Fought for our love to live.

Reading in bed, how I miss this.

You can see that by the date on the picture, it was just over 7 years ago, that we would lay in bed and read. Then, as you would guess, she lost that ability of reading. Soon the bed became just a place where we would sleep. There wasn't anything else to do. 

I've been asked, how did you do it? For me, it was just as the Niki ad used to say. I just did it. I learned as we went. Somethings, I just knew, because I knew her. Somethings you never think about when you are young, and it is somethings that each and everyone of us do. 

At times there was the thought that that I was taking care of an adult child. I remember taking care of my two daughters when they were babies. The changing, the cleaning, the bathing, the feeding, it was like that, but more. 

Sweetie and me, we had a history together. We had a life together that was filled with ups and downs, filled with love and not so much love. We loved, we fought, and then we loved some more. 

It is the some more that is special. For it was the making up after the fight that made all the difference. We fought for our love to live. 

Thursday

Good morning Thursday, one week ago, Sweetie made her way out of life, and into Everlasting Life. So far, I've been able to manage my mornings. I've spent so many morning alone, in prayer, reading, and, of course posting, that it seems normal. I always think of Sweetie still in bed, asleep, and waiting for me to wake her. 

Even though she isn't here, she is. It seems like a contradiction terms, that is just how I feel it. 

Got something to do this morning. It is our Bible study morning. So glad that I have somewhere to go. It gives me purpose, a reason to get up. So, up I get, and on with my day. 

Haven't gotten the eating down yet, will give it another try. 

After my morning zoom meeting, it time to talk with my youngest. She calls, and we are talking more and more. 

We hit a hard place. She wants so much for me to be with her, so she can comfort me. I understand her feeling. We had talked about me going and spending time with both of them before the beach memorial. Because of circumstances, it didn't work out that way and she is hurt. 

Next thing I know, her sister is involved, and wants to know what is going on. Oh Dear Lord, I just want to take care of Sweetie, to get the memorial done so I can carry on with the rest of my life. I never though that was going to happen. So much drama. 

After the Bible study, I hurry home, the pick up is coming at one, or so I thought. 

Yep, no pick up, no call, nothing. Going to give it one more day, without any calls and if they don't come for it, I'll leave a message that I'm putting the bed and chair on the drive way for pick up. Betcha they will come a get it real quickly. 

Finished my day on a high note. After the meeting, called my upset daughter, and we worked it all out and so all is good. Asked her to make a marker for the memorial, so those that are coming, will make it easier for them to find us. She eagerly accepted the task and that made me happy.

I want to, and Driver understands, linger. It is my way of mourning. Just not ready to leave just yet. After all, we have been heading this way for so long, why jump back in the car and leave. For after all, there are things that I should see while we are here in Dementia Town. So, we slow down, and do some sight seeing. For after all, we still have Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.