Through my tears.

My love and me.

Sunday was a good day. I got busy and did some stuff that needed to be done, and somethings that have been nagging at me to do. 

Sunday

After my zoom meeting, instead of waiting until I "felt like doing it", I got up and started doing my morning with Sweetie. 

Take the blanket off of her, take the pillows out from under her, check her to see if she is wet or dirty. She was neither, so it makes for a easier morning. She was so clean, that I didn't want to fight her to get the old off, and put a new one on, so I didn't. 

Rolled her on her side, stuffed a pillow in so she would lean to the other side. Made sure her feet were off the bed, and covered her back up. 

All of the moving her, woke her up so I could see she was watching me. With a warm wash cloth, got the sleep out of her eyes, washed her face, and then shaved those whisker of hers. When I was done, she was awake and beautiful as ever. 

Taking advantage of her being conscious, quickly got her some orange slices and applesauce. One thing I've learned is the to make sure she drinks the juice. It is mostly water and sugar with a hint of orange in it. She isn't drinking water, so I make sure she gets what I can into her. 

Soon, too soon, she is back behind the curtain again. That is my turn for breakfast. This morning, I'm making biscuits, spam hash and eggs. Haven't had that since Sweetie's collapse. Because it was for me alone, in went the hot sauce. My taste buds were in fiery heaven as I enjoyed my meal. 

Stripped my bed, and removed the extra covers under her side of the bed, did the laundry and realized I needed to get to the store and buy some more detergent. 

It was then, when I was getting ready to get into the shower, I noticed them, my feet. They were in sad shape, white skin, toe nails needed trimming, and I made up my mind, to the nail store I go. 

It was strange, the first time without Sweetie in over 3 years. When I retired, she talked me into getting our nails done together. That is when I found out that I wasn't the only man getting his feet taken care of. 

As the young lady was working on my feet, she was making conversation, when it hit me. All the memories of when she was with me, and I couldn't stop the welling up and the tears started. 

After all of that, and when I was leaving, I chose a young lady, getting a basic pedicure and told my lady that I was going to pay for her pedi, and please tell her after I leave. I want to do this in Sweetie's name, because she isn't here with me, I want to do this in her name. 

Of course that didn't happen, and when she sat down, they told her what I was doing and of course she asked why. 

Through my tears I said "My wife is dying, and it is in her name I was doing it." She came over and gave me a big hug, and thanked me. 

Later in the evening, I went to another meeting, not wanting to be alone. At the meeting a lady who used to work hospice, gave me her number, said to call her if I wanted time off. I think this one will work. 

How strange it is, now that we have made it to Dementia Town. Now what? I know Sweetie's name is on the Mayor's appointment list. We know that, what we don't know is when we will be called. Right now it doesn't matter, I still have her with me. I will live with all these memories around me. Like a never ending movie, we watch and wait our turn. So for now, our Shiny Side is Still Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.