Upside to Dementia

Hawaii, July, 2017

If there is a upside to Dementia it is this. Love. I have found that my love for my wife is deeper than anything that I ever thought possible. At this stage of our relationship, I can only wish that we were one person again. In the struggles of daily living, to have a partner to turn to, to talk to, to hold and be engulfed by that love is something that truly puts a hole in my heart. 

Today, we have a caregiver coming to watch Sweetie so I can go to my support group meeting. I think that it has put a strain on her emotional security. 

I'd shared my enthusiasm at lunch with the kids. On how I'll have time all to myself and I think Sweetie was effective by our conversation. She just wasn't right for the rest of the day. 

Her behavior was off, to the point I was getting worried. She struggled with her dinner, and wanted to wander shortly after that. None of the normal fixes seem to help. She went to bed earlier then normal. The CBD and lotion helped her some but not enough to make things "normal."

After she went to bed, I stayed up for about an hour hoping she would be asleep when I joined her. She wasn't, she was waiting for me. Here's the strange and wonderful gift, my special Easter Egg, from last night. As we laid in bed, she began to stroke my beard and face, as she used to do long ago. "I love you." whispered from her lips. Those words were very telling. She was telling me that she was sorry for how she was acting, that she is frightened of me leaving her, and most of all, she's scared. She understands that I'm leaving her tomorrow and she was acting out her fears. It also told me that in her way, she understood what is going to happen today. 

My hope is that it will be easier on her today then when I used to take her to daycare. Here she will be home, someplace that is a comfort to her. The other problem is I don't know what she will be like with the new person in the home while I'm gone. How she will behave and will I come home to the new caregiver sitting outside the house because Sweetie kicked her out.  

Only my Driver knows for sure. This is the main subject we are going to talk about on our ride this morning. He always has a open ear when I have cares and worries. With the car going down the Road to Dementia Town, the engine purring like a well oiled machine that it is, and of course, with our Shiny Side Up, we face the day together. I hope you too can have a smooth road ahead, as you travel down your Road to Dementia Town. Keeping your Shiny Side Up. TTFN, Love Ya and God Bless.     

Ravished by Mr. Sundowners

My Sweetie

Do you know the feeling of knowing that the decision you made was the right one? How it can lift the weight off your shoulders? That is what I feel like this morning. 

Having made plans for a caretaker to come in and be with Sweetie on Friday, seems so freeing. And now that I've made that decision, I'm thinking of doing it every two weeks. At least until daycare opens up again. (which I don't think is going to happen anytime soon.) It gives me an opportunity to have some "Me" time. 

During the interview, we talked about giving medicine, and what they are trained to do, and what they don't do. I told them about CBD and the Stress Relief lotion, on how it works in concert to relieve sundowners symptoms. They were impressed and said that they never heard of this before. Who knows, may have opened up another pathway of comfort to someone that is being ravished by Mr. Sundowners. 

Yesterday was adding another pearl on the mundane neckless. No real ups or downs. We even played some extra holes on the golf course. which was nice for a change. If this new caregiver works out, I just might be able to play a complete 18 holes for a change. 

Well I've got my plans for the day, and the first and foremost plan is to spend time with my Driver. He is the one that puts my plans into prospective. He knows what is down the road, so He can equip me to make the best choices. And as if on que, here He is. The car is shinned up and off we go. Got those cool sunglasses on, and safely buckled in, with a roar of the engine, off we go. Motoring down the Road to Dementia Town with our Shiny Side Up. Hope you have your seat belt on as you go, remember, it is the Shiny Side that needs to be Up on your Road to Dementia Town. Drive safely. Take care, Love Ya, and God Bless. 

Trying to catch a lizard.

Just 5 years ago. 

I did something yesterday that I hope will work well for me and Sweetie. With the first face to face Alzheimer's support meeting coming this Friday, I needed someone to care for Sweetie while I was attending it. Not knowing what to do, I texted the daycare group, got a suggestion, and acted on it. If all goes according to plan, I'll have a trained professional over to take care of her. For the first time in 4 months, I'll be without my shadow. I feel like a kid the night before Christmas. 

Yesterday was a good day for us, things went well. I've decided to keep Sweetie in the golf cart as much as possible while we're on the course, keep the cart positioned as to keep her in the shade. Again, watering her, the age old trick, I take a swallow, and hand her the bottle. If she refuses, I wait a few minutes, and hand it to her again, very non shallot and seems to work most of the time. If she feels that I'm forcing it on her, she push the bottle away. That's when I'll put it down, wait, and then do it again. Most of the time it works. 

Last night, her ability to follow instructions became quite clear. I put some Stress Relief lotion on her hands so she could rub it in. What happened next was a page out of confusion. She would say she was trying but her actions just didn't match what she was doing, and the more I tried to help her, the more she fought me. It was like trying to catch a lizard, just when you think your going to get it, it would switch directions an on and on we go, until she finally got it done. Whew, what an adventure. I'm going to go back to putting it on the back of her neck, that way she won't have to do any of the doing. 

Happy to report that Mr. Sundowners didn't come calling at all yesterday, but that doesn't mean everything was hunky dory. A snippet here and there, but nothing I could handle. All in all, there were Easter Eggs scattered though out the day. 

Well, Good Morning, Driver. Time for us to head out. And head out we will. I know it was His prompting that lead to the solution of someone to care for Sweetie, I just wonder what He has up His sleeve today. I'll never know sitting here, so up and at them. What a gentleman He is. He's got everything I need waiting for me. In I go, sliding into the passenger's seat, glasses on, and buckled up. Got the radio on, sings praises and hymns as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town. Being careful to avoid the bumps as we drive with our Shiny Side Up. Where ever you wander, I'll know you because you too will have your Shiny Side Up, as you motor down the Road to Dementia Town. Have a great day, See ya, Love ya, and God Bless.