Before CBD.

Happiest Place in the World

While she still could get out. Even now, if I was to plan such a trip, I'd be fearful of what would happen. So far, she will keep her seat belt on, and then again, every now and then, she will attempt to take it off while we are going some where. If she won't wear a seatbelt, our travels will be short, and maybe won't happen anymore. 

I'm in a funk this morning. Yesterday, Sweetie slept most of the day away. I was able to get her up for some breakfast, and after I got her to brush her teeth, she went back to bed and stayed there. 

I spent the day watching TV, waiting for her to come down so we could do something, anything, walk, go somewhere, but she stayed in bed. 

I think it was that long walk two days ago. I don't think she has recovered from it. I was able to get her up for a car ride, then dinner. When she was done, something grabbed her, as if she was reacting to her body, got up, and went to the back bedroom, crawled into bed, and as I'm writing, she is still there. 

I slept alone upstairs, fearful of her waking up, and getting out without me knowing it. I locked all the exit doors, set the door alarms, and went to bed. I had tried to get her to come with me. She wouldn't move out of the bed. So, instead of causing an uproar, I let her alone. So far, so good. 

Does this mean, she is moving closer to stage 7? I think so. I've also been pondering the question, does my giving her CBD, is it slowing down the progression of her Dementia? That is one of the things that we had discussed while she was still lucent, and had agreed not to do. To let the disease progress naturally. 

Two years ago, before CBD, we suffered terribly with Mr. Sundowner. I started using OCT sedative, basically sleeping aids. They helped, but not all the time. It was shortly after that I read about CBD and was willing to try anything to smooth out those terrible Mr. Sundowner evening times. 

After getting and trying it out. The results were amazing. We could sit and watch TV, go for walks, do things that didn't take the yelling and screaming by her to get done. Toileting, showering, changing, all of that was done in relative peace. Even the smiles and the "I love You." came more naturally. 

Within the past couple of weeks, a change has come over her. She is getting more unpredictable. More agitated, and now sleeping more. My hope is that we can have this last Thanksgiving and Christmas in some ease. For I fear what is to come next year. That she will sink into that morass called Dementia, and not be able to come back at all. I know it is a reality and I need to prepare myself for it. 

The future isn't mine to see, just an educated guess. Driver knows my fears and sorrow that is ahead of us, as we travel this Road to Dementia Town, rounding the bend, and into the sunrise. Where we are Keeping our Shiny Sides Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.