Grinning all the way.

Breakfast at BK.

You might say, I'm a photo hoarder. I have hundreds of photos either on my phone, or saved on my computer, and even a couple of memory sticks full of them. As I look through these pictures, it takes me back to days of memory. Like this one. It is October, a few years back, and it is Balloon Festival. We don't go to the launch area, we found this Burger King, not far from the launch site. As we waited for the balloons to pass overhead, we would have breakfast. Sweetie would ooh and ahhh as they passed. She still gets excited seeing a balloon, and I try to make sure she sees any that are in the air, but it's not the same. 

With Sweetie and her Dementia, I feel that I'm in some way in limbo and of course, I know that I am. I've seen it, I've read about it, and I've heard you in your comments, about being here in limbo. Heathy and wanting to do things, to travel, to visit the grandkids that live out of state. The feeling of being tied down, for who is going to watch Sweetie while I'm gone? Especially now in the pandemic. Just another hill to climb, and this too will pass. 

Saturday was a wee bit different. Sweetie didn't get up until mid afternoon. When she did get up, I tried to get her into the bathroom to change her pullups, and she fought me hard. To the point she went back to bed. When she did get up, I fixed us some Spam and eggs. This time she ate the meal. It was difficult to get her to eat these days, and because of that, she is getting weaker by the day. I got some eggnog for us. It was at one time her favorite holiday drink, I'm looking at the fat and calories in a serving, hoping it will give her a boost in her energy levels. 

We went to the mall to do our mall crawl. I've gotten to know the man that drives the train around the mall, and he has offered us a free ride, and I usually turn him down, because Sweetie didn't want to go on it. Last night, she wanted to go. So, off we went. Going around the mall, waving at mall goers and kids. I was grinning all the way. 

As the dawn come up and shows itself, I find myself in the passenger's seat, with the sky getting light on the horizon, and the promise of life coming at us, as we drive down the Road to Dementia Town, Driver and me, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.   

 

Sprinkle of happiness.

Ft Lauderdale, Sweetie and Tweetie meet.

The back story, as they say now a days. It is Saturday morning, we flew to Ft Lauderdale to get Tweetie. This was our first stop after we had driven her off the lot. October 14, 2018. Sweetie still had most of her memories, and capabilities to be good company and a joy on this trip. One of those jewels on my memory crown about her. 

It is hard not feeling sorry for myself. To compound this feeling, all I'd have to do is look back at all the disappointments in my life and beg the question, "Why me?" or "What else could go wrong?". Would that make it any better? Would that change anything that I have to do today? Feeling sorry for myself, only lets the monster Dementia engulf me and makes both Sweetie and me miserable. 

If I concentrate on the good things, then life has a purpose, life has its rewards, life will be lived on a plane that is about the murkiness of sorrow. I've said it before, and it is so true today. Without the sorrow, how can I experience joy? Without the tears, how can I enjoy the laughter? Without the dark, I would never know what walking in the light is about. 

Dementia is a monster that is devouring my Sweetie, and I can't do anything about that. What I can do, is enjoy those times we have left. The good times will be sandwiched in between the sad and sorrow times, but it will be there, I just have to find them. A continual Easter Egg hunt. 

Yesterday was a mixed bag of ups and downs. To begin with, breakfast. I cooked up some diced Spam, hash brown potatoes, and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Because it was something new, Sweetie just poked at it, ate some, and just didn't like it. Then the good times began. A trip to the grocery store, a walk at the mall, watched "The Santa Clause" movie. A good dinner, with chocolate cake for dessert, and bed. A great evening, with a end of a good day. 

There is a sprinkle of happiness all about. Driver wants me to make sure to find them. When there are sprinkles of tears, He turns on the windshield wipers, to wipe away the tears, which leaves the eyes sparkling. I don't know what today will bring, what I do know is that while I'm on the Road to Dementia Town, Driver and me will be together, as we keep our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.   

   

House is a prison.

At the movies.

Coronavirus 19 has done two things for us. One, it has limited where we can go, and two, because of Sweetie's Dementia, we welcome the places we can go to. Because of the progression of her disease, those places that are open to us, fit our capabilities appropriately. 

It was another sleep day for Sweetie, not as much as yesterday, but a lot. She seemed to come down for meals, than back to bed. So, I get my cleaning bug out and will see some area that I've been going "Ugh" and next thing I know, out comes the cleaner, the towels, and elbow grease, and away I go getting it done. Also I was also able to strip and wash the downstairs bed sheets. You know, it feels good to do that stuff. Feel like I accomplished something. 

Sweetie was up long enough for us to make a trip to the mall and a walk about. Sometimes I feel like the house is a prison, and I need to escape. It is getting too cold to walk the neighborhood, and to play golf. So the mall is the only open space available to us. Why not take complete advantage while I can. For I know that the day is coming that she will not want to leave the house, and we will be there 24-7. 

Health update, her shoulder is getting better, and I just have to keep the regimentation going, and her ear is almost healed. 

Have to tell you this. Our grace before meals has been a little tune:

Dear Heavenly Father 

hear us sing.

Our song of thanks for everything.

Thank you, thank you

thank you Heavenly Father

Amen.

The report is she is beginning to forget this tune. It is one that she taught me and she has been singing it her entire life. It reminds me of anther song from early Rock and Roll. "Slip sliding away." Her memories just are doing just that slip sliding away. She is becoming more and more of an empty vessel. 

That is OK, for as she slips away from me, Driver is catching her as she empties. He lets me know, that there will be a day that we will be together once again. She will be whole and beautiful. Waiting for me on the other side of Dementia Town. It is a long Road to Dementia Town, and we'll get there, as long as we keep going with our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.