She will be gone.

She can still smile.

As it is my habit, I reread yesterdays post, and found myself a little bit embarrassed. I spoke of things that may have been insulting to some of my readers, and even to my daughters. 

Then again, I think at my age, it is OK to speak of the time when Sweetie goes home for her family reunion. For there will be life after Sweetie. 

I knew a lady, that had lost her husband years ago, and she was still in mourning. Everyday, she would say the same thing, like a broken record, stuck and hopping back to play again and again. 

In these past years, as I've cared for Sweetie, I have been saying my good byes. I've been preparing my heart for that stab, that hurt, that finial letting go, so I can continue my life. 

I know that if I do meet someone else, she will never take Sweetie's place in my heart and head. 

As you know, I love to use movies as a easy way to express myself. The movie "Ghost" comes to mind, when Sam has done all that is needed to leave and go, the love that is shared, tore me up. I feel that when Sweetie makes her grand exit, my heart will break, and the water works will open up. She will be gone, I will be left, and life goes on.  

Saturday

Just another day in the life of the marble rolling around trying to find something to do, and not doing that which is right in front of me. 

It is time to do our morning routine, time to take care of Sweetie. Time to re-arrange the pillows, time to change her, empty her bag, wash her face, and to talk to her. 

The pain levels seem to be going down, and it is easier for me to work on her. Today, after all the jostling about, I see her smile at me, and I can see it is her, her eyes are bright and awake. She speaks to me, her voice is weak and I can barely hear her, but she is with me. 

Taking the opportunity, I sit with her, and give her some peaches, juice and applesauce. We smile that smile of understanding and love. Soon, way too soon, she starts to close her eyes, and her mouth doesn't open. She is back behind the curtain again, until tomorrow morning. 

It is a beautiful morning here in Dementia Town. The report is for sunshine, cool days, and time to do some sight seeing while we wait to be called to the town hall. Drive is with us, even more closely than before. We know He is there, with us, and at the same time, we don't find it intrusive, for after all, He is the one that has gotten us this far, safety. And when the time is right, He will be taking me home. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.