Her touchstone.

We are all wearing Angel gear. 

Gave Sweetie another hair cut yesterday. Have to learn how to trim around the ears better. Being it was only my second time, I think I'm getting better. It was also our shower time. I do some stats when we shower on the first part of the month. I check her weight when we do this, and I'm happy to report that she has stayed the same for the past 6 months. 

I mentioned that she is moving into a new stage of her dementia and I can say, she is more normal at this time. The inability to communicate is still there, and now she doesn't know how to dry and put away the dishes, but it is her calmness that is what is nice about this stage. 

Did laundry yesterday, and I had her help me folding cloths. I felt that if she was going to stand next to me, I'd put her to work. What I find amazing is her ability to fold the cloths while telling me she doesn't know how to do it. The disconnect of habit and thought is something to watch. She will ask to help, and then when I give her a job, she will automatically tell me she doesn't know how to do it. My response is that she is doing great, to keep it up. 

There are times when I think she feels like a little girl who is lost and I am her touchstone. As long as she can be with me, she is safe. You know I like that knowing that I'm her safe spot. With that knowledge, comes the Easter Egg. 

Sometimes I get so caught up in the doing, that I need my time with my Driver. He is the one that can slow me down, let me know everything will turn out for the best. He is the one in-charge and knows the Road to Dementia Town better than anyone else on the highway. I don't get bored, I listen. He knows where to go, and I'm just along for the ride. If your not sure, just look for us, we're the one with the Shiny Side Up. We'll be looking for you as you drive down the road with Your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, Take Care, and God Bless. 

New stage.

Sweetie and my youngest.

On our way back home, youngest asked us to stop by and get some "Poppa hugs". Who am I to refuse such a request. This daughter is the most mixer of emotions with me. There are times when I get so upset with her, I want to disown her and then there are times when I can't wait to see her either. Such is a father's love. 

Sweetie is defiantly moving to a new stage of her Dementia. She isn't as manic as before, so calm is she that I haven't had to give her any CBD in the past couple of days. It is nice not to have to fight Mr. Sundowners either. Don't think I don't have some conflict with her, especially when it comes to checking her pullups, I do. Using the calm and quiet voice, and being persistent, we get the job done. 

I haven't talked about this in awhile, so here goes. I've given up trying to get her to use the toilet. I check her about every two to three hours to see how she is doing. Using liners with her pullups, I'm able to replace the soiled liner, and usually get a full day out of her pullups. Also, she seems to have a running bowel movement. That is what I look for more than anything when I check her. The biggest challenge is just keeping her clean. 

When I'm cleaning her, I have to continually remind her that its OK for me to touch her "there". She may not understand the reasoning for me and what I'm doing to be in that area of her body, so she lets me know she doesn't like me to touch her down there.  When I forget to tell her, she fights me and cries how it hurts. Been telling her that I'm her caregiver and that is one of my jobs as her caregiver. I tried telling her that I am her husband, but that just goes over her head and doesn't help. Caregiver works well.  

I'm going to attempt something new, an evening shower, just to wash her private area. That way, I'll know she won't wake up being red and sore, which makes for a long day. 

I used to wonder where these ideas come from, and at the same time, I know. I spend so much time on the Road to Dementia Town with Driver, that I don't remember that it is His ideas, not mine, as we move from stage to stage with Sweetie. Woke up to thunderstorms this morning, and just wondering how shiny the car will be. How silly of me, there it is, looks like it just came out of the dealer's showroom. Diver is motioning me in, and away we go. Just the two of us, down the highway we go. Traveling the Road to Dementia Town, Him talking, me listening, and as always, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. If you can, don't drive solo, its better with two, easier to Keep Your Shiny Side Up, as you travel your Road to Dementia Town. Drive Safe, Love Ya, and God Bless.   

Because of love?

Sweetie's bro and wife. 

How can I keep doing what I'm doing? What is it about taking care of someone that cannot return what you are give them. Pouring in your life and soul to make sure that they, not you, are taken care of? I thought this morning about a young lady, a teenager, that seems to make us welcomed, to takes the time to greet us. Wondering if she would find a man that cares as much for her as I care for Sweetie?  

The thought occurred to me about the very same thing. What your partner is in the beginning is so much different in the end. Life can be a wringer that wants to squeeze all that you have inside and will leave you empty, if you let it. In youth, I wanted this and that and the other thing, and to be truthful, when I look back I can say, I didn't know what I wanted. Now I do, I just know the most important thing is taking care of my Sweetie Pie. Why? Because of marriage vows? Because of Love? Yes, and yes and more. We have lived a life together and because of that, I am hers and she is mine, one flesh as scripture puts it. 

Each day is new, each day, I wonder, what will I have to do to make it through the day. The dread of the waking hours are over, and my life takes on its role, caregiver. Through the dirty pullups, the cries and tears of not knowing how to do something, I just give an answer of kindness and encouragement, knowing that she is doing the best she can in her a declining and shrinking world. 

My Driver gives me insight and the strength to continue each and every day. He is where this endurance comes from, for I know He is doing for me that which I cannot do for myself. He's the one at the wheel, navigating the Road to Dementia Town. He's the one who knows how to Keep the Shiny Side Up, and all I have to do is look cool as I sit in the passenger's seat, with those fabulous cool sunglasses on. Hope to see you on your journey as you drive down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. Have a great day, Love Ya and God Bless.