A life well lived.

A life well lived.

Day 28 since Sweetie went to be with her Lord. Yet, it seems like she is still here. Those last days, when she was in the living room, seems to have made a impression on me. I still see her out of the edge of my sight. As if she is coming into the room, and wanting to sit with me. Then I turn and she is gone. A haunting memory of the one that I loved so deeply. I pray that I keep that vision until I see her again. 

Wednesday

This is going to very short. This was the first day in a very long time that I did not have to do anything. Nothing, and so I did just that, nothing. 

The house is a mess, there are bird feathers and stuff that need to be vacuumed, and when I came home last night, I just dumped my stuff and it is where I left it. 

Grandson made a apple something, and that is what I had for breakfast. Going to eat that which is left in the refrigerator first. The milk is way passed over its date, so that is going in the sink. 

About the only things that I did was call Social Security to find out about survivor benefits, and I'm glad I did that. They owe me her last months check. Applied for the huge dollar payout, and have an appointment to apply for that last benefit. 

Started in watching "Lord of the Rings", a 3 hour extended version. Went to a meeting, talked to my youngest when she called, Watched some TV, had a salad for dinner, and to bed I went. 

There is a fork in the Road Home, and Driver is pondering which way to go. For me, I hope He takes the one where I can still see the lights from Dementia Town once in awhile. Just now and then, because I know that is where she is, and I will need those lights to guide me back to her, when the time is right. In the mean time, It is me and Driver, on the Road to  Life, Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.    

 

Down a New Road.

Dawn of a new life.

I'm home, got in last night around 8:30 and just laid around, not wanting to go right to bed, so I just relaxed. Played on my computer, and then headed for bed. 

As I laid there, reviewing the past days in California, I realized that even with the added expense while we were on this trip, it was a good trip. 

The drive to Cali, and the time with my daughters turned out to be one of the best healing times we had. Being footloose and fancy free. I was able to relax and enjoy the time. 

With the simple fact of living with son, we didn't have a choice as to if we'd talk, or when, it would happen. As I've said before, son is a vocalizing machine. I think the only time he isn't exercising his vocal cords is when he is asleep. 

We've had resolved many resentments over the passed years, especially when Sweetie was getting down the Road to Dementia Town. It seems that was a catalyst to get and forgive things. Then, with that fact of living together for the next 5 days only added to the healing time.

Monday

With the car in the shop, there is a need to get daughter/husband a rental car. It was one of those list of things to do. After we got the them a rental car, it was off to Knott's Berry Farm. It was on my list of memories one more time. 

This time I was able to close the door on a old memory, and open a new door on a new memory. This time, because of my new son in law, we had lunch at the farm. It was in Knott's Chicken Restaurant. Me and Sweetie usually had a funnel cake, and milk, then we crossed the road and worked our way back to the car. 

After lunch we walked only one side of the shops and then headed for our cars. 

It never rains in California, unless your a tourist and have outside things to do. Which son did. Headed back to Huntington Beach to do some shopping. 

It rained lightly as we walked the streets of Huntington Beach, in and out of shops until he found what he wanted, and I got a travel mug, wasn't going to be out done. 

After our shopping was done, what next? How about a movies. Looked up and headed out to see "Lost City". A romantic comedy. Just what I needed. A good comic relief was in good order. 

After the movie, off to the oldest daughter's for dinner. 

She made tacos for us. She had asked what I'd wanted. Tacos! I haven't had home made tacos in so long. The hot oil, the soaking tortilla, folding them into somewhat of a half taco, meat, lettuces, tomatoes, cheese, hot sauce. Refried beans, Spanish rice. What a feast!!

Time with daughter's family and the granddaughters, was something to behold and enjoyed. Then it was too soon for us to head home. 

On the way home, son and I talked about smoking a cigar. Google is wonderful, in a matter of seconds, found a cigar shop, and headed to it. 

When we got home, there is a nice patio in front of our place, and that is where we smoked our cigars. 

As the smoke worked its magic, son and I were talking about stuff that has been buried for sometime. Stuff that you forget about, and at the right time, it comes out. We talked, smoked, and talked some more. 

At the end of the smoking, we hung our clothes outside to air out. Didn't want to bring the odor into the place. 

Friday

After we got up, the conversation was, "I'm  ready to go home, how about you?" and of course the answer was, "Yes." 

Quickly packing up, I realized I left my phone at daughter's place. Son made the calls, and we got over there and got my phone. 

