To that which was.

Spring time.

As we end April and head into May, spring time is upon us. Here in New Mexico, we are having the last throws of winter. There is fresh snow on the Sandia's and we are expecting another storm this weekend. So, I picked the little Daffodils this morning. Something new, different, and one of my favorite spring flower.

I struggle with the passage of time, and the progression of Sweetie's Dementia. 

Awhile back, a long while back, I was in line to get gas at a Costco, when I spied a man, rumpled, snot running down from his nose, having a hard time getting gas in his car. To say that he wasn't a very appealing figure is to say the least. When out of the car came a rather handsome woman, who came to his rescue. My thoughts at that time were, to now my shagrin, how a woman could be so kind to him. 

I have come to regret those thoughts in my present condition. For love is the great masker, maker, and softener of who or what shape are loved ones are in. 

As I look back at the pictures that I post of my Sweetie, on how beautiful she was, and to who she is today, I can still look into those wonderfully beautiful blue eyes, and tell her how much I love her, even when there is a drool running down her chin, or snot dripping from her nose, to see who she was, transforming her in my mind to that which was and will never be again. 

Thursday

She was awake when I came into the room, and she greeted me with that wonderful smile of hers. I knew we had a chance of having a good day. 

Lately, she has been difficult to get up, even when she tries to help, it is a painful event for her. So, I'm as gentle as I can be, and as quickly as I can to get her out of bed. I know I've mentioned this before, and I wonder how much more she will be able to get out of bed without these difficulties. 

Since that one morning of her being dry, it has gone back to the other, a very wet pullup, and she has wet through them. So, we are now forming a habit of showering and washing her bottom. I think it is paying off, this wet morning routine. We are having better days since we started washing her privates. 

I have to say we had an outstanding day. Golf, mall crawl, and even working in the yards. Because of the rain, did some weeding. Sweetie actually pull a couple herself. I enjoyed the time outside with her. Not unlike the golf or mall, just to have her with me, sitting on a stool, wearing a glove on her good hand, as her attempt to help with the weed pulling. It didn't matter what she did, I just encouraged her and told her what a great helper she is. I get rewarded with her smile. 

Driver is looking for the sunglasses to help see what is coming down at us. We're driving into the sun, its bright and low on the horizon. Not to worry, He knows what He is doing. So, I relax, hug Sweetie, as we head into the sun, heading towards Dementia Town, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.