Sweet memories.

Her smile.

Each day is just a little easier to be without her. I find myself turning the corner in the house, and talking to her. I sit on the couch, where we would sit, and have put a big pillow on the spot where she would sit, and rest my hand on where her leg would have been, and confort myself with my surrogate Sweetie. 

The next two weeks are going to be the roughest for me. Right now, I can dance with her in my heart and mind. In the next week, I will be telling my friends my good byes to her. I'm going to have to figure out what I want to say. 

When I used to give a message at the Rehab center, I would spend time preparing, to write my message out, and have some idea on what I would be talking about. Even then, I would go off script. 

Or I could just wing it, speak impromtu, let my heart lead my mouth. 

It won't really matter which way I do it, I will always say to myself, I should of said this, or that, or speak about some special event we went through. 

I'm doing something that I shouldn't, talking about the future. Putting my fears of not saying the right thing, and worrying about it. For those that will be listening, they won't know what I left out, they will only know what I say about Sweetie. 

Friday

It is going to be a busy day. For this morning is my men's support group meeting. So there isn't any lingering to do. I have to stay focus on my schedule. 

Something new this morning at the meeting, we have a representative from the Alzheimer's Association with us. He is announcing the re-opening of the Alzheimer's doors, and is asking if we want to be a part of their outreach. 

I doesn't mean much to us, for we don't have to do anything, what it does is gives men who are looking for support a way to find us. Which is a much needed resource for all concern. 

When I joined the group, there were more men taking care of their wives then widowers. Now it is the other way around. The pandemic has cause action. Of course, Alzheimer's doesn't stop, just people not knowing where to find help. The the Association back backing us, I pray that we will get some new men that need our experience and help. 

After the meeting, time for my lesson, and conversation with my teaching pro. It is good for me to get my mind working on my swing, and nothing else. 

I get a text from my grandson, at last a word, and he wants to have lunch, and having already having had lunch, it is a dinner date. 

I'm late, and have forgotten my phone. When I arrive at the restaurant, I can't see him, so I wait at the door. Soon, he sticks his head around the corner, and we are together again. 

Hope we spend more time once more. I think he is going to come a stay with me next week. We spent time re-acquainting ourselves. One of the things I was bound a determined to do, was ask about him, not tell him what he should do. 

He used Uber to get to the restaurant, so it was perfect to give him a ride in Tweety. We had a good evening, a start and a chance to repair our relationship. 

Driver and me are just looking around and we find a park. And in the park is a flower garden. Sweetie always loved flowers. She would want to touch them, smell them, and just admire God's workmanship. I think about how we would go to the botanical garden and walk through the exhibition, touching and smelling her way through. So, Driver and I linger as the sweet memories of Sweetie and her flowers overflow me. I can rest, for I am Keeping my Shiny Side Up, C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.