So is life.

At the zoo.

A reminder, I have tickets for us to go to the zoo today. I had forgotten about the zoo. I can bundle her up, and off we go. It won't be much, more of just walking around. Don't know if the indoor exhibits will be open, so we will see what we can. It will be interesting to see if the polar bears are active in this cold weather. 

I bought a big bag of koi fish food. Similar to what the zoo charges .25c for. I'll take a sandwich bag full and feed the ducks and fish. If there are children, we share it with them. Just for fun, thinking about becoming a mainstay at the park and being known as the old couple giving kids free food to feed the ducks. Wouldn't that be a hoot? 

Life with Sweetie isn't all bad, isn't all good. Life with Sweetie is life with Sweetie. This is what we have and there isn't anything we could of done to change it. I believe what we are is just where we are suppose to be. I don't know why she has this terrible disease and if I try to figure out how she got it, it doesn't matter anymore. Life doesn't have a reverse gear, and I cannot go back and change the past, so I make the best of what we have now. 

We had a good day. She didn't want to get up, her shoulder is still very sore. But up is where we went. She was soaked, so into the bathroom and getting her cleaned up and put on some dry cloths. Again, was able to put heat on her shoulder and vibrated it. She seems to be enjoying the special attention with the vibrator. She turned and motioned me to go down her back, and the look of pleasure that came over her told me volumes. She liked it. 

At breakfast, she is using her arm more. If you didn't see her everyday, you wouldn't notice what she is doing, I do. By the end of the day, she was attempting to feed herself with her right arm. I was so pleased with her, and because of her dementia, she didn't understand my joy. 

There is one thing that I haven't mentioned. Bed time. We can be sitting on the couch, and she lets me know she is ready for bed. She is like a kitten, all soft and cuddly. By the time we go upstairs, she will get pushy, and I have to strongly get her to do what we need to get done before we go to bed. That quick, for angel to being bedeviling, just puts a kink in the moment. 

So is life, and my Driver knows that too. He isn't the one who sends in a road crew to make things smooth and right, He's the one that looks out for the pot holes. Ever noticed, that as we drive somewhere, the roads very from quiet and smooth, to noisy and rough? That is what my Driver points out. Today, we may have quiet and smooth, other days, are bumpy and noisy. I doesn't matter, for we are on the Road to Dementia Town, and we are Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless. 

 

At the MVD.

My Ladies, Sweetie and my two daughters.

This was the last time my clan had been together. It was the Balloon Fiesta of '15. We had a great time together, and it was also the first time that Sweetie's dementia was showing itself. My oldest asked if there was something that she did, because Sweetie was so stand offish. That is when I told her that there was something going on, I wasn't sure just what it was. It was the following year we were tested. Mystery solved. 

We start our 6th year on the official journey, yet in reality it is our 11th year. Those first five or so years, the not understanding what was going on with her, those needless fights about where this was, or why did you put this there. For the spouse that just "knew" that there was something wrong, something out of place, not just right, yet couldn't put a finger on it. Wrote it off as "old age". But it was too early in life, too soon, too.... something. 

I don't know about you, but there was a relief factor in knowing. In my ability to steady myself, to strength my heart, to find out just what to do. 

This is where my Driver comes in. I was part of a ministry that did a Sunday service for a senior rehab center. That is where I met John. His wife was part of the small gathering of believers who attended the service, she too, has Dementia. As I got to know him, his help cannot be measured in anything but love. 

He told me about the support group, and invited me to join. I sluffed off the idea, I wasn't ready. It wasn't until I was at the Motor Vehicle Department, when I ran into John. Again with the invitation to join this all men's support group. At the MVD of all places, if that wasn't a message from my Driver, I don't know what one looks like. That was over 4 years ago, and what a blessing it was and the help over the years has become invaluable. 

Because of the the pandemic, I don't make those meeting anymore, don't have a sitter for Sweetie. Working on getting one, hard for only one day a month. My Saturday Lady works a Monday-Friday, and cannot get off. So, I put it on the front seat to let my Driver handle it. 

Yesterday, gotta talk about yesterday. It was another rough start for Sweetie. Lots of pain while trying to sit up. After I got her up, into the bathroom to clean and change her, to get ready for the day. I was allowed to do some physical therapy on her shoulder. Now with the new shaver, I can just keep talking to her, take it out, and shave her chin, as if it was something that we've been doing all along. Thank you for the suggestion. 

It was a good day, meals, walking, golf. The one thing that is a good report, she is starting to use her right arm. Not much, more than before, so the heat/vibrating therapy is working.

If she isn't watching TV, she is now wondering around the house. Not trying to get outside, just looking out the windows, then back to the bedroom, stopping at the garage door, turning on the light, looking in, like a caged animal at the zoo. 

She doesn't come up stairs with me to even try to brush her teeth, comb her hair, so I have to make sure she is as ready as she can be when we go for breakfast. It is one time down, and one time up. I feel she will move herself down stairs when she is ready, not on my time table. 

Time table, something that only Driver knows for sure. He has been there all the time. He knows when each new step will be taken, and I just have to follow. The Road to Dementia Town isn't a straight road, it is full of twist and turns, detours and newly paved areas. I know that and so does my Driver. I know I cannot make this journey any better, only worse. He is the one that makes it better, He is the one that is hiding the Easter Eggs for me to find. I'm just the doer, the one that keeps the inside going, He's the one that, while we are on the Road to Dementia Town, Keeps our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.       

 

Just a pleasure.

Reading in bed.

Did you know that flannel sheets are warmer? For years, we suffered cold bed syndrome in the winter. I never realized what a difference they would make, and how much more enjoyable reading in bed was. Yep, those are flannel sheets and here is Sweetie doing one of her most favorite things, reading in bed.

Yesterday was a struggle. She was on edge most of the day, wanting to be independent, do things for herself. I was reading just recently, about how to help your love one. One of the things that stood out was allowing them to be as independent as possible. I'm taking that to heart. I have the desire to make things easy for her, and so, when it comes to so many things that I've taken over, I've forgotten, she can do somethings herself. So, now I stand by, and wait until she is frustrated in her effort to do whatever it is she is trying to do. Then, I ask if I can help her. Sounds so simple, but it isn't. 

Yesterday morning, I had to help her sit up to get out of bed. Her shoulder really cause her pain. Once up and in the bathroom and ready for the day. She allowed me to put some heat on her shoulder and use the vibrator on it. I know it is helping, time is the great healer, and so with this physical therapy, and rubs, relief is on the way. By the way, I was also able to repeat the therapy at bed time. 

At the end of the day, she was cranky and wanted to do something, and was all over the place. I think her shoulder is the cause of this behavior. I was able to rub some Stress Relief lotion on it, and within an half hour, she was down off the roof and we enjoyed the evening. I don't know if it helped the pain, all I know is her personality changed. She was calm, loving, and just a pleasure to be with. 

My pleasures no longer come from what I can do to please me, it is what I can do to please and help Sweetie. My Driver knows, and He is able to not only show me, He increases my pleasures of time with her. Even with the twist and turns on the Road to Dementia Town, there can come joy waiting around the next turn. As we go, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.