It was nice.

December '15

I don't know if you can make out the picture in the background, the top one, it  is of my grandfather, Pop, taken while he was a flight instructor During WWII. I don't know how I ended up with it, all I know, is that I keep and honor him.  

Life is a trampoline, with a lot of bouncing, tumbling, and sometimes getting bounce off. I've got to get Sweetie into a shower soon. I realized that the dirt under her fingernails is from scratching her scalp. I get to watch and be like Sherlock Holmes, seeing the results of an action, then attempt to figure out what is going on. Finally put 2 and 2 together, clean nails, watch her scratch, nails dirty again. Duh. 

Living with Dementia is sometimes like a continuing detective novel. Many bad guys, only one boss. Am able to herd the bad guy, cannot get to the big boss, Mr. Dementia is always out and about, having his minions serve him, and serve him well. 

Yesterday was our first time of separation in months. Sweetie wasn't having anything to do with it. Before I was even out of the house, she was trying to get out of the house. She didn't want to be left with this stranger. An interloper into her small world. Over all, it was successful. I got my time away, just for a few hours, and it was nice. 

When I got home, Sweetie was in bed, and my new caregiver was OK. We talked about Sweetie, and then she told me see needed something to do while she is here. Lite housework, some task she can relieve me of doing. Gosh, I've never had someone that would offer to do that. She is trained, and works with Dementia patients. She said she would relive

me of bathing her, if I wanted. Wow, wouldn't that be nice. Still working on letting go some of that. I've been doing it so long, I may not want to let it go. Then again...

This is where my conversations with my Driver come in. It will be awhile before I have to make that decision, and I know He will guide me to the right one. For we have miles and smiles yet to go, as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless. 

 

 

Dementia wilderness.

O Christmas Tree

Not the same, but the same. It seems that the Christmas tree has found a home. We used to put the tree up in this corner, or on that wall. Then for years, we have found a place that seems to work every year for quite some time. One of the advantage of having a artificial tree, is that it is the same size year after year. Therefore, it can find a place and for the years to come, establish a home. 

Another tradition we have is to put Christmas cards on the tree. We started that about 3 years ago. With the electronic age, we get fewer and fewer cards, and with the ones we do get by adding them to the tree, seems to make the tree grow, and we can see them easier. 

Dementia is a tricky disease. Yesterday was a day that goes into the memory box. We had our moments, in the usual places, but all in all, it was a great day. 

Started by getting Sweetie to take her balance medicine before she got up. I let her sleep in, and when I went a checked on her, I took the oil in with me. The idea was why wait. If I can get some oil into her before she gets up, I am jump starting her brain back to me, and not letting it wonder into the Dementia wilderness. It worked and we had a pleasant morning. 

I'm not worrying about her not eating a good breakfast anymore. The thinking she has to get a full tummy to start the day is going out the window. What she is doing is doing now is she sits at the table, and moving the cereal around in the bowl and then she yawns, and off to bed. I worry about her basically starving herself. She does drink her ensure, and that will have to do. 

It is lunch when she is different. She will devour a sandwich and applesauce. Maybe breakfast is to soon after she gets up. So, I think she will be fine. Right now, she seems to be maintaining her weight. So, something is going right. 

Her ear is much better, and with a little authoritarian in my voice, I can get her to hold still while I clean and put more Neosporin and Tea Tree Oil on the wound. A couple more days, and it will be healed, I hope.

Have a person coming in today to sit with Sweetie, so I can get a couple of hours away. Son and I are going to play a round of disc golf. It will be nice, I hope this will become a relief for me. Still need someone to come in on a Friday so I can gather with my support group. One step at at time.

You guessed it, one step at a time, and one day at a time, a quote from my Driver. He is full of these folky sayings, like, "I will supply your needs", while I'm looking at wants. Then there are the times when they are the same. We're going to stop later today, and I can get out and stretch. He knows my needs. For it is a long road ahead, as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless. 

 

To take the wheel and drive myself.

Christmas '19

"Just leave me alone." "You never tell me anything." Then the tears. I get this a lot from Sweetie when the Hemp Oil wears off. The standoffishness, the pulling away, the pushing away are just some of ways she acts. Couple with my efforts to help her and her refusing my help is the most frustrating thing in the world. She won't let me touch her, let alone put the Stress Relief Lotion on her hands. I've become the villain and the one to be feared. She becomes a spoiled child who knows more than anyone else in the room. 

Yesterday, talked about how memory loss and try not to argue with them. I try to reason with her, and when she is in her Dementia world, nothing makes sense to her. So, I have to be sneaky as Gollum to get her to do what is best for her. When it comes time to check her pullups, I've found if I get her into the bathroom and just wear her down, not letting her out of the bathroom, is the only way to get it done. When finished, I always thank her for letting me take care of her. And, of course, she is happy the ordeal is over. 

She has begun to develop two new patterns. One is while she is eating, she will suddenly stretch, and get up and head for the bedroom, get in bed and go to sleep. That is all fine and good until the night comes. She spent last night in that back bedroom. I think she is moving herself into that room. I'm slowly moving things down stairs to accommodate her.

Her ear is still red, and because she refuses to let me treat it, it is getting redder, again. Maybe I'll have to trap her in the bathroom and wear her down so I can clean and apply medication to it. It will take a long time to heal because of her sleeping patterns, I won't give up. 

Either will my Driver. Giving up isn't in His vocabulary. I'm learning it too. Even when I blow up, I'm back quickly, for there is only me and Him to care for her. I know that I'd love to have some control on this journey, to take the wheel and drive myself, and then again, I don't know which off ramps to take and He does. For we are on the Road to Dementia Town with our Shiny Sides Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.