On the road, worked our way through morning rush hour traffic, and on to the open road, and home.

As we left Dementia Town, there was a time when the sunset was in my mirrors, and it seemed a fitting site for me. For after all, we had been traveling there for a long time. The journey is over, the need to say "Goodbye" has been accomplished, and I can start again. Down a New Road, where I'll Keep My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.  

 

Getting out of Dementia Town.

 One last look.

We have said our goodbyes, I have waked the pier and beach, spent time at Knott's Berry Farm, bought my Boysenberry jam, visited with my daughters, and now it is time to go home. 

This is going to be a short post. Son and I have made a impromptu decision to leave a day earlier then planned, which means, I don't have the time to tell you of all the wonderful Easter Eggs that were found. 

Most were in plain site, some took later to see and find. There were many. Everything from renting a car for the daughter, to having our car fixed in one day, paying for it and letting the daughter pick it up, getting me out of the picture.

To going to Knott's, in the rain, to remember one more time the joy Sweetie and I had, to making a new memory while being with son and daughter, and having a chicken dinner at Knott's. That is something Sweetie and I didn't do. 

I promise that I will get a re-cap tomorrow. 

We are packing, and Driver is taking inventory, as we pack. One last peek and we are getting out of Dementia Town and heading home. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur. 

Saying Good Bye for now.

Saying Good Bye, for now.

 

I'm listening to ambient noise, waves. Which at this time seems so appropriate for what is on my mine. This is my oldest daughter and me, letting some of Sweetie go. It was so right to do this. She loved the beach and if we could, we would of stayed there, that is for another day. 

It was just wonderful that we had such good weather, and a good gathering of relatives. Her cousin from Oregon was a delight. We shared memories, stories of how she and Sweetie meet, and the how they became great friends, through thick and thin, through marriages. and life at its best. 

Sunday

Just what is going to happen this morning? The car made it back to the motel where daughter and hubby were staying, now what? The only thing we could do is make up our mind on what to do. That was a fun event. 

I wanted to tow the car, get it to a shop and worked on ASAP. Now, there is something that is part of the mix, son. He just has to have his way, and he said, "Lets see if we can get down to the beach." Being the fact that, to me, it didn't sound like a good idea, but Mr. Power felt it was the best thing to do at the time. 

As it turned out, it wasn't the best idea, and it broke down halfway to the beach. Luckily, they were able to pull into a garage parking lot. Of course they were closed, because it was Sunday, but at least, I can find out of they can get work done. That will be my first order of business this morning, and then to get a rental for them to drive home, if the car isn't fixed before they leave. This is the will be the best we can ask for.

With Uber called, and daughter and husband taken care of, we head toward the beach. As we get there, one of the brothers is already there and we have a cabana to sit under. Get the fire going, and soon hamburgers are on the grill, and people are arriving. Old friends and familiar faces. Hugs and handshakes, and the stories soon start. I'm bouncing for group to group, until we are here. 

 Pulling the chairs close, I thank everyone for being here, and start my love story about Sweetie and Me. Sing to them our song, and tell the story on how we met, and the time it took for us to wait until we could be together for a life time.  

After we had told stories and memories, I passed out the tubes of ashes to those I knew would be here. Then I excused myself, and hand in hand with my grand daughters, my daughters and her husband, we headed for the surf.

Afterwards, one of the brothers said he wanted to take me out to dinner. We ended up in a neighborhood Mexican food bar and grill. Had a great time, until I wanted to head home. It wasn't until I was in the parking lot, that son remembered, "Hey, that's my ride." And out they came. 

With kind words, we say our farewells, and home we go. 

It was a rough start this day in Dementia town. The day had two good possibilities of something good or bad happening. With Driver standing close to me, I let him choose which way it was to go. As it turned out, the best way was to let Him lead. Once we were passed that road hazard, the fun of life began. We will soon be leaving Dementia Town, for we still have a couple of stops to make before we leave to head home. And as usual, I will be keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.            

 

The Day Before.

 My youngest, spent the day together.

Getting more sleep these days. That should be a good sign, and yet it is the ever-changing story of what is happening to me. Is that a good thing? Only time will tell. 

Confusion and mis information seems to run the day. 

It is morning and I'm trying not to make too much noise, for son is a lite sleeper and will wake at the sound of a pin dropping. I'm trying to be quiet and not make noise, so as to let him sleep.

