsive to me. She will sit and stare, as if out a window, and have no knowledge of my presence. 

Even when I try to talk to her, she will move to look around me, and it isn't until I take her hand or by the arm, that she comes out of her stupor, and as if she is waking up, it takes sometime for her to remember who I am, and where she is. 

One other thing, she isn't drinking much water these days. Again, it is winter and cold, so water doesn't seem like much of ado, I just worry about her becoming dehydrated. 

Thursday 

Getting her up was easy this morning. Starting with her now normal dose of Happy Medicine, we begin. I like the idea of allow the CBD to start working before she gets up. 

I am now front loading her with the CBD in the morning. In bed, on the potty, and then on her toast at breakfast. 

It is my observation that it is taking longer for the CBD to help her. By giving her multiple dose quickly first thing in the morning, allows Sweetie to come out of the shadow of Dementia, and we have a good day. Most of the time it works, especially when we are active and moving.  

I had to direct her to the car, and then to the bible study. Once inside, she sat with me, but didn't hold my hand. This is the time I worry the most about her. Our hand holding-hands is the way I judge where she is. Once she moves to holding my hand, I know all is well for awhile. 

After the study, it was off to the course. I have to keep an eye on her when we go into the pro shop. For if I'm not paying attention to her, she will head for the door, and who knows where she is going. I'm constantly turning around, reaching out to hold her hand, just knowing where she is is my biggest concern. 

Once we get going, she is fine. It is as if the moving satisfies her need to wonder. I have a so-so day on the course, and afterwards we are home for lunch. 

I know she is tired from lack of sleep, so I let her nap for about an hour. Then we head for the mall, and our walk about. This time, even though she acts like she isn't going to make the two laps, I keep her going. She needs to burn off her sleep energy so she can sleep tonight. 

Once again we are home, and it is our TV, dinner, time. Being that it is Thursday, it is also our meeting night. 

I don't have to work too hard to get her to the car, and off we go. 

It is only one other person there tonight, and so, we have a good meeting. It is nice when like minded people get together and talk freely. 

After the meeting, we get home, and go straight to bed. Sleep comes quickly to me. 

It wasn't the greatest day on the Road to Dementia Town, and it wasn't the worse day either. Driver took care of the curves, dips and detours that came our way. All the while we were Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

 

Dementia is a saboteur of the best order.

Still here.

I'm tired this morning. It was a rough night. Both of us couldn't go to sleep and when that happens, she is constantly moving her legs. From a balled up position, to a straightening her legs out. At the same time, she is moving over to my side of the bed. I ended up moving to the couch for some peace and sleep. 

As I'm preparing to get things together for my trip to Pensacola this spring, it seems that there are challenges that I must overcome. So, instead of bemoaning them, I will just take them on one at a time. 

If anything, Dementia has taught me, it is to be flexible. To have  a goal is the best plan, then to make sure I have alternate plans to work with, when Dementia tries it best to sidetrack my plans. Dementia is a saboteur of the best order. Even when we are on our way to an event, it can kick in, and off we go to another direction. 

Wednesday

Because the Women's Golf League has the tee's from 10-11, I have changed our morning schedule and don't get Sweetie up as early as I normally do. Letting her sleep in, may not be the best idea. 

When I got her up, she was somewhat slow to get going. Even though she doesn't know what time it is, her body clock does. I'm going to re think this timing business. 

Up and on the move. Last night, I adjusted her pull-ups to her, and she didn't leak this morning which is a good thing. 

Dressed out to breakfast, and to wait for our time to leave. 

It seems like the weather is going to be nice, and for the past couple of mornings, I didn't need to bundle her up. With the sun shining, and no breeze, I thought a more spring dressing would be OK. Was I wrong. 

When we got to the course, the clouds started rolling in, and a breeze kicked up. I too, wasn't dressed for what we were going to experience, With in a short time, Sweetie was shivering, and I was getting cold too. So, we ended up heading home after the 6th hole. I wasn't having a good day, so why prolong the agony? 

When we got home, she went straight to her nest, and went to sleep. My mistake was to let her sleep too long. 

