Shrinking.

@Knott's Berry Farm.

How times have changed. Sweetie was still so alive just a few years ago, to who she is today. She is becoming so frail these days. Lately she has been telling me that she isn't any good any more. And I keep telling her that she is fine. That we are both growing older and forgetful. I think she knows I'm not telling her the truth. It wouldn't matter if I did, she'd soon forget what I told her, and we'd be back on that merry-go-round again. 

She is becoming more fearful to be left alone. One of the comments about an earlier post said that she was afraid of loosing me. It makes sense. Fear and uncertainty must be taken into consideration. I know physically, her brain is shrinking along with the fact that it is dying, and that she must know the things that made her feel safe are disappearing. I can see it in her face when we are talking, and I tell her that she is safe with me, that I'll take care of her, that I'll love her no matter what. I can see the relief come over her, she'll look at me and tells me "I love You." We're good again. 

Been looking at our kitchen and all the dishes and cookery we have. I think today will be a Goodwill day. After golf and lunch, I will load up a box of some of those extra dishes and stuff and head for the Goodwill drop off. Then off to the mall for a walk about. Going to attempt to get in 3 laps today. We've gone from 4 to 2 laps, and I'm pressing to get a third lap in. Wearing these masks for the CV19 doesn't help either. A distraction at best, pain in the ass at least. She worries that she isn't wearing it right, and then she can't breath very well with it on. 

Driver is here and it is time for us to get going. I know I've got some concerns to talk to Him about. There is always that one big question, and the same answer, when it is time. Today forward seems like an eternity, but when I look back, it seems like a short time ago. I like to plan, and Driver tells me to trust. The future is in His hands, not mine and so it goes, as we travel the Road to Dementia Town, He knows the way, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. I'll be watching for you as you travel down your Road to Dementia Town, Keeping Your Shiny Side Up. Take care, Love Ya and God Bless.