One more step down the Dementia staircase.

Back for one more day.

This rollercoaster of life, never a dull moment with her. Even the quiet times are those times when I can capture them and put them into my memory box. 

If nothing else, I've learned that each and every day with her is precious. For at the end of that day, it is one less day that I will have her with me. 

How to give without receiving is a lesson that is sometimes hard to learn. Long ago, I learned that marriage isn't a 50/50 deal. That if I was to make my marriage work, and be worthwhile, I'd have to give her 100% of me and expect nothing in return. Marriage and love is a 100% giving, not a "If I do this, you have to do that proposal." For that puts marriage on a performance plan, not a loving plan. 

Love should never be based on performance, for we are human too. Humans fail each other everyday, and a marriage based on performance is destined for failure. 

We are in the part of our marriage that has to be on a giving plan, because that is where we are. I am the giver, which is strange for me, because I was always the taker. As we walk together, hand in hand, I can no longer be the taker, for she doesn't have the ability to be the giver anymore. So I give, and she smiles and for now that is more than I deserve.

Sunday

After a long Saturday with Sweetie, I'm just going to let her sleep until I see movement, knowing that she is ready to get out of bed. 

It is now time for her to get up. Shower morning. 

Up, into the shower we go. She is as cooperative as she can be. While we are in the shower, I have her sitting on the shower chair, washing her hair, and the rest of her. She is as helpful as she can be. We are blessed because she is still letting me wash her hair. I'm dreading the time when I cannot do this. 

Done, out and dried off, dressed and out to the table. Put on our church programs for her, and its back in the shower for me, my turn. 

Sunday is our egg and spam breakfast, with biscuits morning. As she watches church, I'm cooking, trying to time everything to come together at the same time. Almost make it, the biscuits are the slow ones this morning. 

Sweetie is more like old self and I'm willing to take a chance on her making it out of the house for a change. 

Taking Tweety out means some extra work for me in helping Sweetie into Tweety. I have to make sure I can open the door all the way for her to get in and out. If I want to drive both of them, I don't mind the extra effort. 

Once in, we head for the mall, this time we can only do a one and a half lap. She just gets too tired when we do the full two laps now. Just another sign that she is wearing out. 

Back to Tweety, in and now for a drive. I have a pattern that takes about 100 miles round trip. It is out to the Laguna Reservation, down through the reservation, next to the train tracks, then to Los Lunas and home. In the past, I would point out the cars on the track, or a train moving along the tracks, and she would watch with interest. Now, it is just a nod and maybe a glance. Today was a glancing day, and a nod off to sleep day.   

Sunday is our Marinara pasta dinner night. Sweetie needs a nap, and so that gives me time to start our dinner. 

Dinner time, and she is doing her start and stop, get up, wander and return. This time, when she gets back, I try feeding her, and it worked. She sat and ate as I fed her. Again, one more step down the Dementia staircase. 

We finish the day in our scripted way. It seemed like the most perfect day in a long time. 

Driver was on His game today. No swerves, no close calls, no pot holes to bounce with. Just a wonderful day on the Road to Dementia Town. Singing and laughing all the way with our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.