Sweetie and me.

A heart felt reminder.

Day 12, and it hasn't gotten easier, just that I've gotten a little more comfortable with her not being here. I'm becoming more acceptable with the emptiness that fills our home and my heart. 

I am so grateful that I have my grandson with me. He is helping me get through these early days of widow-ship. Widow, it isn't a word that fits in my mouth well. 

I have this concept of words that "fit" in my mouth comfortably. The new title of Widow doesn't seem to fit just right. It is like the word Lover, Husband, Father, these are words that I put on, and they fit well at first. Then as time went on, they needed some alteration and repair. These are the word-clothes that I wore while being married to my Sweetie Pie. Now,this new suit is a bit tight and stiff, yet as I wear it, I know it will grow soft and more comfortable. 

Monday

It is my first morning with me having a house guest. He's not going to be here long enough to become a pain in the butt, just long enough for us to begin the hard work of re-building a relationship that will endure the times of life. That is my hope. 

It is also day 11 that I still have that bed in my house. They are supposed to be here around 2. I'm taking bets that there is again, another no-show. 

Don't want to dwell on that, so it is time to get pictures together to send to the pastor. I told him I had a ton of pictures of Sweetie, and was going to let him have just a few. 

It was fun for me, looking at them again for a different reason. I know I share with you some of my pictures of Sweetie and Me, you just don't know the amount of pictures I have of us. 

I loved taking pictures of her, it documented our life together. Between this blog and the memorial, I had to live my life over again with her. To be reminded of the wonderful life we had. 

To the movies we go, this time for the Spiderman's movie. Again, OK for me. Because they are now making movies over two hours long, they have to fill the time with dialogue, and stuff that just doesn't seem to fit the movies. Over all, I'd give it about an 7 or 8. 

Seeing the time, we rush home hoping for the miracle of the men to show and take the bed away. About 4 when it seemed obvious that they were not going to show. Another call was made. This time, I left the person a message, that if they didn't get the bed tonight, tomorrow it would be on my driveway. If they didn't want it stolen, they would come and get it. Also, went to their website, found the comment page, and told them the same thing. What I don't understand is this simple idea, that if they missed a pick up that day, why isn't it a priority the next morning?

Grandson and me set up the X-Box, and found a golf game to play. Unfortunately, it is a one person game, like most games are. So, he played his game, and I played mine. 

Awake to another day in Dementia Town. This time will give me time to learn how to live without tears, in public. I found out that I'm going to be speaking at a ceremony that will honor Sweetie. So, this is a good time for me to gather my thoughts, and somehow tell the story of our life, our love, and my sorrow, as we walk the streets of Dementia Town, Keeping my Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.