Honor her, love her, and remember her.

Love of my life.

It is not supposed to be this way. And so, I'm going to do something about it. I'm not ready to put Sweetie into the sea. 

I'm being pulled apart with other ideas about the beach and spreading her ashes. People are adding their ideas, and the whole celebration of her life is getting buried under what others want for my Sweetie. 

Then along with that, I don't have her back yet. These plans have taken on a life of their own, and I'm going to put a steak in the middle of its heart. I am not going to be pushed in this direction and that direction to make everyone happy. For all they are going to know is that I'm keeping her with me for awhile, I'm just not ready to let her go. 

I can blame myself for letting it go on for so long and now I know I need more time. Time to grieve, time to mourn, time to just sit and be alone with her. I just want to be left alone, to sit and reflect on our life together, to slowly let my love for her soak into my being, to live again inside of me. I'm just not ready to start living my life anew, not yet.

This coming Saturday Memorial for Sweetie will be just right. A celebration of her life, with those who have known her, and know me. This is the day I look forward to. This is the day that my heart will be broken and healed. 

Driver is letting me know, it is the right thing for all. When I get all up in the air like this, I will do or say something that will cause me to regret what happens. I don't want that to happen with my Sweetie. Honor her, love her, and remember her. That is the best we can do, as we walk the streets of Dementia Town, Keeping my Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.