For me, she is dangerous.

I feel this way without her.

I'm not wishing that, it is just so lonely without her. Feel like a broken record that keeps skipping back and plays the same line over and over again. 

And yet, at the same time it is easier to move just a little bit further ahead. No one ever said that life was going to be easy, and yet there are times when it seems that life has it easy sections, and I want to stay in them. This is not one of those times. 

For the first time since Sweetie went home, I feel like doing something, taking on a chore that will make me fill alive. Like mowing the yards. Going to give it a shot. 

Friday

I'm up, and feeling blah. You know not up, but not down, more down then I'd like, but livable. Which seems to be the way I've been feeling ever since I got back from Florida. 

Went to my support group meeting, and met a new man, who also is an AAer, like myself. We talked and seem to have a bond. Good for both of us. 

After that, went home, and made the day go by. I did go to my Friday night meeting, only to get the money so I can make a deposit, and pay the rent for the meetings. Gives me something to do in the morning. 

As I was going, stopped to chat with the neighbor lady, she is someone like myself, but with more time in the senior single life. She is very active, and was telling me about the ladies she does stuff with. Like biking, and all the activities she does. For me, she is dangerous. Cute, talkative, and friendly. 

Got to the meeting, got the money and went home, feeling like crap. 

Once home, ate, watch TV, and to bed. I've got Ocean's Waves on my speakers, ambient noise. Soon, it reminds me of Sweetie, on the beach and sleep comes easy. 

Driver isn't in a big hurry, rest, and remember your love, is what He tells me. She is with me, and she loves you. He tells me, and soon the Road to New Life will open, and we will find enjoyment again. Just remember, I'm going to Keep Your Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless. Arthur.