Young lovers.
I don't know how we ended up saving this picture, over all the years, over all the moving, over all the fights, it stayed. How I can look back a know that we were in Las Vegas, and had our picture taken by the casino's photographer. What a babe she was when we got married.
Now I am old, and she is just a memory. Sounds like a line out of song or movie. I wonder just how many songs and movies are made from this prospective? A young couple meet, fall in and out of love, fall back in love, marry, and live the life that neither had dreamed of. At the end, one is left to bear the burden of that life, that love, those wonderful memories and the trials to make those memories wonderful.
During our life together, there were times when we both felt that it wasn't worth living and were on the edge, just one more step, one more drink, one more... and it would be gone.
Driver has told me that there always needs to be a contrast to bring out the brightest stars. For you see, those dark days made the ending of our days together, to be that bright star flaming across the sky to celebrate a once in a life time love.
Wednesday
I was so sure, today was my appointment at the VA, to sit down with my doctor and discuss what is going on with me. That didn't happen. I blew the time. I thought it was at 11, and it was suppose to be 9:45. Oops. Anyway, was able to reschedule for July.
Did get some information on a form the VA sent me after Sweetie's passing. I have to give them a Death Certificate and remove her from my disability payments. So, finding that out, I will return tomorrow and get it all taken care of.
Not wanting to return home, I headed for the mall, and was going to do a walk about, alone. I was a little bit scared to do this thing. For, I was going to do something that just isn't right. Walking around the mall alone. It felt empty, but I did it anyway. As I walked, and watched others go by, I began to sing to her, and I felt better.
Decided to go to Costco and renew my membership. While I was there, got a hot dog and soda. It may sound strange, haven't having one in all those years, it was one of the best meals I've had in a long time.
Ended up sharing my table with a mom and her air force son. As the conversation grew, she told me of the lose of her father, and, of course, I told her about Sweetie. It was one of those divine appointment with a angel. She just encouraged me to keep going with my ideas and plans for the blog.
Had a good day, and Driver is happy that I'm starting to engage with daily life. Got some plans for this day, and the next, and the next. Driver will always lead, I will always follow, for we are on the Road to New Life, and as always, Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.
1 comment:
I think of you often, as I go through my mothers dementia and my fathers multi system atrophy (MSA), compliments of Agent Orange. You’ve handled your long goodbye with such grace and honesty. I thank you for sharing your story and I look forward to hearing about life “after”.
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