Another tunnel.

What a beauty she was and still is.

Excuse me for loosing my thoughts for this post. I was counting the years, and she is 70 here. What a beauty she was, especially for her age. There are so many times that I've been blessed and have missed the blessings. This one here, I can now look back and see what I was given, and a one point in time, ready to give it all up. 

Our marriage is like a river. It is always on the move, flowing down stream to the ocean. There are times when the river runs fast, and then slow. Where there are rapids, swift, rocky, and dangerous. And then there are times when the river slows down, broaden, and forms a lake that is calm, but still moves onward.

Thursday

When I went to get her up, I could forget about her being dehydrated. She had soaked through her overnight pad. At the same time, she was cranky to get up. I've come to expect this behavior, it is more and more her normal state when she is getting up. 

Everything seemed to be going normally, that is until it was time to head out. We were going to go to a Bible study, Sweetie had different ideas on where we were going. 

She wouldn't get into the car, and when she was in the car, I had to fight to get her buckled in. 

Once in, she had her great stone face on, and wouldn't let me touch her. Hoping that when we got to the church, her CBD would kick in and we would have a good time. 

Nope, nothing doing. In the parking lot, she wouldn't get out of the car. No matter how much I tried, she wouldn't budge. To make things worse, on the way home, came to a stop, and my Bible, that I had put on the roof of the car, came sliding down to the street. Quickly putting on the flashers, jumped out and rescued it. 

When we got home, she wouldn't get out of the car, again. She didn't recognize where she was, and no matter how much I told her where she was and she needed to get out of the car and into the house, she just sat there. 

We've been here before. It seems that she is just so confused that she doesn't know what to do, and won't let anyone help her. After letting her sit in the car, with the door open to the house, thinking that she would come to some sort of sanity, and come in. 

With my frustration levels rising, I want out and got her out of the car and into the house. Where she immediately went to her safe spot, the bedroom. 

Knowing that there isn't anything I can do to help her get out of her funk and knowing she is safe in the house, headed for the course. 

I kept a close eye on her, and she stayed in bed all the time I was gone. 

When I got home, checked in with her, she seemed better but not herself. So, I left her where she was and went out to the living room. 

When she got up, and I'd talked her into going out for a drive and walk, is when I found something that might of been the cause of her distress, she had a huge BM in her pants. 

Off with the pullups, into the shower, and got her cleaned up. Clean, dressed, and into the car. She was still her stone face until we got to the mall. She seemed happy to be there. We did our walk about, and that had a effect on her. She was happy for the first time this day. 

After we got home, she was every unsteady. Up and down, and I was on edge with her too. I would give her extra doses of CBD, and that didn't seem to help, or if it did, I can only imagine just how bad it would of been if I didn't have it. 

We ended up staying in all night and that kept her happy. I'm beginning to wonder if we are moving into the stage where she just will not leave the house. Because it is too big and too scary for her to be out in it. 

It seems we've gone into another tunnel on this part of the our travels. Driver has the wheel in hand, and knows the way. For the Road to Dementia Town seems to change from day to day. I may not know what lies ahead, that is not my job. My job is to take care of Sweetie, while trusting in the faithful hands of our Driver. Tunnel or not, we will still have our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.