We have different plans ahead of us. As for me, I'm spending the day with my youngest daughter. There is some uneasiness about that idea. We have drawn close these past years. We have IMed each other and have talked a lot. Spending the day together is so much different than 3 to 5 minutes on the computer. If there is any falsehood in our relation, it is going to come out this day. 

Because I don't remember things, there again was a mix

up on my part. I had to drop off son at daughters. They were heading out for a day of sightseeing, and then to pick up my daughter. Well, the times did not mix well. We got son to his destination, and that was fine. 

Headed over to daughter's I'm too early.  SWELL, now I have to find something to fill the void. Walk about at a mall will solve that, and then to find the mall not opened yet, SWELL. How about a nap in the shade? Works for me.  

Saturday

Now that the preamble of the day is done, let me tell you about the bestest day. Daughter was ready and excited about doing the day. We took the top off Tweety, and headed for the Laguna Sawdust Festival. Down the road we roared. She is being the navigator, and me the pilot. Had a couple of slips, but everything went find until we got to the canyon entrance. There was some construction, so traffic was backed up. Couldn't race Tweety against the canyon course. 

OK, so we get to the Festival, and she wanted us to get toe rings, together. Big disappointment, no toe rings this year. So we walk about, and found that it was a lot smaller then the last time I was there. In less then a hour we saw all there was to see, and being normal humans, when there is nothing left to see, we find somewhere to eat.  

Time wasn't our friend at this time. We checked out a couple of eateries, and they didn't fit the bill. Back to Tweety to head up PCH, and seek out a place to eat. 

While on PCH, saw some very exotic cars, the Mercadies, Porches, and the like. Tweety fit right in with them. Saw what looked like a racing Corvette, couldn't stop, so we just kept going. 

Daughter wanted Sea food, and oysters. Spied a place on the side of the road, in a fancy area, and pulled in. It was one of those 4-star restaurants, you know the kind, the bigger the plate, the smaller the food, the higher the price? Out side of that we had a wonderful time. After a dozen oysters, a Ahi burger, and the likes, and about an hour later, we head out to get our nails done. 

What a way to finish my day with her. 

It isn't over yet. Still being early, I needed something to do. Called Sweetie's brother, and to see what they were up to. They didn't have anything to do, so "How about dinner?" Great idea. Wahoo's? Wonderful. We meet up on Main St, and have a wonderful time catching up. After dinner we head over to my place to sit relax and just talk. 

Here is where the fly lands on the ointment, the car  I loaned to other daughter is having mechanical problems. Won't let the bad news bring us down. Son arrives and we talk, and talk, and try to figure out the best plan to put into action to resolve the problem. 

With that accomplished, head for bed.

Dementia Town has it good places, and some not so good. Today was a banner day, and Driver was with us strongly. Not going to let stuff bring us down. That is why I will Keep My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur. 

Cherry on top of the day.

At the beach one more time.

And a good morning to you all. It seems that my old laptop is now ready to work. I just hope I can get used to it. 

We, son and me, are in Huntington Beach and things are going well. The problem with this computer, the not being able to post yesterday, and with just the simple fact of what we are here to do. 

I overslept Friday morning, that in itself was enough to warrant alarm bells to go off. Anyway, up and at them. Had to get packed, brushed my teeth, pack, (which for me is clean underwear and a toothbrush). 

When I went out to open the garage door, there he was, just getting ready to call me to let me know he was here. Timing was, for that moment, good. Packed Tweety, swapped parking places and off we went. 

Son is a jabber jawed individual. It is hard for him to not talk. He has a quick mind, and because it is just us, I am the target of his monologue. We get our phones hooked up with Tweety's entertainment program, and we have music and some of his pod cast to listen to. 

The biggest surprise to us, is the gas milage Tweety is getting. Over 25mpgs. Took us just over 11 hours to make the trip. We might have been here sooner, but then again, it was fine. On the freeway, there was an accident which slowed things down. We well more than likely make the trip home in less time. 

Found our home away from home, unpacked, and headed for beach. To walk the pier and get something to eat. All in all, it was a good day. 

I'm going to pick up my youngest is a few hours. She is looking forward to spending time with me. We are going to the Laguna Beach Sawdust Festival. Then up to the beach, walk the pier with her, another memory remembered and created. Just spend the day with her. 

