Wind, sandwich, and shredded lettuce.

Tucson Squadron Reunion, 2012.

The wind kick up yesterday afternoon, we had finished playing another round of golf and finished what little grocery shopping we had to do. I had made our lunch, bologna sandwiches with pickle and applesauce, when we went outside, Sweetie didn't like the wind so we went back inside to watch TV and eat. I tried something new, I shredded the lettuce to see how she would accept it. Not a good idea. Being shredded, it would fall out of the sandwich and that would cause her to fixate on the lettuce out of the sandwich, which would get her confused as to how to eat the sandwich. I've learned that if I point out a part of the sandwich to eat and tell her to take a bit here, she would, and then on to the next bit and so on until the sandwich is gone. Cutting the sandwich in half has two possibilities, the first is two pieces and if she is having problems with the sandwich, ie part of it falling out, or being squeezed, something isn't just perfect, she won't want to eat the second half. I've learn to be firm with her and have her eat it. Second is there is too much for her to eat. That is handled the same way, be firm and insist that she eats the sandwich. 

She dearly loves the applesauce, the problem is the covering. She can get so wrapped up with the removal of the covering to the point of loosing what she is doing and forget to eat the sauce. I'm always keeping a watchful eye on her, because she will with one hand have the container and with the other reach for a scrap of something and start to spill what ever is in the other hand. Lunch is becoming a wonderful event. I'm just happy that she is eating. 

Because of the wind, we were not able to do a long walk in the evening, so I tried something a little different. Where we live, our neighborhood is built in a oval. With only one way in and out, so we can walk this oval just by itself. Found out it was about a quarter of a mile by lap, which I had always thought it was. Ran track in high school and it reminded me of the time I did some distant running. Sweetie was getting irritable watching TV, so we did a couple of laps and it worked. She was calm and we had the rest of the evening enjoyably watching until bed time. 

Bed time doesn't have the same meaning that it used to. Now it is checking her pullups to see if she is dry, making sure she is sleeping on her pad, got her jammies on, and then to sleep. I miss the kisses and tight hugs and feeling her against me. 

In one of my daily prayers, there is the line I have learned to shape my world around, "That I maybe reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with You, forever in the 
next." By saying that daily, I can look at my Driver and tell Him, "Ya, with all that is happening with us, I am reasonable happy." He tells me that without the sad, how would I ever know what happy is. He is so right. When He is driving, and I don't have a care in the world, I'm happy. When there are problems, He is there to remind me, that this too will pass, and I find myself measuring against the good stuff, and it isn't so bad after all. And it does pass. Just like the scenery outside the car, as we drive down the Road to Dementia Town. My Driver and me, with the cares of the world blowing off me and out the window and feeling refreshed. Relaxed in knowing that my Driver will keep us headed in the right direction, as He keeps our Shiny Side Up. Hey, is that you? Nice ride, and ya, your Shiny Side is Up, too. Take care, love ya and God Bless.      

Dementia is draining Sweeties memories.

Like fallen leaves, her memories are gone.

We have a globe willow in our front yard and in the fall, it doesn't loose it leaves slowly, like a elm or an oak, it drops all it's leaves in one or two days. What you see here is one day of leaf dropping from our tree. I thought it as a visual of the way Dementia is draining Sweeties memories. As if each leaf was a memory, they are now gone. What few are left, don't make up much and the threads that are holding them together is becoming thinner and weaker. 

Our walks seem to be helping her. She seems stronger and that is good. We've been out to the golf course 3 days this week and she has marched right along. Of course there is the constant encouragement that I am feeding her as we go. When we stop and have something to drink, I've come up with the phase for her to take a "big drink". If I don't she just takes a sip and that won't help her at all. 

The difference from when we started back to playing golf to now. In the beginning, she knew something of the game, she would, for example, know about holding the flag, when to remove it, and when to put it back. Now she just stands next to my clubs until I putt out. As of now, I'm just happy she can walk the course with me and not have a break down and want to go "home". 

It seems that we have got a good routine going now. When she gets up, I head her to the potty, then CBD, and breakfast. Outside is nice. No distractions, and she will eat her cereal without too much prodding. I put half a banana in her bowel, and I get the other half, and she will look at my bowel as we eat, as if to make sure we have the same thing and how I'm eating it. I've learned to slow down to her pace. If I get done too soon before her, she wants to stop, no matter how much she has eaten. 

Had a pleasant surprise last night, a phone call from her son. Maybe it was an answer to prayer. He just called to talk about some music he was listening to, Pink Floyd, and we talked for awhile. It was nice because I was thinking how little the kids seem to be concerned about us. I'll take it as an Easter Egg. 

I've said this before, Easter Eggs are best discovered the next day. That is what my Driver has told me. The hand of Providence is an invisible one while it is working, and to know that it has been working is to see it from the work it has done. Driver is like that, as we drive down the Road to Dementia Town, He'll ask me if I saw this sign, or that flower on the side of the road, and of course, I didn't. Yet, when we come to the end of the day, I can see it in my minds eye. It will only take a nudge and the Easter Eggs come into focus. My Driver is well aware on how much I am concentrating on the present and will miss the good stuff when it happens. I get many nudges when I write to you about my days. Thank You for the nudging. But it is time for me and Driver to get going on another adventure as we Drive down the Road to Dementia Town. Keeping our Shiny Side Up. I hope that you don't miss the flowers on your drive, as you Keep Your Shiny Side Up, too. Love Ya, and God Bless.    

The sun will come up.

Sweetie and her love for flowers.

What can you say about each day when they seem to be rolling into blur? For me it seems to be the same thing, wake up between 2:30-3:30 in the morning, shuffle downstairs to turn on the coffee pot then into my office, my man cave, which is also my sanctuary where I find peace of mind, time with my Higher Power, and here with you on my blog. No matter what it, there are two ends to this life, one was the beginning, and the other is the end. How long it is to the end, is not for me to know. What is for me to know is that the sun will come up this morning, and as the day goes on, it will head westward and down to evening, then to night, where I will then sleep to wake and do it all over again. 

My life, as it is, is centered on the care and maintenance of Sweetie. Each day is filled with questions that I have to answer. For now, they seem easy enough. What to have her wear, how to get her to brush her teeth, brush her hair, check her pullups, make sure the bed is dry, what to eat?

Last night for dinner, I did something new, well it is new for us. We had the old stable dinner, pork, mixed veggies, and mash potatoes. What was different this time was I mixed the meat and veggies into the mashed potatoes. I think because it was, or looked like it was one dish, not 3 different food groups, that she just went after it and it soon was gone. Before I get all excited, I'll try it again in a day or so to see if I get the same consumption.

Because we are part of the city Senior Living department, which helps with daycare, I get a call about every 6 months, and because of that, they ask about Sweetie's health. Part of that is her weight. As of now, she has maintained the same weight for the year, and that goes for me too. I'm happy for both of us. Must be doing something right. 

Part of doing what is right is the part of getting up, and out to the car where me and my Driver will spend time together. Me and my cool sunglasses, and Him with all the Knowledge and confidence of know it all, as He drives us down the Road to Dementia Town. He knows when to take a break, when to push through and how to navigate those hairpin turns safely. So, I'm out of here, in the car, as my Driver, as He puts it in gear, driving down the road, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. May you have that kind of day, where it is easy for you to Keep Your Shiny Side Up. Love Ya, God Bless.