I just want this to end.

Hawaii, 7/'17 Our last visit. 

I'm late this morning. Didn't get to bed at my normal time. Sweetie came in while I was watching TV, and didn't want to go upstairs with me. There wasn't anything I could do to get her to move. After I turned out the lights, she did go back to bed, downstairs. 

The last couple of days have been difficult to say the least. With her sleeping as much as she does, and then not wanting her CBD, has caused me to think of just how I can handle this new stage of Dementia. 

It seems that she isn't attached to me as she used to be. Now, when I suggest we go somewhere, take a car ride, go for a walk, she will tell me to go, and she will go back to bed, or sit on the couch and stare at a blank TV. As we all know, it is difficult to give instructions to someone with late stages of Dementia, and lately it is getting very difficult. 

I have to make a trip to the grocery store, and I'm hoping that she will understand and go with me. Otherwise I will have to herd her into the car, buckle her in, and go. I just might be the right time to use the internal shopping app. 

Is this the beginning of the end? Or more like the ride, Pirate's of the Caribbean. The part when the boat goes down the tunnel, and comes out a different place. I think she is in that tunnel, going down to a new level for awhile. This will be her new normal, and one that I will have to learn on how to help her, and us, get through it. 

She hasn't had a bowel movement for 2 days, and last night we had Butternut Squash for dinner. Every time we have it, we get movement. I'm hoping today will be successful. Otherwise, we will have an oatmeal day. I know that gets her moving. I forgot to get milk of magnesia last time we were at the store, won't forget it this time. I do know, that when she is regular, she a much happier person to be with. 

I'm tired, and I just want this to end. I've told my Driver that, and He understands. The Road to Dementia Town is long. It doesn't matter how long the road is, there are days when I want to just stop and get out. Then, my heart tells me to stay. This is where I need to be, in the passenger's seat, with my Driver, as we navigate the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.