Encourage those who are where I was.

She is my winner.

After cleaning up the vomit, the pillow, and Sweetie, I sit in front of my computer, playing Spades. Just sitting there, waiting for tired to wash over me, so I can go to bed and sleep. 

I am still amazed at myself after what just happened. Not to be revolted by the scene, and to have sympathy for Sweetie is something that isn't normal for me. 

The softening of my heart to just find the solution, and do it. Sweetie is at the point where she just doesn't know what she does and goes on with her life. 

While I was in my support group meeting, I was listening to the men in the group talk about how long they have been taking care of their wives. 6, 8, 10 years or more. How, for some it was a gradual decline, others a sudden onset of Alzheimer's, and it seems that it will be over soon, when they slow down, and the waiting game begins. It is in these meetings that I get my heart training. The assurance that I am not alone in this waiting game, and even when I need not wait anymore, I will still come to the meeting to encourage those who are where I was. 

Friday

The sitter is going to be here shortly. Sweetie is awake, and I want to put her on the potty. To keep up the routine of her potty training. Trying to stay calm as to not upset Sweetie, so she can relax and let her body work. 

As she is working on being successful, I hear the door bell, leaving her, I let in the sitter, tell her what we are doing and get back to Sweetie. 

She has succeeded in her mission, now into the shower she goes. This is hard for me, trying to hurry up by not seemingly to be hurrying up. 

Got her to the table, and the sitter took over from there. Looking at the clock, I quickly move to get ready and out the door I go. 

At the restaurant, our group gathers. It is a small group this morning, and we have a new man in our presence. His wife has vascular dementia, and has reached out to us. He asks questions, and we give our experiences of what we went through. At the same time, letting him know that "This too will pass."

With the meeting over, I head to the golf course. Today is my monthly lesson day. If there isn't anything else, I can work on my swing. I can take my mind off that which weighs it down, and work on something else. 

After the lesson, head out to play a round. Meet up with a couple that I've play with many a times. They ask about Sweetie, and we have a pleasant conversation as we play and it is nice to be among friends. 

When I get home, Sweetie is in her nest, and has stayed there all morning after I left. I was told that she didn't eat her lunch and just didn't want to do anything while I was gone. 

I could tell that she missed me by the way she smiled at me when I came into the room. Once she knew that I was home, it took her some time before she came out of her nest. We sat watched TV, had dinner, and then went to our meeting. 

She did pretty good, except for the fact that she kept heading for the door when I wasn't paying attention to where she was. 

She seemed fine all through the meeting, when she turned to me, said something, and seemed to fall asleep. It was that old fear in the pit of my stomach, what is happening to her now. She had her head down, and then started what seemed to be stretching, twisting motions, and for a few minutes, went limp. 

When she was able, I got her up and out to the car with the help of some of the women. On the way over, she was leaning on me, and her breathing was labored. She was getting ready to vomit, and I had to get her home quickly. 

Once home, getting her in bed, it happened. On her pillow, and down to the wet sheet. No time to do anything but to get her up to the bathroom, so if she had more to vomit, at least it would be easy to clean up. 

We got lucky, the next throw up, she was in just the right position to have it land in the toilet. Gotta find the good in the bad, and that was it. She had vomit on her shirt, on her pants, and face. Time for action, not complaining. Off comes the shirt, down with the pants, and yep, she soiled her paints, too. 

She is just sitting there on the potty, not moving, energy gone. So, it was easy to undress and dress her. Dressed for bed, cleaned as much as I can get her, back to bed she goes. Like a rag doll, she lays down, and is out. 

My job is to clean, rinse out her clothes and pillow case and get them ready for the wash. I'm too upset and worried about her to go to bed. So, it is clean the kitchen, do the dishes, and then to sit and play games on the computer. Boring, dumb games until the stress is gone. 

What started out as a mild stressful morning turned into a stormy night. So glad Driver didn't lose His cool. He was able to keep it all under control, which allowed me to keep my cool and calm in the storm. For it is these stormy night on the Road to Dementia Town that can raise the hair on the back of my neck. Then the thought of how easy it was to Keep Our Shiny Side Up earlier, was a calming thought through all of this. So, until tomorrow, C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur