Loving her all the more.

Soulmates 

Have you ever had friends that are just that, friends for life? There isn't anything special about them and at the same time, they are so special that words cannot describe them. This couple and us have been attached at the heart from the first day we met them. When most people move away, the friendship will wilt because of the distance. With these two, it has grown stronger each day. When I talk with Jack, I can empty my heart of its acks, and have it be refilled with love and understanding. 

I need people like these in my life now. I speak with Jack once a week and have done so for the past 15 or more years. When I am unencumbered, they are one of the first destinations that I'll be taking, to hit the road and travel. I just might get out the old maps of Route 66, the mother road, and take it from Albuquerque to Chicago, then back. Put that in my bucket, and see if I can pull it out at the right time. 

Monday

Sweetie is usually awake when I go to fetch her. She wants to get up but the pain of moving is present and she is afraid. I know that if she stays in bed any longer than necessary, the pain will get worse. With gentle urging, and a strong arm for her to hold, we get her out of bed. 

Once up, we now wait for her to regain her balance and strength to walk. I've noticed her gimping on her right leg as she gets herself centered. So it is easy does it until she gets going. 

The morning routine seems to be working well. Up, the bathroom, then to the living room, couch, Muppet Show, breakfast and then I do what I have to do. That is usually putting cloths in the washing machine, making the bed, and stuff like that. 

As we head for the golf course, I judge our time by how Sweetie will let me touch her. I usually put my hand on her thigh, and she usually puts her hand on mine. When she doesn't do that, I know we are in for a rough morning. Yesterday was a good day.

I played with two friends that are not as good as I am. When they make a good shot for them, I tell them what a good shot it was. The lady friend asked me why it was a good shot. Because it went straight, got in the air, her swing was good, ect. 

On the last hole, she had a good drive for her, and again the complement, and again, I had to explain myself to her. When it was my turn, I nailed a drive, and she said now that is a good drive compared to hers. Its like she just doesn't get it. 

For me, I've learned to take complements even when in my eyes I don't deserve them. It is an adjustment of the ego. Humility is the key for accepting complements on caring for Sweetie. Keeping the goal in sight and working for it. Knowing that she depends on me for everything, and right now it is so natural for me to do the things that need to be done, sometimes I can't believe that I'm doing it. Not just doing it, but lovingly doing it, and loving her all the more. 

When you in the car with Driver, your a captive audience. I get to choose what I want to hear and learn. If I think I've got it hard, I think of Sweetie, and what she is going through, and then at Driver's hands and see His scars, and then I ask myself, is it that hard? Thoughts to ponder as we motor down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.      

Precious moments

Sweetie at Disneyland.

Stuck, I'm stuck in how to begin writing this morning. On of the little tricks I've learned over the past year on getting started is to just start writing. Letting you know the we are doing fine. It seems that I get stuck in trying to figure out how to talk about the same thing day in and day out.

Yesterday was a day of normal, sad, surprises, confusion, and joy. So, lets just get into it. 

Sunday 

It was the day that the boy's came over. I wanted Sweetie to be ready, but as you can think, how do you prepare someone with Dementia that some people are coming over to invade her sanctuary? If you haven't figured it out, you can't. 

No matter how many times I would tell her they are coming, she would forget. Oh well.

Sweetie was up earlier then normal for her. So we did our morning drill, and then off to the living room to, what else, watch TV. Being that it was Sunday, and here is where we now go to church. As soon as I turned Joel on, she seemed memorized by his message. Then, to Sagebrush to listen to Todd's message, again great interest. Finishing with Skip's message on marriage. Sweetie was aware, and paying attention. 

We had French toast for breakfast. First time in a long time for something other than eggs or cereal. She is eating more slowly these days, so I have learned to get up, clear my plate, and let her finish at her pace. 

When the boys and dad showed up, it overwhelmed her. Such a clamor of activity and voices. Bodies all over the place filled with excitement and movement. Her first reaction was to head of the bedroom. 

When she returned, son had brought his guitar and was going to serenade her with Christian Praise songs. As I gathered the storm of boys outside, he sat with her and she sat and smiled at him. Now, I wished I had taken a picture of the two of them. Precious moments. 

