...and yet here we are.

She's a keeper.

Yes, she is, a Keeper. We've been together so long that I cannot think of not keeping her. With all the trials that we are going through, that we've been through, and those that still are ahead, I will not abandon her. 

She saved me way back when I didn't know I needed saving. Now that I've matured into the man I think I was meant to be, I can now face the future with her without dread. 

Dread, and interesting word. It, to me, is the fact of knowing that something fearful is coming my way. Anticipating fear. The fear of knowing that this isn't an easy life to live, to care for Sweetie as I do. 

Sometimes it is a very lonely lifestyle. Sure, there are those I know and meet with on a daily, or weekly, or periodically that fill some of the social needs I have. It is only a few that understand this loneliness. 

Dementia, Alzheimer's, are thieves. That not just take away those precious years that, as a couple, we've planned to spend together. Watching the sunset on some mountain, or beach, or just in our back yard. To grow old, to spoil our grandchildren, to watch our children become independent and successful.

Along with their thievery, they add to it, the second life of the spouse, of the sibling, or of the close friend that has stepped into that dark pit to help. It is because of their great love for this person, that they sacrifice their lives for them. Getting up, making sure they are cared for, cleaned, and dressed. I for one, never thought we'd be here, and yet here we are. 

Thursday

She is being difficult this morning. Fighting me all the way, until she is standing. That is when the fight leaves her, and she stands holding on to me. Round one is over, and I'm ahead on points. 

It is as if she is between sleep and being awake. She is going through the motions, and I'll take that. Getting her ready for the day is the most important thing for us right now. 

Today is our Bible study day. Looking forward to it. I find it to be a welcome break in our routine. For anything that allows me to have adult conversation is so welcomed. Sweetie seems to enjoy it too. For she will tell me about some point of the lesson that interests her. '

After that, it is back to our normal routine, heading for the golf course. 

We're solo today, and I'm glad. Sweetie is still in a mood, and I'm not sure what she will be like on the course. I'm uneasy about what she might do. A couple of times, when she is out of the cart, she starts wandering off. It is hard to concentrate on my golf game, while worrying about what she is going to do.

We make it through the round, head home for lunch and recovery. After lunch, it is to the grocery store and Costco. 

Costco is where I buy our meat, and we are all out of meat. I get our pork, beef, and salmon there. Bring it home, cut into servings sizes, wrap in plastic wrap, and into the freezer they go. I keep zip lock bags in the freezer, one for each meat. That way, we don't have to eat the same thing day after day. Yet after a while, it seems that we are eating the same thing day after day. 

While I'm taking care of the meat, Sweetie is taking her nap. Worried a bit because of the lateness of the day. I worry that she will be cantankerous when she gets up. 

Well, she doesn't disappoint me, she is grumpy to the max. Won't do anything. She does eat her dinner. I had to put it on the table and she ate by herself. When she was acting like she wanted more, she wouldn't let me take the bowl and give her more, so I used a second bowel to get her more food. When that was done, she headed off back to her nest. The good thing was I was able to give her a dose of CBD and was waiting for it to kick in. 

It is meeting night, and I'm in charge of opening the building. Thinking of leaving her home. Then, as I watch her, she is taking pillow covers off the pillows, attempting to do something with the covers, and generally being too busy to leave alone. 

Taking control, which isn't control with her anyway, I get her into the car and off we go. Upon arriving, the CBD I gave her is starting to do its magic, and we end up having a good time at the meeting. 

Getting home, we have our dessert, watch a little TV, and off to finish the day with my under the cover lover. 

It seems that we found some rough roads today. Which is more normal than not, for we are on the Road to Dementia Town. Driver handled it well and we were still able to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.