Acceptance

My Sweet Love.

 77 and going strong. She is the reason for me to keep going another day. Sure there are times that I would love to have her the way I am. Without her Dementia, anyone would. That is not where we are, where we are is where we were meant to be. 

Last night, I got top pick the subject for our discussion. Here is what came to mind: "And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake... Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy."

It was just what I needed to hear at that time. I'd heard this words almost 8 years ago, and they struck me like a hammer, and they still do. Sweetie's Dementia is accepting life on life's terms. It isn't a death march for both of us. I used to think that way, because I was thinking of only me and what I would be missing out on by taking care of her. 

As it has turned out, I've been able to change how I view my life, as to this is the way it was always going to be, and just what am I missing out on? We still come and go as we please, I still get to play golf, we eat good, drive a car most people would die for, and our bills are paid, and we have money in the bank. So, what is missing? Life is good. 

Friday

I get some time off today. It is my support group morning, and I have our caregiver coming. I want to get her up and at the breakfast table before she gets here. 

Sweetie is coopertive this morning, not to much of a fuss getting her out of bed and into the bathroom. 

Our caregiver arrived, and with a few words of gratitude, turn Sweetie over to her care, I'm off. 

It may sound strange, but off to a restaurant, to a meal that I'm not cooking or serving myself. This is a treat I look forward to. This morning it is Biscuits and gravy, eggs and with a side of bacon. If you can believe it, I'm already thinking of what I'm going to order next month. This is how special this day it for me. 

We have a new man just joining our group. He has been taking care of his wife for a couple of years now, and it is getting harder for him to care for her. I know that feeling, and we all have had our starts here. As we go around the room and share, I see him taking notes, and I think I know what is going through his mind, and yes, again we have all been there. 

After the meeting, I head to the course, and a lesson. This time it was on my chipping. To tell the truth, I know it is more of me taking time to pratice. I know the basics, and it is just honing them. Because of me taking Sweetie with me, I don't have the time to pratice like I should. 

It is cold and windy, so after the lesson, I head home. 

We have to make a trip to the grocery store, that is what we do. While we are at the store, I pick up a birthday cake with the idea of having some kind of celebration with her for her birthday. 

Idea of taking it to our meeting tonight, and sharing it with those who show up. 

Good idea, getting it done is something else. Sweetie heads for her nest as soon as we get home, meaning, she will be a bear to get up and out of the house for the meeting. She doesn't disappoint me. 

After much proding, begging, and sheer determination we are in the car and off to the meeting. 

As it turns out, there is a good number of people there, and the party part is just right. Sweetie could tell that she was the center of attention, and loved it. Of course, she didn't blow out her candles, I had to help. The cake was the right size, everyone there got a piece and there wasn't any left over. 

After the meeting, we went home to bed and a good night sleep. 

What a day on the Road to Dementia Town it was. So much sun light, so much enjoyment as the miles seemed to roll by. Holding hands when the curves came, all the while Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.