Dementia: A cruel teacher.

Sweetie on Hawaii, shopping.

Dementia, what a teacher it is for those of us who are caregivers. Sweetie maybe like a toddler, in many ways she is not. Dementia has taught me that and many more things about myself. It has been all through the caring for Sweetie, and these are also lessons that I would of never learned if it wasn't for Dementia. 

Yesterday, in one of my meetings, the subject was ego, self centeredness and how it drives us. As it turns out, those lessons that I learned earlier were just pre-school for what was to come. Dementia is a cruel teacher for the caregiver. The only graduation comes when your ward is no more. It has taught me that control is truly a vapor, a figment of my imagination. If Dementia doesn't want to do something, you cannot force it to do it. 

Yesterday, Sweetie had messed her pullups and it was very messy. So, it was a shower time. As I got her ready for the shower, she wanted me to get in with her, and she wouldn't have it any other way. No matter how I tried, she just wouldn't budge. So, into the shower I went, and then trying to wash her private areas was another battle. Slowly, oh so slowly, was I able to get soap and water there and slowly wash her. She would complain about it hurt, so I had to be extra gentle, but we did get the job done. 

I've, all by accident, put in a paper towel dispenser in the bathroom. It is one of the best ideas I've come up with. When time comes to dry her off, I'll give her some paper towels to dry off her privates. So, if anything is still there, it doesn't mean I have to wash another bath towel, and because it is damp and soft, it is easier to finish any clean up necessary. Here was a lesson, a pop quiz and Easter Egg all rolled into one. 

Just another reason to be off with my Driver. He is the one who really has all the control and everyday I'm learning that more and more. I know today will be day of learning. Never a dull moment with my Driver. He is there, never blaming, never condemning, just smiling and encouraging. Now we're off for another day trip down the Road to Dementia Town. I'm wearing my cool sunglasses, my Driver is smiling, and as always, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Are you learning that control with Dementia will never happen? If you are, then you too can drive with your Shiny Side Up, too. Love Ya, God Bless.   

Dementia: The fly in the ointment.

This is my all time favorite picture.

How is it that I can complain and be so satisfactory happy at the same time? Think about it, I'm retired without any cares, not a single pressing need or obligation to fulfill. Home, cars, big TV, it would seem that I, we have it made. But, and the big but, is caring for Sweetie. 

That is the rub, that is the fly in the ointment. I have to keep reminding me of the promise that I made to her, way back when, we promised each other, those vows, that Spiritual contract between the 3 of us. Me, her and our God. Right now, I'd just love to put gas in Tweetie, put the clubs in the trunk, with a change of underwear and toothbrush, hit the road. To where? Can't really go anywhere these days, so that plan won't happen, and if I could, what about Sweetie? She can't go with me, she wouldn't understand what was going on, and that Sundowner Monster might show up, and spoil it all. What is a man to do? 

For that I have to go somewhere else for my answers. I am learning to enjoy that which I never dreamed possible. The simple joys of watching humming birds fight over the feeders we have outside, the joy of watching a mama dove picking up sticks for her nest. Seeing the lizards climbing up the fence. Watching the contrails of the occasional jet go over head. While at the same time, holding Sweetie's hand and pointing them out to her. This is the purpose of my life, right now, and there would be not be any joy for both of us if I'd try to fight it. This is my Easter Egg. To have a purpose that gives me joy and happiness to balance out the sorrow and frustration as I care for her. 

As I write this, "It is Well with my Soul" is playing, and how appropriate for right now. As I think about all that could be happening, this is the right place for me. Yes, it is well with my soul. 

Driver, did it again, He gave me the answer that I was needing to hear. What else does He have planned for the day? I don't know until we get back from our drive. We're going to get an early start this morning, so I'd better get going. It is a long drive to Dementia Town, and the road is full of detours and pot holes, which my Driver will navigate around. Cool sunglasses, check, maybe a cool drink, check, and into the passenger seat I slide, buckled in and ready to go. Drivers puts the car in gear and away we go, down the Road to Dementia Town, and as always Keeping our Shiny Side Up. May you have a rewarding day as you drive Down the Road to Dementia Town, keeping your Shiny Side Up. Wave as you go by, Love Ya, God Bless.         

Dementia, the poop machine.

My Lovely Sweetie.

How could I not love her? She was and is everything that I wanted in a woman. We fit together like pieces of a jig saw puzzle. We filled our every nook and cranny, we had places where life would melt into us and we would savor every bit of life we could get. There were times of just dry toast, and then there were times of butter and honey, of beagles and cream cheese, or Texas Toast bread made into French toast. For as life poured out on us, we always had something that sustained us in those dry years and fill us to overflowing in the good years. I am grateful for those times, because, like a bear, I'm living on the fat of those memories. 

Got Sweetie out of her bad shoes, and into her flip flops. They may take a little breaking in, they will do just fine. As we walk, I now have an app that will track us and tell us how far we walk. Yesterday we did two walks and both were more then 1.5 miles. So, that means we did over 3 miles, which for me is a little disappointing. I now know I'm a bad judge of distance. 

Yesterday, Dementia turned Sweetie into a poop machine. Every time I thought she was done, I would wipe her and out comes a little bit more. She was like a dripping soft ice cream dispenser. So, I gave up until latter in the day. When I took her potty, she was just covered, and in that situation, into the shower. That is when I discovered her hair was just matted and crusty with poop. I'd been so worried about her bottom, that I hadn't been washing her front. Oh how she wailed as I soaped her up and slowly cleaned her off. There is still some poop in her pubs, and will try again this morning. I got it all off her tender areas, but the hair is trapping it. I've decided to give her a trim to help the cleanliness in the future. It will be getting her to allow me to give her a haircut. 

I've increased her CBD to 50% of a dropper, and it seems to have a building effect on her. She is so much more calmer during the day, and the reaction time is increased. When I see the Sundowner Monster coming, getting her her Hemp Oil, slows it down and with a quick step out the door and out for a walk, short circuits our time with dealing with her Sundowner Monster. So, for now, all is well. 

That is it for now, my Driver is coming through the front door and is ready for our drive down the Road to Dementia Town. I think today we'll have a good conversation about how things are going. About the Easter Eggs I found yesterday, and what the plans for today are. I know He'll have an attentive ear for me as He keeps His eyes on the road ahead as we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. That goes for you, you can talk and drive at the same time, just remember to Keep your Shiny Side Up too. Love and Kisses, God Bless.