Just like a baby.

I miss those days when she would help in the kitchen.

Living the the past with bitter-sweet memories doesn't get me anywhere. When I remember just how we were a team, working together, with her pushing me through a project, or encouraging me to be my best. I can still use those memories as I care for Sweetie on a daily bases. 

As my education continues, I've learned so much, the latest is, if she gets up earlier than normal, all I have to do is take her potty, change her undies, and put her back to bed. She will sleep another 2 hours, which is good for both of us. If she doesn't get her 12 to 14 hours of sleep, I pay for it. She will, at the end of the day, for she will be cranky and moody and most difficult to get her ready for bed. 

Lunch is getting to be fun. I have to tell her to finish her sandwich before she can have the applesauce. I let her have it before she finished the sandwich and she wouldn't return to the sandwich. Just like a baby, that when she got what she wanted, she wouldn't do want I wanted her to do. I'm thinking of not putting the applesauce on her plate, just get it after the sandwich is gone. Don't know yet.  

As we approach the 4th of July, and with all the fireworks that will be going off, and some started last night, I am concern how she is going to handle the noise. Last year was OK, we walked and went to our local park to watch some of the bottle rockets and other big neighborhood fireworks being shot off. This year, I just don't know. 

As the days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, and then years, my life with Sweetie, is in continual flux. You know the daily changes, yet they are always the same, slow decline of personality and memory. She cannot share the same joy with me of those special events. 

Tomorrow is my birthday, I'll be 73, and for once I'm happy to share that day with my DIL. Because I have to do everything for us, there isn't any surprise from her. I get what I want, and say it is from her, but it isn't and that lightness of heart just isn't there. 

As we head into the holiday season of the year, those special family gatherings just won't be as special, and I will miss that. I guess that's why I'm feeling melancholy this morning. But, than again, its me. 

When my heart gets low, I look forward to my morning drive with my Driver. He knows how to take that melancholy heart and turn it into a heart that swells with happiness and joy. I can tell Him all about the disappointments I feel, and He will turn my sadness into joy. Oh how great is that. And that is happening now, for He is here and waiting for me to get going. Up out of my chair, heading for the car, my how Shiny it is today. Slide into the passenger seat, glasses, check, tunes on, check, and down the Road to Dementia Town we go. I feel the melancholy being drawn out of me, singing with songs on the radio, as we drive with our Shiny Side Up. Let your drive be uplifting too as you head down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up as you go. Later, Love Ya, and God Bless.