So we wait...

Sweetie and her youngest.

Hard for me to get started this morning. I'm in a fog, knowing and not knowing what to say here. As we plan the memorial, I can see how much it is weighing on them. It is not the same for me, they have their husbands, kids, and other activities to keep them busy, not living in the loneliness. 

I know that they are doing their best and as you can imagine, it isn't the same as walking into an empty house, with a mechanical cat greeting you. My loneliness is upon me before I come around the corner and push the garage door button. 

I know that I will live on. That is one of the greatest gifts that she left me. Live on, for just as she is in heaven, I must do what I have to do to live. 

I sometime surprise myself, that I'm not as weepy as I think I should be, then again, I've pretty much prepared myself for this day. There are times that I will feel the need to cry, it isn't as pressing as it was when she passed. The loneliness will ebb away, and joyful memories will take their place. 

Saturday

The Kids are coming, the kids are coming. Yep, the kids are coming and here they are. Forming as much of a circle as we can, we start the planning. 

I tell them of what I want, and then seek their suggestions. 

We talk about she favorite hymns, and modern Christian music, decide on them. As for pictures for the slide show. I'm thinking of more than 10 to send to the pastor. 

After the plans for the memorial here, we start on the one at the beach. What we have come up with, is purple cups with some ashes in it, mixed with sand, and given to each of those with us there. Then they can do as they wish with them. 

The one big problem is, how are we going to cook the hamburgers? We don't have anything to do that. No BBQ, grill, tools, or food. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. 

After the planning is done, I ask the kids to tell stories about their mom. For some, I think it is still too close to her passing, and not ready to share. 

I believe that I'm going to be the only one speaking that day. I'm going to teach them our walking song. Share the love we had, and still do, then let people share their stories about Sweetie. 

It was a good two hours with the house being filled with family. Brought her jewelry down, and her Bibles down, and the girls quickly snatched them up. 

After everyone left, I wanted to talk with Sweetie, asking her how it went? I thought it went well. We are going to have a great memorial. 

The rest of the day was filled with golf, some TV, meeting and bed. A full day. 

As I can see it, Driver and me will be in Dementia Town for another week or so. Driver wants to get some maintenance done and the parts need to be ordered. It seems that the engine is tuckered out, and that may take awhile to replace. So we wait in Dementia town, and take our time looking around, because as you know, we'll be Keeping Our Shiny Side Up while we are here. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.