Lingering

Smile

Can I be frank for a moment? When we retired, and it was suggested that we use daycare as a way of giving me time to myself and some relief. I was willing to give it a try. At first it was a getting to know each other and when I was told that those who come to daycare, seem to add 2 or 3 more years of their lives because of the activity. 

At that time, I was the only caregiver Sweetie knew. When I was told of this  "wonderful news", I muttered under my breath, "Swell, just what I want to hear." And they say it with a smile on their faces. 

Like anyone that isn't living the 24/7 saga of Dementia, doesn't understand the challenges that it puts forth. The dred of the daily care and feeding of a spouse, a son or daughter, grandparent that we go through. It isn't that I am mean, it just means I want a release from those responsibilities that wake up with me and go to bed with me, resting to do the same thing over again. 

Tuesday 

As we progress into another layer of Dementia, Sweetie is up early again, and when I notice her moving, I go to get her. 

She is either trying to make or strip the bed, I don't know which. When I reach out to her, I feel that she is soaked. Believe me I was happy about that. It is a sign that she is getting hydrated. Gotta find the Easter Egg here. 

Off to the bathroom, strip, and showered and it clean clothes. Out to the living room for breakfast we go. 

As she is watching Winne the Pooh, I'm making her breakfast. Bran Flakes, insure and prune juice. Pour the insure on her cereal, then mix what is left over with some prune juice. She seems to like the concoction, and I like the results. I know when she is done, for she will just get up and head back to bed and sleep. 

I let her sleep until it is time to head out to the golf course. Here is where her slide becomes apparent. 

Two years ago, we used to walk the course, then she started fainting on the last part of the course. Then we progressed to the golf cart. When we did that, Sweetie would join me on the tees and walk to the greens. It was good for us. Now, it looks like I will be parking the cart in a place where she can watch me. 

Yesterday, she didn't make it through the 8th hole. She was leaning and holding on to me, as I headed to the car. 

Whether it was the heat, or lack of sleep, it didn't matter because she fainted as I was helping her walk to the car. After waiting until she recovered enough to get in the car, we got in, and off we went. Home, in bed, and waited for her to recharge.

Yesterday was also the day for the hospice doctor to make a house call. Because Sweetie was sleeping, it turned into an interview between him and me. 

I expressed something that he agreed with. A term that, for me, expresses the place we are now in. It is "lingering." To me, it fully embraces this time in our lives. The uncertainties of tomorrow, and the reality of today. 

I think the events of the day put me in a low emotional point, and I'm not recovered from it. For I know there are days ahead, Easter Eggs to find, and the comfort of being in the backseat with Sweetie holding my hand, Driver in the Front seat, still in control, still safely navigating the Road to Dementia Town, as we see and waive to others, for we are keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.