Last night was a time of remembrance. After we walked the pier, we went to get something to eat. Because of Covid, there is a lot more outside dining. The restaurant we choose had a young girl sing on the street. She was very good, and during her break, I asked her to if she knew John Legend's "All of me."? She did, and I asked her to sing it. It is such a perfect song about my Sweetie, and where we were, what we were doing, it was the cherry on the top of the day. 

It is Saturday morning, and I'm rested, and feeling good. The new arch supports are working very well, and I'm looking forward to the day. Driver is waiting for me, and what we have planned. Dementia Town is so vast, that it encompasses a part of the coast. I did not know that. With the sea breeze, and salty air, with Sweetie alive in my heart, we will once more spend the day together. Shiny Side Up, for sure. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur. 

 

A new adventure.

My Sweetie Pie loves flowers.

As I'm sitting here, the thought came to me, that I'm now starting a new life. I've been through the riggers of growing up, getting married, having children of my own. Having survived the death of my friend, lover and wife. I start out on the road to a new normal life. A life that, by all rights, should be the life that I've been waiting for. 

As in the movie "Lord of the Rings, The return of the King." Bilbo is at the boat, and he says that "I'm ready for a new adventure." So am I.

Wednesday 

The snow has already disappeared. It just doesn't last long, and that is just fine with me. 

After my morning start, I'm getting excited about what is about to happen. There are things that I still have to do, and I'm ready to get going. 

There are things that I'm looking forward to. The first is to be alone so I can feel Sweetie again. I know that with my grandson here, I don't get that private time with her. 

Second, I want my house and life back. If that sounds strange, to me it isn't. I've live with Sweetie for the past 4 years, traveling down the Road to Dementia Town, basically on our own. I've grown accustomed to it being just Sweetie and me. Besides, like fish, after 3 days, they begin to stink. 

For the first time since Sweetie's passing, I'm going to open her urn and get some of her ready to travel to Cali. 

I've got the tubes out, and the tablespoon ready. I'm not sure on how much to put in each tube, so it is a guessing game. First, two tablespoons, and then three, and to me, that is enough. 

Then, it is who is going to get one of these tubes of Sweetie? Counting noses, I've got the two brothers, her cousin, her two that are with us, my two, and me. So, that is, what, eight tubes of Sweetie to prepare. 

Need to get some purple wrapping paper, so off I go. First place I head for is the dollar store, and it is empty. Then, why put it off, I head for the Super Store. 

No purple wrapping paper there, but I spy purple napkins. That will work. Needed to get a vacation feeder for the fish, got it too. 

Home, finished up, and put the rest of Sweetie back in her bedroom. 

There is a change between me and my grandson. He is beginning to relax around me. He is also beginning to engage in conversation, and we are taking about life. 

I told him about my life, and how I used the Navy to escape my family. At the time, I didn't think of it that way, it was only after long years away from that point in my life, I could see it. 

We talked about how I saw so much in me in him. That it would take some time for him to see what I was telling him about him using the Navy to flee his family. 

Told him, how both Sweetie and me knew that once he graduated, he was gone, just as I was. 

It was after that, it seemed that the wall he had built up between us, came down a little. Now he is talking about, when he gets out of the Navy, he will come and live with me. I didn't say anything, because that is 2 and a half years away. A lot can change in that amount of time. 

It looks like our time in Dementia Town is drawing to an end. Soon, we will be able to travel down a new road. A road of adventure, a road to a new destination, and a new life. I'm not worried about it, because wherever it leads, I'll be traveling with my Driver and we will be keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur. 

 

 

Looking forward.

Woke up to winter.

The weather report was for snow last night. They, the weather predictors' got it right. Woke up to a snowy yard. Sweetie just love the snow. I remember when we first moved here, and the first winter, the first snow fall. 

I was down stairs, and looked out to see the snow coming down. Sweetie was still in bed, asleep, and I woke her up to see the snow. She was so excited. Living in So Cal, we didn't get snow, so it is a special treat for us. 

When it snows here, usually in the first hours after sunrise, it melts off the streets. Even with a hard snowfall, the snow doesn't hang around much, usually two or three days is about the longest we get to see it. 

These are the memories that will be with me for the rest of my life. 

One other, is a full moon. Many a night, when I was delivering pizza, I would be in a spot to see the moon raising over the mountains and would call Sweetie. She would go into our backyard, and we would watch it together. To see the moon, big and bright, and to hear her voice telling me how wonderful it was, is again, something that will be with me every time I watch the moon raise.

 

Tuesday

It is wet from the early morning rain, which means, there isn't anything to do outside. Bundle up, and get ready for a challenging day of video-games day. 

The house is a mess, and it will more than likely stay this way until Jon leaves to go back to his home port, and I get back from Cali. 

In the mean time, I'll just do a little bit of pick up, and maybe he will get the idea of cleaning up after himself. To be honest, I'm just as guilty as he is, because I'm not cleaning up after myself either. 

Got my tubes for the memorial, and have plans to put some of Sweetie in them. Then wrap them in purple wrapping paper, to be handed out on Saturday. Not knowing who will be there, so I'm making it for those I know. Her kids, the brothers, and my daughters. I'm thinking a table spoon will be enough. For after all, it is a symbolic event, for those who are left living. 

After all the ups and downs to get this done, it will be enough, because that is all there is. 

Soooooo looking to get on the road to get this done. It has almost having the effect of hitting a bees nest, and their are all over the place, buzzing about and stinging me. 

Spent time with my youngest daughter, have planned a wonderful day for us. Away from this madness, and again, soooo looking forward. 

Driver is pleased with me looking forward. Could it be that all this motion, all this upset, all this confusion, is a way for me to move forward with my memories, and begin anew? Is that a twinkle I see in Driver's eye? He doesn't want me to sit in the old memories, He wants me to pick them up, put them on display, and get on with life. Live the sadness of mourning, at the same time, remember that there is a new life awaiting me. I can do both. For after all, didn't we make it here to Dementia Town, with Our Shiny Side Up? You bet we did. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

 

 

Chicago style pizza.

Off the beach of Hawaii.

Yesterday, Monday, not much to talk about. It was a day of just sitting and letting the sun go across the sky. I seems that we are having a calendar winter. 

Normally we have blue skies and windy days. So far we are having cold days, rain and snow. Which makes it the perfect weather to sit in the house and do nothing. 

Yet, then again, when it was Sweetie and me, we would, if nothing else, head to the mall for our walk about. I think I will be doing that today, even if grandson doesn't. 

At least there is a meeting to go to this evening. Just to get out of the house. I thought I was built to be able to spend time alone and enjoy it. I can, but there is only so much of that I can do. 

Monday

Having a hard time getting up at my normal time. Because I don't have Sweetie to care for, and having to go to bed at our early time, I'm staying up later, which means getting up early isn't as easy as it once was. 

This is just one of the many changes that I'm going through. The grandson staying with me is beginning to wear on me. I think it is wearing on him too. 

He found out what I suggested him to do, was going to be what he was told to do by his chief. Fly to his home port, and report in. Stay there until either his ship returns or they find a way to return him to his ship. Makes sense to me. 

We were invited to dinner at the son's home. His wife made deep dish Chicago style pizza and a pear crisp, with home made whip cream. It was a wonderful dinner and at the same time, something we needed. 

The youngest asked if I would take him for a ride in the 'vette. It was just what I needed to get out of the house, and after it was cleared with mom, off we went for about a half hour ride. 

Got back, and then the planning of this weekend go on its way. I'll be so glad when it is just Sweetie and me again. Plans for this day, and for the next, and then the beach and BBQ, and, and, and.... Who would of thunk that a memorial would be this hard to get done. 

With plans in runny ink, we left and head home. 

There I was able to IM my youngest in Cali. We spent time talking, and she told me of some of her medical problems, and we just stayed in that mode and I let her know, that after this trip, if she needs me, I'll be on the way there when we hang up. 

All in all, it was a good day for me and Driver while we waited for our duties to come to completion. We are going over the map to see which might be the best route to take when we leave Dementia Town. Whatever route we take, we will be Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

 

 

Well endowed.

 Thank you Sweetie.

Now starts the business of living a new life. One that came upon me, with my full knowledge, and yet wanting and not wanting it. 

These last years of taking care of Sweetie have taught me a lot. I've learned that I can show compassion, show love, and at the sometime find the strength to carry on. 

Sweetie was, and is, my life line. She is at a place where she is waiting for me. I know this, for I have all the confidence of her faith, in her knowledge of who she put her trust in. 

She was the vessel, and I was the ox pulling the wagon. I gave her all my love, all my attention, all my caring, so that she could enjoy these last days with me. She is and always will be the love of my life. 

Sunday

As we near Easter, the Lutheran Church is into lent, and the rituals of the days before. It has been a long time since I've been in a church that celebrates high holy days, and as  I get accustom to their worship, I find peace. 

