Sweetie and me did a small easy hike into the foothills of the 

Sandia's. 

 

 Think, think, think, just how do I start this post this morning? Do I comment on the pictures of Sweetie, or do I tell you how I feel? Just what is it that I want to expound upon today.

 

Lets start with the morning, Tuesday is our movie day, so I let Sweetie sleep, the less she is up, the less I have to be on guard. That may seem like a mean thing to say, and on the surface it is. Consider this, I'm the only one taking care of her, I'm the only one that is constant contact with her, and I am the only one that, in my opinion, really loves and cares about her.

 

This disease takes capture those who are the closest to it. For us caretakers, we are there for them and because of our closeness, we get attached in ways that sideliners never will.  Caregivers know about the mood swings, the cursing, the depression that can come with Dementia's victims and we deal with it. 

 

Don't get me wrong, I know my family has lives to live, children to take care of, and lives of their own. They aren't there for the wet pants, the dirty depends, the sitting with them while they sit on the toilet, not really knowing what they are there for and then cleaning them up. Trying to find a meal that they will eat, getting them to drink water. The tricks we learn on deflecting and redirecting conversations so we can calm them down, and get some peace for ourselves.  

I don't have time to hold resentments about this love-job I've volunteered for. I can't, I took a vow:

 For better or for worse;

In sickness and in health;

Until death do us part. 

 

No one else took this vow with me. It was a lifetime contract between me, Sweetie and our God. The only way I can keep this contract is with my God's help. He is the one that gives me the strength, the love and mercy I need to love, take care of, and show her mercy everyday. If left up to me, there are times when I just want to turn and walk away. When that happens, I get this tug in my heart, and something beautiful happens and I am reminded, that I'm not doing it alone, I have supernatural source that is just waiting for me to tap into.  

Because of this, I can look for and find those special Easter Eggs as time and days go bye. 

Gotta go, I have some polishing to do, cause as you know, I'm keeping my Shinny Side Up. God Bless.