Reasonable Happy

Could never understand her love for roosters.

There is a phrase in one of my morning prayers that keeps ringing in my head. "Reasonable Happy." At first, it was two words in my morning pray time. Lately those words are meaning more things to me then ever. Am I reasonable happy? When I use that phrase to encircle my life right now, I have to say yes. 

My life with Sweetie is what I make of it. I could find the anger to yell which there are times when I'd love to do just that. What good would it do? I think it would just magnify the anger not diminish it. So, I think, reasonably happy is good. For life isn't what I get out of it, it is what I put into it. 

Now, I have something that I can pour myself into, and that is Sweetie. She is becoming such a frail creature, and when she gets defiant, I am beginning it is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, fear of life. Our most precious moments are when she flashes on who I am, and is at peace. 

The idea that Sweetie's brain is dying and like any dying person, grasping for that last breath, fear of closing their eyes and not opening them again is real and present. I think in time these moments will be gone, and she will be just an empty shell, and I will be alone. 

Not totally alone, for my Driver is on His way now. Got the car all polished up, and the sun is shining, so off we go. Me with my cool sunglasses on, riding along, knowing that we're on our way to Dementia Town, with our Shiny Side Up. We won't be hard to follow today, just look for that bright spot, you can't miss us as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town, as we Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Love ya, and God Bless.