Board of Education.

Sweetie and her Brothers.

I sometime think, why am I doing this? Or, I've been pushed to my ragged edge of wanting to leave, to get away, I can't. This damn Corona Virus is missing me up. Because of it, I've found other outlets to fill the day. Outlets that keep Sweetie on my hip. I can now imagine what God goes through with me. Seemly always needing supervision, to be next to me, helping me get through the day. When I think of my relationship with my God, and then compare it with my relationship with my Sweetie, I can see how frustrating it can be for Him. 

I don't have the patience of Job and sometimes my patience run pretty thin and is on the ragged edge. For the most part I've learned to put up with more than I ever thought I could. Then there are the times when that hair trigger goes off. It is usually when I've planned some event, some outing, just something for my own and, as if she knew how to get under my skin, Dementia goes into one of its many sundowners acts. 

My meetings have gone online. It was last night and we were settled in and sure enough, she let me know, she had to go potty. With minutes to spare, we headed to the bathroom and with my urging to get her on the potty so I could get back to my meeting, she got confused. The more I persisted, the more confused she got. The more confused she got, the more she traveled down the road to Dementia Town. 

Afterwards, for the entire meeting, she just clung to me with her head on my shoulder. I felt so dumb. Why is it that I cannot learn the lesson that if I put my wants and desires in front of taking care of Sweetie, it most likely will end in a disaster. Lord, get the 2x4 ready, that board of education ready to smack me with. 

About the only good thing about last night was going to bed and sleeping through the night. I've heard the stories of wandering all night long, of the constant ups and downs. That caregivers don't get any sleep and it drives them crazy. So far, so good, she is a good sleeper, and I hope and pray she stays that way. For one of my deepest pleasures in my inability of sleep more than 6 or 7 hours. 

We go to be between 7 and 8 pm, and with that, I'm up at between 2 and 3 in the morning. I get at least 6 hours of me time, writing time, and social media time. I also do my prayer and meditation, reading, and breakfast time. I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. 

Speaking of not being lonely, its time for my Driver to show up. I haven't brush my teeth yet, so I gotta go. Morning stuff needs to get done. Can't have bad breath while talking with Driver, bad manners. I know He'll have some plans for the day, so I'd better get going. He'll be here and off we will go, driving down the Road to Dementia Town, talking about yesterday and how to avoid potholes today. He's really good at that. He has to be, cause he's driving the car, keeping our Shiny Side Up as we go. I hope you have a good day, keeping your Shiny Side Up as you travel your day to wherever your heading. So long for now. Love Ya and God Bless.