Got her up around 4 and she seemed fine. We had a great ending of the day. It was when we went to bed, that her restlessness became apparent. 

Tossing and turning, and leaving the bed was the way that I got through the night. I did manage some sleep, in groups of 2 hours, then awake, and then back to sleep. 

Driver had His hands full yesterday, as we dodged and weaved our way down the Road to Dementia Town. It was hard, but we did find ways to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. For tomorrow is yet another day. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.  Arthur.    

 

Holding hands.

Sleeping Beauty

Different picture, but a new one for '22. It may not be the best, is just new. 

It was a good day yesterday. From wake up to back to bed, the day was good. Sure we had some rough spots, that is normal. 

One of the new behaviors is when we are ready to go out, she heads for her nest, and I have to redirect her out to the car. Once I get her in the car, and "Buckled up for safety" and a kiss, we are then ready to leave the house. 

I'm looking forward to spring this year. Getting a new BBQ just seems so exciting to me. As Sweetie slips more and more into her Dementia I think of the evenings we can have, outside, with her on the couch, and me cooking. 

Going with a gas BBQ this time. Simply for the ease of cooking. I prefer charcoal over gas, but that needs more time to get going, and then cleaning the ashes after a couple of uses, plus the time to get the coals up to cooking temperature is more time than I prefer. Besides, we are not going to be cooking for hours on end, and that would be a charcoal job. Sweetie doesn't like ribs which takes time on a BBQ, done right, and so it is just a quick on the grill and off and eat. 

Tuesday

Up and at them time. She hasn't moved, but when I go in, she sees me and smiles. We talk, I give her a dose of CBD, and we chat for a bit. Telling her I'm going to get her breakfast ready, and let her Happy Medicine clear the cob webs out of her mind. She smiles and seems content with what is going on. 

Upon returning, she allows me to help her out of bed. Sitting up, legs over the edge, and I help her slid out and down to the carpet. Holding her tightly, she snuggles comfortably into my chest and I feel her breast on my body. Yes, I still find that exciting. Still after 35 years of marriage and 77 years of age, she still excites me. 

She didn't wet through her insert pad, and I think I know why. It was the way I put them on her last night. I've come to the conclusion that her bottoms center isn't the same as the pads center, and I adjusted it to more of matching centers, where there is less of a chance of leaking then before. We'll see what happens tomorrow. 

Made biscuits this morning. She gets her fruit, cereal, and juice. This morning, she is also going to get a hot biscuit with butter, jam, and CBD. If nothing else, she eats a good breakfast. If she looses that, I will know she is failing and time will be short. 

She is putting on her Grump act, and I have to be stern with her. Get her shoes on and we get going to the car. As I said before, she heads for her nest, and I have to re-direct her to the car. She isn't happy to be in the car. 

As we drive to the course and by the time we get out and moving, she is in a better mood. The day is nice, the coolness of the day isn't bad, and I am almost over dressed for the tempature. 

Had a good/bad day on the course. Good, had some great shots, 4 pars, and just missed two birdies. On the other side of the coin, I had 3 double bogies, which is more than any time in the most recent outings I've had. So, in the balance, we had a good time, and Sweetie was good company. 

The afternoon was about normal. Except when it came to lunch. I make sandwiches for us, and Sweetie started by dismantling her sandwich. Ate the top bread first, then the bologna on one half. I helped her with the what was left over, making a whole sandwich out of those parts, and fed it to her. 

After lunch, to the mall we go. She gets tired now after one lap, and I'm pushing to get another half in. She is so worn out by the time we get to the car, I'm grateful for the time we do get. 

Home for the rest of the evening, TV, and all. One of the things that amazes me, is as we watch, and I watch her watching the show, is her reaction to what is on the screen. She laughs, she gets sad, she knows, which means she is still in there. 

We ended this day in bed, snuggled together, holding her hand, and thanking God for another wonderful day. As sleep once again paid us a visit. 

Driver was up and whistling this morning. What He had planed for us, He wasn't sharing. Into the day we went. His hands on the wheel, and we are in the back, buckled up for safety, and down the Road to Dementia Town we went. Who knows where we will end up this day, all I know is that we will  be Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.