The weather is windy and cool, so there isn't much for me to do. No golf, and just staying in. 

When I get home, grandson has ordered lunch from Wendy's so we need not go out. 

In the evening, I head for my Sunday evening meeting. Glad to do something. 

After the meeting, I'm met with hugs and handshakes. Then there is this one lady, this beautiful lady, this well endowed lady, and she gives me a wonderful hug. 

"Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but, I promised myself that I'd find a barber well endowed barber and have her rub herself on me." 

Her eyes went bright, smiled and laughed. 

"You're not a barber." and she laughed some more. 

"Art, I love you." was her response. She knew what I meant, and took it that way. 

"Just what is it?" Driver inquired. 

"It is the living." I said. The living of life that at my age is starting anew. I've been wondering what it would be like. Now, I'm going to find out. As long as I keep breathing in and out, and Keeping My Shiny Side Up, all will be fine. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God bless.   

A sadly wonderful service.

  

My Sweetie Pie

Rest in Peace, 

Well done, my good and faithful friend.

 

I know, I mean I just know that those were the first words she heard when she left my arms and went to the arms of her of Lord. I was so blessed to have her for such a short time. 

 

Saturday

 

I awoke knowing that today was the day I had to be on my toes. For we were going to do something that I've been looking forward to, and at the same time, fearing. 

 

Grandson was up, showering, I was doing my morning thing. At some time the clock seemed to freeze, and then again, I'd look again, and where did the time go? 

 

At the proper time, grandson and me gathered up all that we had planned to take, headed for Tweety, and then off to the church. 

 

Pastor was waiting for us, we went over the mechanics of the worship, and set out our display. Then it was the waiting game. 

 

As the people came it, I was happy to see those that came. My life groups were well represented. From work, church, and AA, both zoom and in persons meeting. 

 

I was most pleased when the "Queen of Dawn Patol" came in. She is just a sweetie, 90+ years, and now she told me she is doing what I did for my Sweetie. Her husband is in God's waiting room, and she is taking care of him. I must call her to keep in touch with her.

 

Before the service, as me and the pastor talked, I said that it will be what it is meant to be. I had in mind just what I wanted to say, and so did the pastor. 

 

The slide show was wonderful. To see what the kids contributed, to see my photos of my Sweetie, the memories were as thick, and I was doing just fine, until this picture came up, near the end, the one at the top of the page, and I lost it. Sitting next to my grandson, he comforted me, and then as the pictures went on, it was his turn to turn on his water works. 

 

It was a sadly wonderful service. 

 

Afterwards, with the wonderful memory indwelling my heart. I got some news about the plans for the California memorial. It seems that a balloon release is forbidden in Huntington Beach. Either off the pier or on the beach. 

 

This is where prayer and planning start all over again. I have something in mind, and will be talking it over with my family. What is in the works and this time, it will be a team effort. As of now, I must relax and let my Driver lead the way. When there are too many hoops to jump through, it is time for me to get out of the driver's seat, and into the back seat. For there is someone of a higher thinking that needs to take over. 

 

Driver and me, are still in Dementia Town. It is a much bigger city then I thought it was. There are still things to see, and do before we head back home. I'm finding that I don't have to be in the car, I just have to have the right thoughts to Keep My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.    

No matter what.

We say our good byes today.

 

Later this morning, we are going to gather with our family and friends to say good bye to my Sweetie Pie, one last time.

 

Years ago, when we first started down this Road to Dementia Town, I started writing on her mirror, love notes, and silly stuff. Using erasable markers, which were never meant to stay this long. On the top, I wrote:

 

I will take care of you;

I will protect you;

And I will love you

No matter what.

 

This morning, I feel I can say that I fulfilled my promise to my Sweetie Pie. For the past 3 years, we have been living down stairs, and I haven't seen that mirror all this time. I was getting a sweater from the closet, when I noticed all the love notes that fill that room. The promises that were made, the love that was made, shared and freely given. 

 

This morning, I'm going to take Sweetie, and all the special stuff to the church and to share her with all of those that will be there. 

 

I will try to share with my friends the love that we had, the joy we had, and I just hope that I can through it. 

 

Friday

 

I've got things to do today. Grandson says that he should have the kitchen done today. I hope so. The paint looks good, and I will have a new look to get accustomed to. 

 

My best buddy, has asked me to take him to the VA to pick up his prescription. That will give me time away from the house, and time with one of my best friends. 

