A widower

Queen of my Heart.

I am so glad that I have all these wonderful pictures of Sweetie with her great smile. Pictures of all the places we have been, all the fun times we have had, so I can continue to share them with you.

Sweetie, my Sweetie Pie, I don't remember when you became my "Sweetie Pie". It was one of those special names that couples call each other. To her, I was her "Handsome Brute." I didn't think I fill the Handsome part of the name she gave me. 

As she progressed in her Dementia, I became her husband, her caregiver, someone nice. She didn't forget me, she just forgot my name. It didn't matter, for I knew I was still special to her. Even in her last days, she still had that wonderful smile just for me. God, I miss her.

Now the work after death comes about. There are things that I haven't thought about, and now they are here. I have to go to an office, to sign papers for her cremation, order death certificates to show banking institutions. The need to get a probate lawyer, surrender her will.

There is the planning of her memorial, what pictures, what music, what am I going to say about her, Getting the kids together to help me. Still waiting for the company to come and get the bed. And then there is life itself. 

Monday

The kids are gone, the bed is still here, and Sweetie's kitty is still on the bed, next to her pillow. Teddy mews, and I am not alone. 

After my morning is done, I'm ready to do my first Monday as a widower. Before I leave, I get the laundry going, clean the kitchen, as I have done all these years, and out I go. 

This is the first morning I'm early, and plan on staying late. This is the day that I'm going to play extra holes. I don't have any reason to leave early, so I don't .

In the pro shop, there are two men that have shown Sweetie great respect, and were very kind to her. Telling them of her passing, they come and I get hugs. For we were a inseparable twosome. 

Everywhere I go now, people tell me how much they enjoyed watching the way I loved and treated Sweetie. So glad it wasn't an act, for what they saw was my heart taking care of her heart. 

Anyway, back to golf. I played 14 holes this day. Ended with two birdies, just missed a second hole in one, the ball stopped about two inches from the hole. and 4 pars. It was the double bogies that killed the round. 

Went home, like normal, then out to the mall. I find myself singing our walking song all the time now. See the same shops, the same people working the food sections, yet it isn't the same. 

Time to head home, need gas, and because of the steady spike in gas prices, it seems like Costco is a very special place. Had to wait in line about 15 minutes, and that is just fine for me, because it means it is 15 minutes I don't have to do anything. 

Home again, got a call from a friend of mine, checking up on me. But all is fine.

It was a good day with my Driver. Not out of Dementia Town yet. Have a few things left to do before we check out of the hotel and head home. Then it will be easier to keep our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.