Meanwhile, out in the back yard, it was "Grampa, what do you want me to do?" The two oldest boys, it was do this or do that, and all I had to do was monitor, and advise. The youngest, was a little more creative stuff, like pull weeds, and in the clean up, he got to use the blower to clean up the clippings and dirt. He did a good job, I was impressed. 

Ended the work day with going to Sonic and getting treats. Sweetie didn't understand her mini blast, so it is now in the freezer waiting for a more quiet time to bring it out. 

The fun event was when they were leaving, Sweetie got out. I thought she was going to say good bye, silly me. She turned and went the other directions. I had to scramble and get her back into the house, for I was barefoot and wasn't ready for a walk. 

No sooner did I get her in the house, put on my flipflops, she was out again. Being prepared, we went on a walk. 2 times around the loop, and she was done. I could see it in her face and eyes. 

We finished the day in our comfort zone way. Couch, TV, and cuddling. 

When we went to bed, it was different then normal. She rolled over and we spooned for awhile. Me curled up around her, arm over her waist, and her holding my hand. We haven't slept that way in years. When I woke, she was still there, next to me, how wonderful it was. Easter egg at night, and first thing in the morning. 

We did some traveling yesterday, on the Road to Dementia Town. Went through sections where the flowers painted the ground with their yellow, blue and purple petals. Joys to behold, as we go, Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.   

Eagle opportunity

Sweetie and the "Per" boys.

The Er boys. Remember the movie "Ben Hur"? Charleston Hesston, was in the family last name Ben Hur. Well, if not by accident or coinstances, each name of the boys ends in er. The are left to right, oldest to youngest, Asher, Dexter, Jasper. The Er Boys. If you didn't notice, they love their grandma. I am so pleased that they welcome her in every time we show up. DIL, wants them to know who she is, and have memories of grandma's visits. Makes me feel all warm all over. 

Hired our second caregiver for us yesterday. The jury is still out as to how she will fit in, but from what I saw, she will work out just fine. 

Just to let you in on a secret, I'm tight with money and have been looking out more for my pocket book, then for my relief. The first experience with our first lady, and the freedom that she brought, I was able to see that we can afford it, and the relief it brought only made the second caregiver a natural idea. That means the cost to solution is well worth the value it brings to me. 

Saturday 

I was nervous about leaving Sweetie with the new caregiver, knowing Dementia doesn't like change. Adding or subtracting can be causes of emotional upheaval. At the same time, leaving her with her known caregiver gives me some relief. 

Gotta tell you about my golf game. How things progress is amazing. When I first retired and started playing again, I was spraying balls all over the place. I had one goal back then, play the round with the same ball I started with. Easy goal, you would think, it wasn't. then it was to have more better shots then bad. Then I had my first par, and then it was games with a par in a row. Yesterday, on the par 5, I was on in 2, and was putting for my  first ever eagle opportunity (that is 2 under par). So exciting for me. That will be my next big goal, to eagle a hole. 

Got home, and set about getting a working arrangement for lady #2. After they left, it took awhile for Sweetie to relax. 

I made her a half sandwich for lunch, and she ate it quickly, so good to see her eat. Later we took Tweety out for a drive with the top down. It was nice to get out on the open road and just drive. 

When we got home, I don't think Sweetie had completely unwind from the days experience with the new caregiver. I think this will pass as she gets to know her better. 

After we went to bed, I was awaken by the motion of her getting out of bed, she was wandering some, got up and checked on her, and she was fine. She soon came back to bed and back to sleep. I've learned that if I try to herd her back to bed, she gets defiant, and that gets her awake more, and the merry-go-round starts up. Tis better to make sure she is safe, and not worry about it. I know she will come back to bed when there isn't anything else to do, and she knows I'm there too. Between the bed and me, she knows she is safe. To me, that is all that counts. 

Safe, and the ability to relax, that is what I find when I'm riding with my Driver. Out the windows of the car, I see the land go by, with it, there are the beautiful landscapes, and the rut, fallen trees, and dried plants. They are as much of life and are the green flowering areas. As long as I'm with my Driver, they continue to go by, just like life with Sweetie, it just keeps on going. He knows when we will arrive at our destination, so we sit and watch the world go by as we are on the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.