Life is good.

Life is good.

Yes, Life is Good. How can it not be. Think about it, just how many good days are there compared to bad days? 

Just because Sweetie and me are going through her Dementia together, doesn't mean that all days are bad, or that all days are good. Each day is what I make of it. I choose whether the day is good or bad. And, if you like, I can also choose which hours are good or bad. 

It is all in my choosing how each day will be. I'm more upset with myself when Sweetie and I have a tuff. It is more of my frustration with her, then anything else. Because I know, no matter what I say to her when she gets upset, there aren't any words that will settle her emotions, they have to play themselves out, they do not have boundaries and all I can do is hold on and make sure she doesn't hurt herself. Then, when it is over, it is as if nothing happened. 

Wednesday 

I was in my morning zoom meeting, when I looked and saw, not only was she awake, she was up and making the bed. The time to get moving was now. 

Yep, she was wet and cold. Getting going was on an early time table. Up, showered, dressed, I was able to sit her down, and she watched Winne the Pooh, while I went back to my meeting. 

In the past, when she would get up this early, she would come and sit with me during the meeting. That phase seems to have left the train station. For she would rather watch TV, then sit with me in a meeting. 

Being up as early as she was, it makes for a different day. It messes up her internal clock. So when it was time for us to head out to the course, she didn't want to come. So, I put her down for her nap, and left the TV on, in case she got up, she could watch her show. 

When I got to the course, my playing partner didn't show, so I went out as a single. When I came to the fourth hole, I was two over. There was a hush as I stepped up to the ball, I swung and had a good strike. Watching the ball in flight, (oo's and ahh's from the crowd) it was looking good. Said to myself, good shot, heading for the flag. When it landed on the green, just short of the flag, "What a great shot!" I told myself. Then the roll, it rolled closer, and closer, and then disappeared! HOLE IN ONE!!!! And the crowd went wild! In one shot, I fulfilled two of my golf bucket list goals. Of course the hole in one, and, because it was two strokes below par, it is, also, an Eagle! I can quit happy now. But not yet. There are still some high water marks left to do. 

When I returned to get Sweetie, she was still in bed, so I let her stay there. When she did get up, we had lunch and headed out for our walk about. Lately, it is me who is having the problem with our outings. My legs will start hurting, and it takes all my will power to make it through. There are times when the pain is so bad, I have to stop and sit for a few minutes to relieve the pain so we can finish. Then there are days when I can walk pain free. Go figure. Even on the golf course, I was walk the course, carrying my bag, and not have any problems. I think that is what bugs me the most. 

Dinner was a challenge. She tried to eat, it just wasn't happening. So, I cleared the table, and tried to sit down for the evening. She was upset with me for taking her meal away, so she sat stoned face for awhile. It wasn't until I got some cookies and milk did she loosen up. 

Bed time is tricky. She can be the warmest woman in the world while on the couch. It is when we head for bed that Dementia's balance comes undone. 

Some nights it is easy for me, I can just get her to take off her shoes, and get in bed. Last night wasn't one of those nights. Anything I said or did was all wrong for her. She yelled, she stomped, and at one point, I had to leave the room. When I heard her leave the room, I went back, she had taken the covers off, and was just storming around. 

At that point, the best thing I can do, is fix the bed and crawl in and wait for her to come back to bed. She soon came back and join me in bed. 

In the middle of the night, I was waken by her moving around. She was having a nightmare, and wanted to hold my hand. She was twisting and turning, mumbling about the boys, pulling me close then pushing me away. It went on for sometime and nothing I did would ease her distress. It seemed like forever before she was able to get back to peaceful sleep, it did and sleep returned. 

If you didn't know this already, there are some dark tunnels on this Road to Dementia Town. Some short, and some that seem to take forever to get through. The scariest ones are when there is nothing but black all around. Driver says for me not to worry. For He knows the tunnels, and they always end in the light. Like last night, I just had to hang onto her hand, try to make her feel safe and secure so when she does come out of the tunnel, she can find comfort there. It is all in the day of traveling down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.