Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Being worn down.

In the backyard, son's house. 

There are times, when I'm fearful of what this day will hold and then I find myself looking towards another day with my Sweetie. For me it is both a fearful and joyful day that lies ahead as I'm spending it with her. 

Yesterday's morning, I found Sweetie with a dry pad and that meant she didn't pee all night, none, and that could mean trouble with hydration during the day. I normally put new pullups on her, but the thought came to me, why? These are perfectly good and with them on, I shouldn't have any problems, check her during the day as see just how she is doing. I'm pleased it went well. 

That night, she got a new pullups and pad to sleep in. I then began to think, with these overnight pads, I might be able to drive to Cali for a couple of days and we could walk on the beach, stroll the pier, go to Knott's and just be with her. I am pondering one more trip to take her where she has always hungered to be, near the ocean. 

It would also be a chance for our granddaughters to see her one more time. It would be a quick in and out visit, and the drive home. I think it would also be a good change of scenery for me. Yes, I'd still be with her 24/7, but with memories of better times whirling about, it just might be a good release for me. 

Didn't play any golf yesterday, no carts, and I went to another course, no open tee times. So we spent the day walking the mall, shopping and a long car drive. We took Tweetie out this time and, you what, it wasn't as enjoyable as it should have been. I think I'm being worn down by the day in and day out challenges of being the only thinking partner of this partnership. 

After having a Friday off, I'm already looking forward to the next carefree Friday, only 8 more days to go. Before, I was afraid to get this time off, not realizing how much daycare was doing for me, and now, WOW, no strings, no shadow, no constant watching out for 4 to 5 hours. Like a bird out of its cage, even for a short time. 

Time is one of the things my Driver doesn't worry about. He told me that time is for me, a way of going from sun up to sun down. That is why I have an enjoyable time with Him. Time seems suspended on our road trips. Speaking of time, it is time for our continuing journey on the Road to Dementia Town. Off I go, got my cool sunglasses, buckled in, and in a cloud of dust, we're off. Down the Road to Dementia Town, through the twist and turns of the day, me and my Driver, smiling as He takes the wheel, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. Come along, He knows the way, and you too can motor down your Road to Dementia Town, with your Shiny Side Up. TTFN, Love Ya and God Bless.   

1 comment:

narkene said...

I know the feeling, especially thinking for two. I get some free time on Thursday's. I cherish it. I went down to the apartment laundry room today and hung around and extra five minutes. A neighbor came in and said how are you doing? I knew she would understand as she takes care of her husband with dementia. I said just enjoying a few minutes by myself.

A fitting farewell.

When we were young. I've been rummaging around and found this picture of Sweetie and me. We had been married for about a year when this...