The seesaw of life.

Hi, Sweetie.

Can you believe it, it will soon be a year that I've been posting. Tomorrow is Sweetie's birthday, she will be 76. I've been telling her that her birthday is coming, and she just doesn't seem to know the significant meaning of it. It is just a day, of getting up, and doing that which will make the day go by. Sun up to sunset.  

I was talking with a friend, and we talked about how to get one of the daughters to help. Hire her. Offer her a job as caregiver. I know she is out of work, and some extra money would come in handy. I glommed onto that idea, and sent her an email with that proposition. 

We are going to have company tomorrow for Sweetie's birthday. The youngest is coming over. She gets off work at 3:30 and will come straight over after work. It will be nice to have someone from the family over. I don't know what we'll have for dinner yet, but I did get some extra cake and bought a #6 candle. I still have the "7" from last year, so she will have 76 on the cake. 

I've told you that I feel that this will be Sweetie's last year with us. She keeps fading, and I don't know if I should be happy or sad, I think both. For her and me. The freedom and the loss. This is the seesaw of life. I'd love to see her oldest daughter become more involved with the rest of her life, but then again, I'm not the one in control. Oh well. 

Yesterday, we went to both of the malls for our walk. We went to the one across town first, and on the first outing, Sweetie did one of her collapsing action. I felt her hand, and then she had the "look", and down she went. I knew she would be OK, and had to refuse help from a kind lady that offered to help. She quickly recovered and we headed home. Soon after that we headed out again, to the familiar mall, did our two laps, and left. This time we took a long drive home. 

I did get her up at what a time that was much earlier then what she wanted, the regulations of mornings are on. I tell you what, I'll be glad when the weather gets warmer. We can walk the neighborhood in the morning, or head out to the zoo, many other outlets become available. I know Sweetie still has many days of living to do, and I just want them to be as enjoyable as possible for her. 

I read Jesus Calling every morning, and I found my Driver this morning in the reading. "A life lived close to Me will never be dull or predictable." I tell you that is how I feel everyday. I don't know what to expect when I wake Sweetie, and what maybe dull, can all of a sudden be exciting. When I see that we are heading into a valley, I know it will be a time of refreshing, for in the valley, there is shade, groves, and beauty. I love my Sweetie, and hold her close to me, as we travel down the Road to Dementia Town, holding her tightly, with our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv ya, and God Bless.