She is just as weary.

T  

The Love of my life, my Sweetie.

May, a new month, the 5th month of the year, and I ponder just how many more Mays are left in our lives together. It sounds so dark, as if I'm hunting her release from this terrible disease, a quick finish to this marathon we are running. Yet, I will miss that which is still here with me. Such a mixed up emotional heart I have. 

Friday

Started out normally, our routine is working well. I still worry about her sleeping and getting up in the morning. She even smiled at me as she needed that extra few seconds to balance herself. 

One of the little quarks is she has to have her shoes on. So, if she isn't wearing them, I hid them, out of sight, out of mind. It makes it so much easier for me to change her pants. Without that extra step of removing her shoes. 

Something that I've noticed for sometime is that she is loosing color on her face. Not sure what is causing it, but it is something of a physical change that she is going through. 

We have added a new element to our day, Sweetie's nap. It is something that cannot be discounted and so it is noted. Energy levels are dipping as the days grow longer, and Dementia grows stronger. 

We had a good day accept for dinner, she didn't seem that hungry, or did I put too much food on her plate. I'll go with too much food. Our eating schedule doesn't change that much, accept dinner is getting later in the day. 

I'm laying off the starches for a little while. Love my mash potatoes, but I have a theory that maybe too much starch doesn't help her constipation. So, I've replaced them with more veggies, corn, peas, mixed and with fresh veggies, like squash. Because I know my Sweetie, if there is something that is off, I can, usually, figure it out and a plate full of veggies just may have been the spark to set off the walking away behavior. 

Another progression is that Sweetie is content to sit in a room, and just sit and stare off to nothingness. That is the one that scares me the most. Like she is just waiting for someone to take her home. I bet she is just as weary of this road trip as I am. 

That's OK, because I know Driver is still at the wheel, navigating the detours, the bumps and swerves along the way. There are days when I want to take the wheel and drive for awhile, I'm a good driver, but I know better. His strong hand and still voice gives me hope each and everyday. As we drive this Road to Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.