 

I love my time with him, because we laugh. I've told him that and he agrees. There is something about our relationship that is so intimate, so real, so... He is, to me, the brother that I never had. 

 

He is bringing his new love to the memorial and I'll at last get to meet this lady. I told him that I hope I won't be blinded by her beauty, and we laugh. You see, he has lost his sight many years ago, and that is one of the things that makes him so special, we can laugh at jokes like that. 

 

Home, to help grandson in his quest to finish the paint job. We got it all done, with screws left over. All accept the two over the refrigerator, which we will get to today, after the memorial. 

 

It is a good day, here in Dementia Town. Soon we will all be gathering to share our joys, our sorrows, and memories about Sweetie Pie. Then we will all go our separate ways. As for me, I will shed tears, and leave, with My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.   

 

 

Gala Event.

Gone, not forgotten.

It seems that my meltdown from yesterdays morning had some quick response. It made me feel guilty about shutting it all down, at once. 

At the same time I was able to shake the box, and come up with something that I felt fit the bill. Even now I can see this in my minds eye. 

Balloons. Purple balloons, and purple ribbon. We gather at the pier, I will blow up a balloon for them, and when all are gathered, we will walk the pier, like we used to do, and finish at the end of the pier. That is where we will share our stories with her, say our good byes, and on the count of 3, release our balloons. Then, it is whatever anyone wants to do. For as of that moment, I am done. 

So far, it has been universally excepted by all and that was the whole idea of the new memorial. 

Thursday

After I made the big noise of cancelling the memorial, my phone went crazy. Pushed by those that were very disappointed, I gave in and reset the memorial (as you have already read.) to a new agenda. 

Today is the day I sit with Pastor and finish the details of the memorial. We sit and talk about my Sweetie Pie, and the telling of our story, he stops and looks at me "You're a romantic." It caught me by surprise when he told me that. Then he said that that is going to be the theme of his message about her. I am so eager to hear what his impressions are going to sound like. 

Grandson is busy destroying the kitchen, taking covers off, sanding, taping the edges, and painting. As you can imagine, the destruction is complete, and will soon the construction will begin. He says it should be done on Friday. I hope so. 

Got a call from Neptune Society and Sweetie is ready to come home. Pleased that she is ready, I went to pick her up. 

Put her in our bedroom, on the bed stand, on her side. Saturday, I will take her to church, for her social event, and then home with me. To stay with me until I'm ready to make that trip to the beach where we will say our last good byes, and I'll sing her my Sweetie Pie song for the last time with her, until I can sing it again with her as we walk those heavenly lanes together again. 

Her son wants to take some with us, just for him, to say his good byes, and I told him no, because if I make an exception for him, then I would have to make another for someone else, and where does that end? No, Sweetie is for me, and if that sounds selfish, so be it. Then again, there is still a week to go, and they way I am, who knows what I'll come up with. 

As we walk the streets of Dementia Town, I'm looking for a store that will carry those party supplies need for her release. Also, getting the music and flowers for tomorrow's gala event. For there is time for us to enjoy this time, for after all, I am Keeping My Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.

   

 

Honor her, love her, and remember her.

Love of my life.

It is not supposed to be this way. And so, I'm going to do something about it. I'm not ready to put Sweetie into the sea. 

I'm being pulled apart with other ideas about the beach and spreading her ashes. People are adding their ideas, and the whole celebration of her life is getting buried under what others want for my Sweetie. 

Then along with that, I don't have her back yet. These plans have taken on a life of their own, and I'm going to put a steak in the middle of its heart. I am not going to be pushed in this direction and that direction to make everyone happy. For all they are going to know is that I'm keeping her with me for awhile, I'm just not ready to let her go. 

I can blame myself for letting it go on for so long and now I know I need more time. Time to grieve, time to mourn, time to just sit and be alone with her. I just want to be left alone, to sit and reflect on our life together, to slowly let my love for her soak into my being, to live again inside of me. I'm just not ready to start living my life anew, not yet.

This coming Saturday Memorial for Sweetie will be just right. A celebration of her life, with those who have known her, and know me. This is the day I look forward to. This is the day that my heart will be broken and healed. 

Driver is letting me know, it is the right thing for all. When I get all up in the air like this, I will do or say something that will cause me to regret what happens. I don't want that to happen with my Sweetie. Honor her, love her, and remember her. That is the best we can do, as we walk the streets of Dementia Town, Keeping my Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.