A non returnable Love.

At Dad's place. 

What is there to talk about this morning? Not much. For you see, Sweetie slept most of the day away. She slept, or should I say, I let her sleep till noon, and then we went to the golf course so I could hit a some balls, walked in the mall and home. Where she immediately wanted to go to bed. That was around 5pm. She didn't insist that I go with her, so I got some down time. When I did go to bed, she was awake, or I woke her up, don't know which, we said our good nights, and back to La La land she went. 

In my support group, the men have talked about their wives sleeping up to 18 hours a day, near the end of their journey. I still think there are a number of stages that Sweetie hasn't been in yet, and again, Dementia is a very confusing disease, for it never acts the same way in every person. We just have to keep on a daily watch, while trying to live a life with some meaning to it. 

We have to wear masks when we are walking the mall, and that is something that Sweetie is having a difficult time with. She is always using me as to what she should be doing. It sometimes overwhelms her trying to keep the bandana in place. We also have disposable masks that are better for her in the mall. She will let it slip below her nose, and as if it is OK, and of course it is. I'm counting the days until we won't be able to walk the mall, because she is happy to go in, and almost as soon as we're walking, she wants to get out and home. This too is another stage of Dementia where the fear of outside, or away from the home is a frightening experience for them. 

As of now, there is just one voice that I listen to, and that is the voice of my Driver. He is the one that is helping me care for Sweetie in the loving and caring way that I do. You see, I am a very selfish man, I could never have taken on this role as caregiver to Sweetie as I have. It comes from somewhere outside of me, and over the years, I know now where that comes from. Its the daily drives that we have. I get refreshed, encouraged, and get the knowledge to know that love is the greatest of all. Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest is Love. To show this love, a non returnable love, a non demanding love, was something that I never knew how to give. If there is one gift Driver has given me, it is to show and pour this love all over Sweetie and the only way to get more of this love is to give it all away. So, now it is time for me to head out and get into the car, cool sunglasses on, and Driver smiling. We're off, down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. If your a solo driver, maybe you can tune your radio in to the Driver's station, and catch some love for yourself. As you travel down the Road to Dementia Town, Keeping your Shiny Side Up. TTFN, Love Ya and God Bless.