Upside to Dementia

Hawaii, July, 2017

If there is a upside to Dementia it is this. Love. I have found that my love for my wife is deeper than anything that I ever thought possible. At this stage of our relationship, I can only wish that we were one person again. In the struggles of daily living, to have a partner to turn to, to talk to, to hold and be engulfed by that love is something that truly puts a hole in my heart. 

Today, we have a caregiver coming to watch Sweetie so I can go to my support group meeting. I think that it has put a strain on her emotional security. 

I'd shared my enthusiasm at lunch with the kids. On how I'll have time all to myself and I think Sweetie was effective by our conversation. She just wasn't right for the rest of the day. 

Her behavior was off, to the point I was getting worried. She struggled with her dinner, and wanted to wander shortly after that. None of the normal fixes seem to help. She went to bed earlier then normal. The CBD and lotion helped her some but not enough to make things "normal."

After she went to bed, I stayed up for about an hour hoping she would be asleep when I joined her. She wasn't, she was waiting for me. Here's the strange and wonderful gift, my special Easter Egg, from last night. As we laid in bed, she began to stroke my beard and face, as she used to do long ago. "I love you." whispered from her lips. Those words were very telling. She was telling me that she was sorry for how she was acting, that she is frightened of me leaving her, and most of all, she's scared. She understands that I'm leaving her tomorrow and she was acting out her fears. It also told me that in her way, she understood what is going to happen today. 

My hope is that it will be easier on her today then when I used to take her to daycare. Here she will be home, someplace that is a comfort to her. The other problem is I don't know what she will be like with the new person in the home while I'm gone. How she will behave and will I come home to the new caregiver sitting outside the house because Sweetie kicked her out.  

Only my Driver knows for sure. This is the main subject we are going to talk about on our ride this morning. He always has a open ear when I have cares and worries. With the car going down the Road to Dementia Town, the engine purring like a well oiled machine that it is, and of course, with our Shiny Side Up, we face the day together. I hope you too can have a smooth road ahead, as you travel down your Road to Dementia Town. Keeping your Shiny Side Up. TTFN, Love Ya and God Bless.