Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Construction zone.

Love shines through.


"How do I love thee, let me count the ways." A sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I've only heard the introduction line, one of the most popular lines in poetry. How about the rest? 

How do I love thee, let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

 I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

                             I shall but love thee better after death 


I have not, to my memory, ever read the poem, just the beginning. It could be the title page of everyone of my blogs. 

I've learned that this poem is about a love that has been in the hearts of the couple for a long time. It isn't an instant love, a puppy love, or the love of a child when it is born. 

This is a poem about a love that has been to war and returned home. A love that has been wounded and yet survives, a love that had it all and then lost it all except the lover. It is about a love that goes beyond sight, beyond life, to a forever love. 

Monday

Monday is a day of schedules, of getting the get go going. So, let's get the day started. Sweetie isn't in a get me up mood, and so it is up to me to get her going. 

She fought me until she had her feet on the ground. It is tough for her to get her balance today. Holding her hands, I guide her to the bathroom and start the morning process of getting going. 

She didn't seem just right as we headed for the table. I could tell she wasn't happy about being up, hope that will change after breakfast. 

She seemed a bit more up after she ate, but then she didn't want to go with me to the car, or anywhere else. This is where my teaching has taught me to leave her alone. If she is forced to do something, she will be in a worse mood then if she is left alone. 

Had the worse round in a long, long time. I know it is because of my lesson and trying to put what I was taught into practice. 

Back home, and she was still sleeping. Leaving her to her sleep, I went and watched a movie. 

Did get her up, and we went for our walk about. We made it and she was still not at all friendly. She didn't play, joke, or talk much as we made our rounds. She had her stone face on and was relieved that we were in the car. 

I'm hoping that tomorrow will be better. It seems that this is her new pattern. One real good day, then the next two or three of recouping. I'll just keep adjusting myself to her. Knowing when we need to be somewhere and planning her energy usage accordingly. 

Our evening wasn't as nice as it could have been. She ate most of her meal, then got up and took her milk back to the bedroom. 

After I retrieved her mild, she came and got it again. After that, she took her meat, wrapped in a napkin, back to her room. I knew I had to go and get the milk and meat. 

Found the milk, had to look for the napkin and found it in a drawer. She seemed bewildered by what was going on. She was like a ping pong ball, bouncing here, this way then bouncing off something and going a different direction. 

I had a meeting to go to, and thought for a brief moment, she would come with me. Got her to the car, and she abruptly turn and wouldn't get it, "Its not right." she would say, and I knew there wasn't anything I could do or say to get her in the car. The best thing would be to leave her in the house, and go to the meeting. 

Watching her in the meeting, she was laying in bed trying to go back to sleep. 

The evening wasn't our best. She wouldn't sit next to me. After some coxing, she did come over and sit. We had our cookies and milk and was thinking "At last." thinking she was in a good place, and relaxed.

9 o'clock came, time for bed, and she wouldn't have anything to do that. Damn that Dementia. So, turned off the TV, lights, and headed for bed. When we were in bed, wouldn't let me touch her, and I asked her if it was alright to say our prayers? It was, and I led us to finish the day.

It seems that there is come construction going on up ahead, as we travel the Road to Dementia Town. Driver and me will have to take it slow and easy until we reach the end of the construction zone. Slow and steady, with Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   


1 comment:

Mitzy said...

I am so sorry you had a bad day. We are away and I keep wondering how Mom is doing. Trying to relax while I have the chance.

Hang in there. Praying for you today.

A fitting farewell.

When we were young. I've been rummaging around and found this picture of Sweetie and me. We had been married for about a year when this...